I am only 15 years old and I have been lying since…as far back as I can remember.When I was younger, it was little things like telling my friends my dog died so i could attention. Now that I am older its stuff like “I have a horrible disease and I don’t know if I’ll be able to live” and even worse. Telling my boyfriend and friends that I was pregnant, then played the part, until I couldn’t go any further so bailed by saying I had a miscariage. Other people heard and the story turned into I had an abortion. My church heard about it and contacted my step mom. I got caught up in really big lies. I hurt the people around me, and I really really want to stop! I need more help then what I am reading on the internet. I’m ruining my own life.
I know I lie, and most of the people around me know I do it too. I’ve told myself a few times now that I’m going to stop and that I’m going to change. Right now I’m 17, and I’m scared that this habit will never go away. My lies aren’t huge ones, more of just small ones. But now as I’m getting older I’m noticeing that it’s out of hand. I’m in a serious relationship and I want to be honest with him, I know I havne’t been. But we’ve talked about it and he’s agreed to let me try and better myself. I know a lot of my friends won’t let me have that fresh start, but college will be a new ball game. And my goal is to by then be a new person. Put right now it just seems like a huge undertaking and I’m scared I won’t be able to do it. So any advice would be much apricated, and I wish the rest of you out there the best of luck with your own struggles, it’s hard but I believe if we help eachother out that we can all change for the better.
My advice is following the advice in the article. I think you should be encouraged by the fact that you really want to be different (many liars don’t care that they lie compulsively) As you say lying rots relationships because if people don’t know when we are lying or being truthful then it’s easier for them to stay away completely.
See College is a transition, a time to leave old habits behind and build honest, fair and decent friendships
I’m 16 and I’ve got a real big problem with lying. Its only really started since i fell in love with my boyfriend. Often, he would suddenly act like he didnt care about me, so i made up a variety of different lies such as my parents divorcing, moving abroad and having a life threatening disease. I couldn’t help myself. Once he wouldn’t come and meet me, so I told him I had been kicked out. The next thing i knew, he’d told his parents and they rang my parents and everyone found me out. We are not together anymore but we’re still extremely close. I can tell he doesn’t trust me very much, yet I can’t admit to the things that I did lie about because I am worried what he will think. I’m worried that he wont trust me at all, meaning we would lose contact. I still love him so much, and I never want to lie to him again, but I want to get out of this tangled web without making a fool out of myself. Could you help me out?
Thanks
Good news, you know you want to change, and that’s going to be the hardest part. I think instead of trying to just stop completely, get yourself to take lil steps, make some goals for yourself that seem realistic and that you can do.
as for the boy, you can explain things to him and the best way to do that is to be blunt (makes it easier for you not to lie with less words to twist around)he either a) understands and helps you or b) decides that he can’t trust you. Being as we are it’s this vicious cycle of us wanting to be loved and trusted yet we don’t do it the right way. It may turn out that he doesn’t think he can trust you, but you can’t force him to. It may take some time too. I understand it’s going to hurt and it’ll be hard. But if your relationship doesn’t end up working out because of this hold onto this feeling and know that with your next one you’ll be different and honest with him.
i wish you all the best hun, stay strong and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to ask me. your not alone in this you have people that love and trust you.
i dont know where to start with this but i am 24 and ive been lying for as long as i can remember. Most of the lies are stupid things (e.g. playing rugby in school when i didnt). I am currently in a serious relationship and i want to continue with it but i cant see how it will work as me lies are hurting my fiance. I want/need to stop lying but i dont know where to start. I need to stop lying for myself and my relationship i just dont know where to start. Please help
Well it seems that you have already made a start to address the compulsive lying. The fact that you even want to stop lying means you have already set foot on the road to increased honesty. Follow and put into practice the tips in this article and remember the truth wants to be told
I am 20 years old. I have been lying for several years. I have found some one I deeply care for. I started out by lying to him and i hurt him and lost his trust drastically. I lost many friends due to lying. I found when I think I am about to lie to him or anyone else i change the subject. It gets pretty annoying but it stops me from lying. I want to change and I have wanted to for years, but I was always to embarrased of what everyone would say when they found out I am a compulsive lyer. I started ruining my own life. I have a younger sister and she is acting just like I did. And I hurt inside to see that I am be the reason for her actions now. Also when I feel the need to lie I found that writing how I feel at that moment has helped. I have stopped many lies from being told by doing this. I know the road to change is hard for me as well with anyone. But if you let yourself admitt that you have a problem it only gets easier from there. I used to have low self esteem and would lie to make myself seem better and when I met the guy I am with now he raised it so much by giving me a second chance and start over fresh. I think I am on the right road to getting to become free of lying. I used that idea of saying three truths about myself everyday and its really catching on. I am starting to tell more truths and way less lies. I wish you all the best in your journies and I hope you all seek what you truely want. If anyone has any advice please feel free to contact me… taylorshanteau@yahoo.com
I helped produce this hypnosis download called ‘stop compulsive lying’ which you may find useful. http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/communication-skills/compulsive-lying
My name is Daniel Letts. Now i havent yet lied about anything major or tried to recently. but i feel that with all the little lies i keep telling im sure to start doing so.
Now its mainly panic lying i get myself involved in. just saying somthing straight away after ive been caight or found out. but i dont stop. i keep going even when the evidence is clear. i cant help it. well maybe i can but i dont know how to.
hey im cassidy, im 15. and ive been lying ever since i can remember. i think its to get sympathy or attention. i lie about being close to people that have passed away ( i knew them, but not well) i make up stuff that i do on weekends ( like party, and stuff to make me look cool) i lie to my boyfriend and it kills me inside when i do it, but i cant seem to stop. my lies are to big to really confess, i just wanna stop and tell the truth from now on. help me!!
Im 15 aswell and i lie because i like the attention but i dont like being the center of attention, ive lied about moving to england, new zeland, needing an operation and being highly allergic to alcohol. my friends are getting sick of it and they have fallen out with me because of it and im getting sick of it,i told myself that i would stop but i couldnt :’( i dont know what to do..
I am 17 and have a problem with lying to my parents. Its not so bad with my friends, but i cannot stop lying to my parents.. i have been lying since i can remember, also, and am not sure how to stop. i try to be honest with them about as much as i can, but when it comes to telling them stuff i did wrong, i really cannot tell them the truth. i don’t know how. this seems different then what others have said, but i am in the same boat, because it really is deteriorating my life.
i am 16 and i am always lying. i have been lying since i was in middle school and it has gotten bad. biggest itold was that i had this boyfriend who looked like someone famous and did things for the famous person like interviews and so on. my mom wouldalways want to meet him and i would say no hes moving to new york so she culdnt ask anymore. i lied to my best friend about things and now we are not frinds anymore and i also lie to my friendsand said i had a brother when i really dont. i want so badly to stop because its just pathetic and every time i try to come clean i get nervous and think my mom will hate me and never forgive me.
I am 17 years old and I’ve always known myself to be a liar since I was a child. Recently my boyfriend of 4 months and I have had some problems, and they are because of my lies. I am truly serious about him, but I keep on making up my life in the past (such as going around or dating rich guys to make him feel inferior to me). While I was self reflecting today, I realize that my whole life is a lie. Just about every word that comes out of my mouth to my friends and my boyfriend is a lie, and I have been telling myself for the past few days to stop lying, but before I know it more comes out. I am truly afraid to tell anyone that I know about my problem because I know that they will not trust me anymore. I don’t want to come out clean, but I want to stop my self destruction before it’s too late. I lie about little things and big things. I have started a little journal about my problem today, and the first page is about why I lie and most of them is for boosting myself in front of others so that I will be accepted and seen as a more interesting person. I know that there are people who will accept me for me, but I always want to boost myself to be higher than others or to make myself feel better. I am moving out this year and beginning my adult life soon, so I really do want to lead a better and clean life.
I just don’t get it. Why do people feel the need to lie so much? I mean we are all insecure from time to time.. my God. When I find out that your friend is lying it feels like my heart was ripped out. I cried like a dog for weeks, because nothing about this person is true. I introduced her to some of my other friends and now she has worked her way up my friends. Confronting her has not worked she will lie and keep it up and I don’t have the energy to fight her.
I have majorly lied to my husband and I have also told the truth about my lies, but my husband still doesnt believe me and i still do the same behaviors that i have always done when i was lying, but im not lying and i want to get advice on how to stop acting defensive, and contradicting, and saying things that i dont mean, because it is ruining my relationship. I have stopped lying now i need to change my behavior. Please help me figure this out.
Hi Holly, so now you are doing the kind of behaviour that before you lied about to cover it up? It’s hard to advise with little information but I appreciate you might not want to go into detail on a public forum. All you can do is behave as decently as possible because if you lied before to save your husband’s feelings then his feelings will no longer be “protected” if your behaviour is hurtful.
i been lying since i could talk. i make stuff up or tell part of the truth. well my lying is hurting my relationship. i wake up saying im not going to lie then i end up lying. i did some bad thing in my relationship and came clean and everything i say he thinks is a lie. I talked to my ex in a flirty way and and nere met him while being in my relation ship. now he thinks im lying about not meeting him. dont blame him for not believing a word i said. please help me stop lying
I dont remeber telling any bigs lies its not a massive problem but i dont want it to be a big problem despite it .
Like i’ll tell a big lie a couple of times a year but not to the extent tht it affects others around me, although it affects me. Like my parents are from abroad and i went to a special school in britain to learn my roots language but only up to p5 .Now im in my last year at high school a different school altogether and were applying to university and i told people that i have grades up to high school from abroad and the grades from the country im currently in were infact i only have the grades from this country and those are the ones i told them i was applying with in this country and i am but these other “grades” i said to make myself seem smarter cause i feel so much pressure in school and everyone is smarter than me and am struggling particulary in my final year of school coz their so much pressure . I also made up these stories when i was in my 3rd year that i did cannibis and stuff just to fit in but i never have but that fact i told these lies i felt i have “done it” if that makes sense i also told these lies that my family were really well off they are but not my family i live with in the house but we can manage i only told this lie to 2 people that weren’t really close friends anyway but still:( , that was when i was 14/begining of 15 but now am 18 and i’v not made up any big lie like tht till now but i have like little lies . Like when you tell a funny story your exagerate it or even if its a little story u exaggerate it . Example i will speaking to my friend that i found a new tutor , that called not long after i contacted him to c if he would tutor me instead i would say
-“Hey i found this new tutor so far he seems nices , it was really good he contacted me straight away!” :/ you c and this stuff is frequent in my speech and i get really fustrated
please tell me what i can do to change thsi habit first just telling them exactly what happened obviously but that doesnt happen over night i would like steps to stop
please i dont want to be like this when i go to university
Hi Jimmy
Well it sounds as if you have, to some extent, overcome compulsive lying and as you say it is now confined to “little lies”. As you say exaggerating a funny tale or “embellishing” it may be a way of making it more entertaining but there is a thin line between exaggeration and simply making something up that just isn’t so. Follow the advice in the article and see how you get on and bit by bit you’ll live more honestly.
I am 19 years old, i am a compulsive liar. my whole life, starting probaly in the 5th grade i have lied about every aspect of life. i dropped out of high school my 11th grade year, and worked part time at a industrial supply store. i told everyone the company was gonn pay for college and i was a big shot in the company. but i wasnt. i lied about all things, big and small. this continued for years, in december of 10’ i was married. i had lied to my wife, lies that are unbeleivable in nature. i had told her i had 217,000 dollars, land, i made alot of money, i had horses and things i didnt have. i even said that my mother abandoned me as a child. which is not true. all this came out about a week ago. she has separated from me, wants a divorce. we are expecting a child. i want to stop my lies. i want to fix myself for her, and for our baby. but i do not know how. it has ruined my entire life with my family. friends, and im loosing all that is important to me. i need help. i ruined my life. and need help. i lied and used my grandmother for over 30,000 dollars of credit card use. everyday i lie, about most everything. i have lost jobs because of it, and am loosing everything. possibly my wife and baby. im thankful to god to bless me with a family that has forgiven me and stands by me. i am ashamed for the lies i said about them. i pray for gods forgiveness, and the forgivness of my wife. i love her and our baby, and thats the only truth i know. i never had intentions of hurting anyone, i love all that i hurt and i do not know why i lied. personal gain maybe. for attention. i do not know. but i love them all and i have to make all this right. even now, after ive been caught and know i must be honest i still lie. how can i stop it. how can i change. its a rock bottom, that i keep digging deeper. i need help. i dont want to give up. and i wont. but i cant live knowing they are hurt because of my lies. i want to be a father to my baby, a husband to my wife. i want to be honest as i was taught to be. please god help me. please forgive me. i lead my new family into beleiving all these lies, and i love them i do. they gave up money for me. they helped me. and i continued to lie. why? what is the purpose? it causes only pain. or temporary fixes. please help to. someone, god, anyone please help me. i love my wife and baby and i cant loose them. they are my faith and inspiration to change. but i feat it is to late. i do not know if i have faith, or a sense of being cocky. i pray its faith. i have hurt so many. the ones most hurt are the ones that love me most. i thank you all, and im so sorry. these are my consequences. i must face them. but i need help. i need my wife. i need myfamily and i need to be honest. i have to tell the truth no matter what. please sam, please to my beautiful child, please to my mother, to grandma lena, to dennis, to grandpa, to papa, granny, cody, and mellissa. please forgive me. please god forgive me. please give me the strenght to tell the truth.
Hi Trish that’s a good question. Actually Claire had the opposite problem in that people in her life had stopped believing anything she said-even when it was true. Many of her lies were so dramatic that they had been uncovered already-which is worse, of course, than owning up to them. For example she had lied about having a terminal illness and all sorts of others things and eventually the truth has a habit of making itself known. She eventually started out a new-moving to a new area, got a new relationship and friends and a job and, the last time I spoke to her, was happy in the relief of enjoying her honesty but whether she has told people in her life she used to lie so much I don’t know.
im 22 this year but generaly i consider myself 23. My life spiraled out of control from the day i was born, evrything that could possibly go wrong went wrong, i had a painful childhood and no 1 even noticed what i was going thru because i was quite silent, i was nearly raped and though it ddnt happen but that experience tormented me daily, afta that experience i chose the easy way out, i took evrytng that i wish i could change in my life and i changed it, i hide the truth about my sad life and when a person got close enough to the truth, i move away from them, no one knows the real me except my late grandad who was my real and only confidant, its bn 2 years since hs passing on, till today i struggle to accept that he is gone, my mom and my granma try but they dont realise the depth of my pain, no 1 does..i have a boyfriend whom i totaly adore nd love and i know he loves me too bt a part of me cant let him into my real empty world..im tired of running away from my painful past and now its slowly strtng to catch up on me..
For the past 22 years of my life i have been living a lie, my life spiraled out of control from the day i was born, evrything that could possibly go wrong went wrng, i had a painful childhood nd when i was about 9 years old, i was nearly raped, that experience tormented me evryday of my life, after that i decided to change evrything about my life that had hurt me or caused me pain, and if anyone got close to the truth, i would just move away from them, two years ago i lost the only person who knew me and understood me, my confidant and my best friend, i lost my grandad, i felt an emptiness in my life and thats when my half truths started coming out because i felt alne in the world. My mom and granma try to be there for me but they dnt understand the depth of my pain. I hav been in a serious relationship for the past three years, i love him but i just cant let him into my real life so i push him away and it pains me to see him hurt, weird enough i never had to lie about being sick because i genuinly was sick and i hated it. My life is catching up with me and maybe its time i acceptd it but i just dont know how
Hi Mpho well it sounds as if you have been through so much and keeping people at a distance through not fully embracing the truth has been a protection mechanism for you but sometimes what used to work stops working so well and starts to feel more uncomfortable-like shoes that when we start to grow no longer fit and therefore start to feel uncomfortable and its a relief to finally take them off and move on.
You may be experiencing “growing pains” and now may be an excellent time to make new adaptions in your life and be more open with your boyfriend for example. I so sorry to hear about your granddad-you’ll have that level of connection with others in the future too I’m sure (not that he could be replaced I understand). What happened when you were nine was terrible. I hope you have talked to people about that. Anyway please have faith in the future.
PRAY TO GOD AND READ AND UTILIZE THE AUDIO ON HYPNOSIS HERE!! ÍT WASN’T EASY HEADING DOWN THIS ROAD AND IT WON’T BE EASY TO COME BACK FROM THE WRONG PATH, BUT GIVE GOD ALL THE GLORY AND DAILY PRAY, MEDITATE AND REMEMBER THE 7 TIPS OFFERED!! AFTER DOING THESE DAILY…ANYONE SHOULD SEE IMPROVEMENT! READING SCRIPTURE ALSO HELPS!!
I am 15 years old and I have been lying for as long as I can remember. It started with small lies and just turned into me lying to almost everybody I knew and loved. I lie to my parents and my family all the time about the stupidest things. Sometimes I don’t even remember that I had lied. I want to stop lying but I don’t know how to stop. If I stop lying then it can help me make better choices all around. I have been ruining my own life for far too long and hurting the people I love for far too long. I just want to stop lying.
I dont want to say im a Big Liar but yes i have lied and told a lot of white lies to protect my partner from being hurt. Ive never cheated on her, beat or abused her, but cause ive told these white lies over and over again, i have to realise that i need help in stopping and have no idea how to go about that before i lose her for good..
I am 17 years old and I have been lying since i was 7 years old. Im am tired of lying and I am tired of it effecting my relationship with my family. My family has been in my corner for the longest and we stick together no matter what but my lying is making the togetherness of this family very uneasy. My father has given up on me completely and the aunt and grandmother that has been by my side no matter what I have done has washed their hands with me also. I am aware that the reason i lie is to make my self look better than what people think of me when they know the truth of my lies. I am in desperate need of help to stop my lying and I hope and pray to regain trust and love from my family. My heart is broken and my mind is filled with guilt and pitty for my loved ones that I have hurt. PLEASE HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS,I WANT TO LIVE THE TRUTH EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE.
I’m 22 and remember when I first started lying. Pre-k to make myself look good. After that it was mostly self preservation. Emotional, physical, mental. I stopped for a good while when I was 19 but something got me started again. The lies have steadily gotten worse and more elaborate over the years…now I’m in danger of losing my home and fiancé. I can’t stop. If I tell the truth I’ll lose everything anyway…what do I do?
I have been lying for as long as I can remember also. I could think of excuses to why but those will only set me back further. I’m engaged and now my relationship is on the line and I want to stop. I want to not be a liar and I don’t want to disrespect the women I want to spend the rest of my life with, with lies. I feell like I’m moving forward just writing this…
i am 21 years old. i my self am a compulsive liar and have been ever since i was a chid, i lived by this excessive behaviour till now. i have spilled and hurt every person in my life especially loved ones. small lies became very big, and big lies well obviously even greater. over the past few months the first time in my life i decided to do something about it. it started slow just thinking while i am talking to someone to stop and think, “this is a situation where i could be dishonest with this person, this is the moment where i would usually say something i’m not.” that mentality has helped me form myself as a growing honest person. i slip every now and then because i get nervous and dont know how to think so i do what i always have done and thats lying. my ex-girlfriend who i am still seeing is suffering because what i have done.i am going to repair the damage i have caused, i wish i could go back in time to the moment we first met, and be the better man i am today, and if i know i’m not good enough then, then i would have left her alone and fixed myself first at least. my love for her is unconditional, she is the best friend, lover, sweetest person i could ever lay eyes on, and i know being honest would make us complete and whole, not building barriers between her and i, i gave her everything except the one thing all she ever asked for. my honesty.
I don’t remember why or how I started lying, at first it was small things…it got me attention but eventually led to life disaster so I moved and got a new job and started all over! I told lies abou other people and lies about stuff to manipulate people into doing what I wanted..over the years I have gotten so good at it I started lying to the person I love most in the world I have manipulated and destroyed everything I care about…I turned everything so ugly and all with lies to feel better…I wanted him to act a certain way so I lied and pretended to be angry with him so he would do what I wanted..it spread and got worse and worse! Now we have broken up and I blamed it all on him..he is depressed and thinks he messed up when it was all me! I turned my family and friends againt him..I don’t want to run away but telling everyone the truth is something I can’t do…I have tried and then I just end up lying more!! I don’t know how to fix this.
I’m 14 and i have been lying ever since i was 7. I just got in trouble today for lying and it wasn’t worth lying about.Lying just comes naturally and i can’t stop.I don’t even think of lying it just blurts out.I’m starting to lose trust in my parents and my friends may notice i lie also.I really need help. I’m starting to lose reason and i keep ruining my life and other peoples lives too!
Thank you . I am needing help so badly . All the lies have been depressing me for years . When all along I thought I was making this up so I would not have to tell poeple I am so depressed .
i have been reading all sorts of help about this problem, for about 30 minutes. this seems like this could help and i want to say thank you, hopefully this will change me for the better and help me be better for my family, friends and ever loving, ever patient girlfriend!
I am 14 and I was showing of to a girl that I really liked and wanted to have stuff in common with so when she told me her dad was in Iraq I said mine to, I told her a whole bunch of other lies and today she told me that she thinks I’m not completely telling her the truth. I’ve liked this girl for a really long time but she seems to good for me she is really nice though and defended me when I got picked on. I have also lied to my parents and teachers I need to quit and I’ve tried I just can’t please give me some advice I don’t want to live my life like this I’ve lied since I was really young!
Hi,
My name is Cortney I’m 20 and I’ve been lying for years now. It started out with small things like most people but as I got older and troubles started at home I started lying about more and more things and my lies started to get more complicated. Most of them were to make myself and my life seem better and in a sense I was lying to myself because for the time I was telling the lie I believe it to be true. It wasn’t until I got to high school that my lying caused me to drift from some of my friends and it hurt to know that I had hurt so many people. Now I don’t lie as much but it is still a problem. I try now to stop myself from slipping into a lie or to admit it when I do. I’m leaving for College soon and I really want to be able to have a normal conversation and to know that I’m letting the people I meet get to know the real me so advice and support is really welcomed and I want everyone out there to know that you are not alone and that you shouldn’t hate yourself because it’s a part of who you are. We all have our own struggles to overcome and for us this just happens to be ours but we don’t have to let it control our lives. I wish you all the best of luck and prayers.
I am a 16 year old girl who has a problem lying to my parents. I am afraid of the truth because I do not want to mess up me and my dad’s relationship more than it already is. Any further damage would completely ruin our shaky relationship. I do not lie to get attention from people or just out of habit, my anxieties help me believe that lying is the only way out. When I am in a stressful situation, I feel trapped. It is not that I am afraid of the physical consequences of the truth, it is that I am afraid of the effects on my family and friends.
i am 15 years old and i have been a liar for quite some time now. i chose to live with my dad because my mom lies to me all the time, and yet i always tell the truth to her. anyways, ever since i moved in with my dad, its been lie after lie after lie. my dad always tells the truth 24/7 to me and my brothers. but the question is, how can i stop compulsive lying to everyone? is there someway i can prevent it before it gets worse? i really want to live an honest life. please help me.
Hello
I am 28 years old, and I have serious lying problem I am trying to stop completely. I am in serious realtionship and all the times that I did lie I was caught. I have been with her for a year and half now and I care for her and love her with all my heart I truly trying to stop. But it is hard. I am talking about she is bringing lies up from last year. And I can see it is tearing her down and I cant stop. Every other word is a lie. But I think I am coming around. But she is afraid she cant trust me. And I am afraid that I am going to loose her. It is so bad I lie to own family about certain things. Is there a less expensive way other tahn going to the congnitive therapy?. Kind of like trying to help ,your self stop it
I am 24 and am diagnosed with BPD but I also have a huge problem with compulsively lying. I have destroyed numerous relationships over my lies. I have lied about serious things to either keep or make friends & have done the same with intimate relationships. I am in love with my current boyfriend & he feels the same about me but I need to stop lying for things to work. I am looking for a place to get help with my BPD but I need something to help with my lying because that’s one of our biggest problems. There’s also no way I am going to have a career as a medical assistant if I continue to lie the way I do. So any help you can give I would greatly appreciate.
i just lied about where my family comes from and im adopted and im really bad about this every time it comes up i dont know what to say. people play up their heritage and get so proud of it and i have nothing to say so i try to make it minimal
i feel like a compulsive liar sometimes because id ont lie about big things but little things. im honest about my problems but i think im fucked anyway. im the ridiculous kinda liar that lies about everything petty. the kinda liar that makes people wonder why would you lie about that??? i dont even know why i do it. it is just out of control ? what is that even called?
I’ve lied since childhood, not sure why. I have lied about most everything. I tell people who don’t know me lies about where I was born, my job, my income, my education level, my date of birth, just about everything. Along with your advice I now ask out loud if what I said was a lie and correct it if it was. People know I’m honest when I keep checking if I lied and it helps build real relationships with much better people. The worst thing about lying is having to constantly find new places to live and new people to befriend because I lied my way to the point people couldn’t stand my friendship.
I’m 15 years of age right now. I don’t know what is wrong with me but, I always feel the need to lie. I can remember since way back from when I was a child all of the lies I told. It’s embarrassing, I don’t know what to do in order to stop lying. I want to stop really bad and I know it’s seem like an easy thing to do. I feel like a horrible fake person, please help me I’m stuck.
i dont know when i started, but i lie compulssivly almost everyday. its gotten to the point that i dont know how to carry on a conversation without tellling ‘stories’. and i do it habitually. which to be frank, scares me. im fourteen.
i am 17 years old and i can remember back to the begining stages of my compulsive lying. As a young man i wanted to always be on top and always have people looking at me like i was the greatest, there-fore cheating. Cheatingreal life by not achiving what i was lyig about. through the years i have become an amazing liar, i can spark up any type of lie for any situaton possible. Now i lie for anything. From extreme lies to make myself look great, to lies where i am trying to keep someone happy. I recently lost the love of my life due to my history of lying. I lied to my girlfriend numerous times aout where i have been, who i was with, and what i was doing. Altough i have never cheated on her, my lyin gives her the sense that i did because i have lied so much she cannot believe me. I now realize that i am a copulsive liar and i need to do everything i can to fix myself and bring my love back to my arms where she belongs.
I am 34 years old and I keep failing…. I cant stop lying and it is effecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I lie because I am afraid I am not interesting enough for people to want to be my friend… But I lose everyone…. I am willing to do anything to stop and hope it is not too late to save me and my relationship.
Hello Mark, I’m 16 now and I have been lying since as long as I can remember. The little things, of course, then the humongous lies ensued. I was never given much attention as a child, (truth) so I began lying to my friends for attention. Eventually, they were huge lies. That I was abused by my parents and living with my brother (not true.) that my other (fictitious) brother died in iraq, and that I was schizophrenic and suicidal, all to get people to turn their heads. Subconsciously, I think this was, not only to gain attention, but to mask a true ugly truth, that I was gay. and keep in mind that I grew (and am currently growing up) in an extremely homophobic town. Eventually, my parents found out my lies through my texts, which resulted in my phone being taken away for years and therapy. The therapy mostly covered how my parents could cope with it, and never covered my lying. I thought I learned, but it continued to my next group of friends. And they were fantastic friends. I weaved intricate stories on how my mom’s ex-husband committed suicide, and how I had a dangerous heart condition. (even faked a heart episode in front of them) This was getting out of hand. Also in the midst of that, I came out to them, which they accepted. Eventually, however, they found out, and everything was ruined. Of course, they thought I was lying about my sexuality as well. I thought everything was over for me, until I read your article, and everyone elses comments, and felt like I was reading a biography of myself. I’m not alone! I want to fix this once and for all. I’m going to be in a new school next year, so I’m starting out with new people, so I want to try my HARDEST to be truthful to them, without them finding out about my sketchy past. Any help is needed, and thank you so much for understanding why we do this.
dezarae on May 31 said:
I am only 15 years old and I have been lying since…as far back as I can remember.When I was younger, it was little things like telling my friends my dog died so i could attention. Now that I am older its stuff like “I have a horrible disease and I don’t know if I’ll be able to live” and even worse. Telling my boyfriend and friends that I was pregnant, then played the part, until I couldn’t go any further so bailed by saying I had a miscariage. Other people heard and the story turned into I had an abortion. My church heard about it and contacted my step mom. I got caught up in really big lies. I hurt the people around me, and I really really want to stop! I need more help then what I am reading on the internet. I’m ruining my own life.
BRIAN HASSETT on July 20 said:
It was very helpful to me i have been lying about the silliest of things to my friend and this is going to help me to stop doing it thank you
Kelsie on July 23 said:
I know I lie, and most of the people around me know I do it too. I’ve told myself a few times now that I’m going to stop and that I’m going to change. Right now I’m 17, and I’m scared that this habit will never go away. My lies aren’t huge ones, more of just small ones. But now as I’m getting older I’m noticeing that it’s out of hand. I’m in a serious relationship and I want to be honest with him, I know I havne’t been. But we’ve talked about it and he’s agreed to let me try and better myself. I know a lot of my friends won’t let me have that fresh start, but college will be a new ball game. And my goal is to by then be a new person. Put right now it just seems like a huge undertaking and I’m scared I won’t be able to do it. So any advice would be much apricated, and I wish the rest of you out there the best of luck with your own struggles, it’s hard but I believe if we help eachother out that we can all change for the better.
Mark Tyrrell on July 23 said:
Hi Kelsie
My advice is following the advice in the article. I think you should be encouraged by the fact that you really want to be different (many liars don’t care that they lie compulsively) As you say lying rots relationships because if people don’t know when we are lying or being truthful then it’s easier for them to stay away completely.
See College is a transition, a time to leave old habits behind and build honest, fair and decent friendships
Mark
anne on August 01 said:
I’m 16 and I’ve got a real big problem with lying. Its only really started since i fell in love with my boyfriend. Often, he would suddenly act like he didnt care about me, so i made up a variety of different lies such as my parents divorcing, moving abroad and having a life threatening disease. I couldn’t help myself. Once he wouldn’t come and meet me, so I told him I had been kicked out. The next thing i knew, he’d told his parents and they rang my parents and everyone found me out. We are not together anymore but we’re still extremely close. I can tell he doesn’t trust me very much, yet I can’t admit to the things that I did lie about because I am worried what he will think. I’m worried that he wont trust me at all, meaning we would lose contact. I still love him so much, and I never want to lie to him again, but I want to get out of this tangled web without making a fool out of myself. Could you help me out?
Thanks
Kelsie on August 03 said:
anne,
Good news, you know you want to change, and that’s going to be the hardest part. I think instead of trying to just stop completely, get yourself to take lil steps, make some goals for yourself that seem realistic and that you can do.
as for the boy, you can explain things to him and the best way to do that is to be blunt (makes it easier for you not to lie with less words to twist around)he either a) understands and helps you or b) decides that he can’t trust you. Being as we are it’s this vicious cycle of us wanting to be loved and trusted yet we don’t do it the right way. It may turn out that he doesn’t think he can trust you, but you can’t force him to. It may take some time too. I understand it’s going to hurt and it’ll be hard. But if your relationship doesn’t end up working out because of this hold onto this feeling and know that with your next one you’ll be different and honest with him.
a friend, Kelsie
Chris on September 27 said:
i dont know where to start with this but i am 24 and ive been lying for as long as i can remember. Most of the lies are stupid things (e.g. playing rugby in school when i didnt). I am currently in a serious relationship and i want to continue with it but i cant see how it will work as me lies are hurting my fiance. I want/need to stop lying but i dont know where to start. I need to stop lying for myself and my relationship i just dont know where to start. Please help
Mark Tyrrell on September 27 said:
Hi Chris
Well it seems that you have already made a start to address the compulsive lying. The fact that you even want to stop lying means you have already set foot on the road to increased honesty. Follow and put into practice the tips in this article and remember the truth wants to be told
All the best
Mark
Taylor on October 01 said:
I am 20 years old. I have been lying for several years. I have found some one I deeply care for. I started out by lying to him and i hurt him and lost his trust drastically. I lost many friends due to lying. I found when I think I am about to lie to him or anyone else i change the subject. It gets pretty annoying but it stops me from lying. I want to change and I have wanted to for years, but I was always to embarrased of what everyone would say when they found out I am a compulsive lyer. I started ruining my own life. I have a younger sister and she is acting just like I did. And I hurt inside to see that I am be the reason for her actions now. Also when I feel the need to lie I found that writing how I feel at that moment has helped. I have stopped many lies from being told by doing this. I know the road to change is hard for me as well with anyone. But if you let yourself admitt that you have a problem it only gets easier from there. I used to have low self esteem and would lie to make myself seem better and when I met the guy I am with now he raised it so much by giving me a second chance and start over fresh. I think I am on the right road to getting to become free of lying. I used that idea of saying three truths about myself everyday and its really catching on. I am starting to tell more truths and way less lies. I wish you all the best in your journies and I hope you all seek what you truely want. If anyone has any advice please feel free to contact me… taylorshanteau@yahoo.com
Stacy Lowelife on October 04 said:
I am what you would call a habitual liar. I know I need help and anything you can send me is appreciated.
Stacy
Mark Tyrrell on October 06 said:
Hi Stacy
I helped produce this hypnosis download called ‘stop compulsive lying’ which you may find useful. http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/communication-skills/compulsive-lying
Warm regards
Mark
wes richardson on October 10 said:
my names wes im 31 and have been lieing for as long as i can remember. i want to stop and need advice please.
Daniel Letts on November 15 said:
My name is Daniel Letts. Now i havent yet lied about anything major or tried to recently. but i feel that with all the little lies i keep telling im sure to start doing so.
Now its mainly panic lying i get myself involved in. just saying somthing straight away after ive been caight or found out. but i dont stop. i keep going even when the evidence is clear. i cant help it. well maybe i can but i dont know how to.
Kassidy on November 20 said:
hey im cassidy, im 15. and ive been lying ever since i can remember. i think its to get sympathy or attention. i lie about being close to people that have passed away ( i knew them, but not well) i make up stuff that i do on weekends ( like party, and stuff to make me look cool) i lie to my boyfriend and it kills me inside when i do it, but i cant seem to stop. my lies are to big to really confess, i just wanna stop and tell the truth from now on. help me!!
Madison Kemp on December 04 said:
Im 15 aswell and i lie because i like the attention but i dont like being the center of attention, ive lied about moving to england, new zeland, needing an operation and being highly allergic to alcohol. my friends are getting sick of it and they have fallen out with me because of it and im getting sick of it,i told myself that i would stop but i couldnt :’( i dont know what to do..
bridget hoyt on December 06 said:
Help
Megan on December 11 said:
I am 17 and have a problem with lying to my parents. Its not so bad with my friends, but i cannot stop lying to my parents.. i have been lying since i can remember, also, and am not sure how to stop. i try to be honest with them about as much as i can, but when it comes to telling them stuff i did wrong, i really cannot tell them the truth. i don’t know how. this seems different then what others have said, but i am in the same boat, because it really is deteriorating my life.
aseta on December 31 said:
i am 16 and i am always lying. i have been lying since i was in middle school and it has gotten bad. biggest itold was that i had this boyfriend who looked like someone famous and did things for the famous person like interviews and so on. my mom wouldalways want to meet him and i would say no hes moving to new york so she culdnt ask anymore. i lied to my best friend about things and now we are not frinds anymore and i also lie to my friendsand said i had a brother when i really dont. i want so badly to stop because its just pathetic and every time i try to come clean i get nervous and think my mom will hate me and never forgive me.
Mimi on January 02 said:
I am 17 years old and I’ve always known myself to be a liar since I was a child. Recently my boyfriend of 4 months and I have had some problems, and they are because of my lies. I am truly serious about him, but I keep on making up my life in the past (such as going around or dating rich guys to make him feel inferior to me). While I was self reflecting today, I realize that my whole life is a lie. Just about every word that comes out of my mouth to my friends and my boyfriend is a lie, and I have been telling myself for the past few days to stop lying, but before I know it more comes out. I am truly afraid to tell anyone that I know about my problem because I know that they will not trust me anymore. I don’t want to come out clean, but I want to stop my self destruction before it’s too late. I lie about little things and big things. I have started a little journal about my problem today, and the first page is about why I lie and most of them is for boosting myself in front of others so that I will be accepted and seen as a more interesting person. I know that there are people who will accept me for me, but I always want to boost myself to be higher than others or to make myself feel better. I am moving out this year and beginning my adult life soon, so I really do want to lead a better and clean life.
Ella on January 09 said:
I just don’t get it. Why do people feel the need to lie so much? I mean we are all insecure from time to time.. my God. When I find out that your friend is lying it feels like my heart was ripped out. I cried like a dog for weeks, because nothing about this person is true. I introduced her to some of my other friends and now she has worked her way up my friends. Confronting her has not worked she will lie and keep it up and I don’t have the energy to fight her.
Holly on January 30 said:
I have majorly lied to my husband and I have also told the truth about my lies, but my husband still doesnt believe me and i still do the same behaviors that i have always done when i was lying, but im not lying and i want to get advice on how to stop acting defensive, and contradicting, and saying things that i dont mean, because it is ruining my relationship. I have stopped lying now i need to change my behavior. Please help me figure this out.
Mark Tyrrell on January 31 said:
Hi Holly, so now you are doing the kind of behaviour that before you lied about to cover it up? It’s hard to advise with little information but I appreciate you might not want to go into detail on a public forum. All you can do is behave as decently as possible because if you lied before to save your husband’s feelings then his feelings will no longer be “protected” if your behaviour is hurtful.
All the best
Mark
Danielle on February 05 said:
i been lying since i could talk. i make stuff up or tell part of the truth. well my lying is hurting my relationship. i wake up saying im not going to lie then i end up lying. i did some bad thing in my relationship and came clean and everything i say he thinks is a lie. I talked to my ex in a flirty way and and nere met him while being in my relation ship. now he thinks im lying about not meeting him. dont blame him for not believing a word i said. please help me stop lying
jimmy on February 06 said:
I dont remeber telling any bigs lies its not a massive problem but i dont want it to be a big problem despite it .
Like i’ll tell a big lie a couple of times a year but not to the extent tht it affects others around me, although it affects me. Like my parents are from abroad and i went to a special school in britain to learn my roots language but only up to p5 .Now im in my last year at high school a different school altogether and were applying to university and i told people that i have grades up to high school from abroad and the grades from the country im currently in were infact i only have the grades from this country and those are the ones i told them i was applying with in this country and i am but these other “grades” i said to make myself seem smarter cause i feel so much pressure in school and everyone is smarter than me and am struggling particulary in my final year of school coz their so much pressure . I also made up these stories when i was in my 3rd year that i did cannibis and stuff just to fit in but i never have but that fact i told these lies i felt i have “done it” if that makes sense i also told these lies that my family were really well off they are but not my family i live with in the house but we can manage i only told this lie to 2 people that weren’t really close friends anyway but still:( , that was when i was 14/begining of 15 but now am 18 and i’v not made up any big lie like tht till now but i have like little lies . Like when you tell a funny story your exagerate it or even if its a little story u exaggerate it . Example i will speaking to my friend that i found a new tutor , that called not long after i contacted him to c if he would tutor me instead i would say
-“Hey i found this new tutor so far he seems nices , it was really good he contacted me straight away!” :/ you c and this stuff is frequent in my speech and i get really fustrated
please tell me what i can do to change thsi habit first just telling them exactly what happened obviously but that doesnt happen over night i would like steps to stop
please i dont want to be like this when i go to university
thanks
Mark Tyrrell on February 07 said:
Hi Jimmy
Well it sounds as if you have, to some extent, overcome compulsive lying and as you say it is now confined to “little lies”. As you say exaggerating a funny tale or “embellishing” it may be a way of making it more entertaining but there is a thin line between exaggeration and simply making something up that just isn’t so. Follow the advice in the article and see how you get on and bit by bit you’ll live more honestly.
All the best
Mark
ryan on February 10 said:
I am 19 years old, i am a compulsive liar. my whole life, starting probaly in the 5th grade i have lied about every aspect of life. i dropped out of high school my 11th grade year, and worked part time at a industrial supply store. i told everyone the company was gonn pay for college and i was a big shot in the company. but i wasnt. i lied about all things, big and small. this continued for years, in december of 10’ i was married. i had lied to my wife, lies that are unbeleivable in nature. i had told her i had 217,000 dollars, land, i made alot of money, i had horses and things i didnt have. i even said that my mother abandoned me as a child. which is not true. all this came out about a week ago. she has separated from me, wants a divorce. we are expecting a child. i want to stop my lies. i want to fix myself for her, and for our baby. but i do not know how. it has ruined my entire life with my family. friends, and im loosing all that is important to me. i need help. i ruined my life. and need help. i lied and used my grandmother for over 30,000 dollars of credit card use. everyday i lie, about most everything. i have lost jobs because of it, and am loosing everything. possibly my wife and baby. im thankful to god to bless me with a family that has forgiven me and stands by me. i am ashamed for the lies i said about them. i pray for gods forgiveness, and the forgivness of my wife. i love her and our baby, and thats the only truth i know. i never had intentions of hurting anyone, i love all that i hurt and i do not know why i lied. personal gain maybe. for attention. i do not know. but i love them all and i have to make all this right. even now, after ive been caught and know i must be honest i still lie. how can i stop it. how can i change. its a rock bottom, that i keep digging deeper. i need help. i dont want to give up. and i wont. but i cant live knowing they are hurt because of my lies. i want to be a father to my baby, a husband to my wife. i want to be honest as i was taught to be. please god help me. please forgive me. i lead my new family into beleiving all these lies, and i love them i do. they gave up money for me. they helped me. and i continued to lie. why? what is the purpose? it causes only pain. or temporary fixes. please help to. someone, god, anyone please help me. i love my wife and baby and i cant loose them. they are my faith and inspiration to change. but i feat it is to late. i do not know if i have faith, or a sense of being cocky. i pray its faith. i have hurt so many. the ones most hurt are the ones that love me most. i thank you all, and im so sorry. these are my consequences. i must face them. but i need help. i need my wife. i need myfamily and i need to be honest. i have to tell the truth no matter what. please sam, please to my beautiful child, please to my mother, to grandma lena, to dennis, to grandpa, to papa, granny, cody, and mellissa. please forgive me. please god forgive me. please give me the strenght to tell the truth.
Trish on February 24 said:
Did you ever have Claire confess to family/friends lies she kept secret when you worked with her?
Mark Tyrrell on February 25 said:
Hi Trish that’s a good question. Actually Claire had the opposite problem in that people in her life had stopped believing anything she said-even when it was true. Many of her lies were so dramatic that they had been uncovered already-which is worse, of course, than owning up to them. For example she had lied about having a terminal illness and all sorts of others things and eventually the truth has a habit of making itself known. She eventually started out a new-moving to a new area, got a new relationship and friends and a job and, the last time I spoke to her, was happy in the relief of enjoying her honesty but whether she has told people in her life she used to lie so much I don’t know.
mpho on March 03 said:
im 22 this year but generaly i consider myself 23. My life spiraled out of control from the day i was born, evrything that could possibly go wrong went wrong, i had a painful childhood and no 1 even noticed what i was going thru because i was quite silent, i was nearly raped and though it ddnt happen but that experience tormented me daily, afta that experience i chose the easy way out, i took evrytng that i wish i could change in my life and i changed it, i hide the truth about my sad life and when a person got close enough to the truth, i move away from them, no one knows the real me except my late grandad who was my real and only confidant, its bn 2 years since hs passing on, till today i struggle to accept that he is gone, my mom and my granma try but they dont realise the depth of my pain, no 1 does..i have a boyfriend whom i totaly adore nd love and i know he loves me too bt a part of me cant let him into my real empty world..im tired of running away from my painful past and now its slowly strtng to catch up on me..
Mpho on March 03 said:
For the past 22 years of my life i have been living a lie, my life spiraled out of control from the day i was born, evrything that could possibly go wrong went wrng, i had a painful childhood nd when i was about 9 years old, i was nearly raped, that experience tormented me evryday of my life, after that i decided to change evrything about my life that had hurt me or caused me pain, and if anyone got close to the truth, i would just move away from them, two years ago i lost the only person who knew me and understood me, my confidant and my best friend, i lost my grandad, i felt an emptiness in my life and thats when my half truths started coming out because i felt alne in the world. My mom and granma try to be there for me but they dnt understand the depth of my pain. I hav been in a serious relationship for the past three years, i love him but i just cant let him into my real life so i push him away and it pains me to see him hurt, weird enough i never had to lie about being sick because i genuinly was sick and i hated it. My life is catching up with me and maybe its time i acceptd it but i just dont know how
Mark Tyrrell on March 04 said:
Hi Mpho well it sounds as if you have been through so much and keeping people at a distance through not fully embracing the truth has been a protection mechanism for you but sometimes what used to work stops working so well and starts to feel more uncomfortable-like shoes that when we start to grow no longer fit and therefore start to feel uncomfortable and its a relief to finally take them off and move on.
You may be experiencing “growing pains” and now may be an excellent time to make new adaptions in your life and be more open with your boyfriend for example. I so sorry to hear about your granddad-you’ll have that level of connection with others in the future too I’m sure (not that he could be replaced I understand). What happened when you were nine was terrible. I hope you have talked to people about that. Anyway please have faith in the future.
All my best
Mark
anonymous on March 20 said:
PRAY TO GOD AND READ AND UTILIZE THE AUDIO ON HYPNOSIS HERE!! ÍT WASN’T EASY HEADING DOWN THIS ROAD AND IT WON’T BE EASY TO COME BACK FROM THE WRONG PATH, BUT GIVE GOD ALL THE GLORY AND DAILY PRAY, MEDITATE AND REMEMBER THE 7 TIPS OFFERED!! AFTER DOING THESE DAILY…ANYONE SHOULD SEE IMPROVEMENT! READING SCRIPTURE ALSO HELPS!!
Rebekah on April 06 said:
I am 15 years old and I have been lying for as long as I can remember. It started with small lies and just turned into me lying to almost everybody I knew and loved. I lie to my parents and my family all the time about the stupidest things. Sometimes I don’t even remember that I had lied. I want to stop lying but I don’t know how to stop. If I stop lying then it can help me make better choices all around. I have been ruining my own life for far too long and hurting the people I love for far too long. I just want to stop lying.
Scott Kynoch on April 19 said:
I dont want to say im a Big Liar but yes i have lied and told a lot of white lies to protect my partner from being hurt. Ive never cheated on her, beat or abused her, but cause ive told these white lies over and over again, i have to realise that i need help in stopping and have no idea how to go about that before i lose her for good..
Help
Tatianna on April 24 said:
I am 17 years old and I have been lying since i was 7 years old. Im am tired of lying and I am tired of it effecting my relationship with my family. My family has been in my corner for the longest and we stick together no matter what but my lying is making the togetherness of this family very uneasy. My father has given up on me completely and the aunt and grandmother that has been by my side no matter what I have done has washed their hands with me also. I am aware that the reason i lie is to make my self look better than what people think of me when they know the truth of my lies. I am in desperate need of help to stop my lying and I hope and pray to regain trust and love from my family. My heart is broken and my mind is filled with guilt and pitty for my loved ones that I have hurt. PLEASE HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS,I WANT TO LIVE THE TRUTH EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE.
Em on April 29 said:
I’m 22 and remember when I first started lying. Pre-k to make myself look good. After that it was mostly self preservation. Emotional, physical, mental. I stopped for a good while when I was 19 but something got me started again. The lies have steadily gotten worse and more elaborate over the years…now I’m in danger of losing my home and fiancé. I can’t stop. If I tell the truth I’ll lose everything anyway…what do I do?
rick on April 30 said:
I have been lying for as long as I can remember also. I could think of excuses to why but those will only set me back further. I’m engaged and now my relationship is on the line and I want to stop. I want to not be a liar and I don’t want to disrespect the women I want to spend the rest of my life with, with lies. I feell like I’m moving forward just writing this…
jim on April 30 said:
i am 21 years old. i my self am a compulsive liar and have been ever since i was a chid, i lived by this excessive behaviour till now. i have spilled and hurt every person in my life especially loved ones. small lies became very big, and big lies well obviously even greater. over the past few months the first time in my life i decided to do something about it. it started slow just thinking while i am talking to someone to stop and think, “this is a situation where i could be dishonest with this person, this is the moment where i would usually say something i’m not.” that mentality has helped me form myself as a growing honest person. i slip every now and then because i get nervous and dont know how to think so i do what i always have done and thats lying. my ex-girlfriend who i am still seeing is suffering because what i have done.i am going to repair the damage i have caused, i wish i could go back in time to the moment we first met, and be the better man i am today, and if i know i’m not good enough then, then i would have left her alone and fixed myself first at least. my love for her is unconditional, she is the best friend, lover, sweetest person i could ever lay eyes on, and i know being honest would make us complete and whole, not building barriers between her and i, i gave her everything except the one thing all she ever asked for. my honesty.
sadsuzie :( on May 02 said:
I lie wayy to much and alot of the time i dont realize it… i have lost all my friends because of this. i want to stop but dont know how. please help.
Nicole on May 19 said:
I don’t remember why or how I started lying, at first it was small things…it got me attention but eventually led to life disaster so I moved and got a new job and started all over! I told lies abou other people and lies about stuff to manipulate people into doing what I wanted..over the years I have gotten so good at it I started lying to the person I love most in the world I have manipulated and destroyed everything I care about…I turned everything so ugly and all with lies to feel better…I wanted him to act a certain way so I lied and pretended to be angry with him so he would do what I wanted..it spread and got worse and worse! Now we have broken up and I blamed it all on him..he is depressed and thinks he messed up when it was all me! I turned my family and friends againt him..I don’t want to run away but telling everyone the truth is something I can’t do…I have tried and then I just end up lying more!! I don’t know how to fix this.
Jeremiah Scott on May 28 said:
I’m 14 and i have been lying ever since i was 7. I just got in trouble today for lying and it wasn’t worth lying about.Lying just comes naturally and i can’t stop.I don’t even think of lying it just blurts out.I’m starting to lose trust in my parents and my friends may notice i lie also.I really need help. I’m starting to lose reason and i keep ruining my life and other peoples lives too!
Jeremiah Scott on May 28 said:
If i just stop lying,people would trust me more and i would make better desicions.I really need help,my life is tearing apart.
Thomas J buckley on May 29 said:
Thank you . I am needing help so badly . All the lies have been depressing me for years . When all along I thought I was making this up so I would not have to tell poeple I am so depressed .
"Gubby" on June 07 said:
i have been reading all sorts of help about this problem, for about 30 minutes. this seems like this could help and i want to say thank you, hopefully this will change me for the better and help me be better for my family, friends and ever loving, ever patient girlfriend!
Mark Tyrrell on June 07 said:
Hi Gubby thanks and I hope it does help you.
All the best
Mark
david ramirez on June 08 said:
I am 14 and I was showing of to a girl that I really liked and wanted to have stuff in common with so when she told me her dad was in Iraq I said mine to, I told her a whole bunch of other lies and today she told me that she thinks I’m not completely telling her the truth. I’ve liked this girl for a really long time but she seems to good for me she is really nice though and defended me when I got picked on. I have also lied to my parents and teachers I need to quit and I’ve tried I just can’t please give me some advice I don’t want to live my life like this I’ve lied since I was really young!
Cortney on June 22 said:
Hi,
My name is Cortney I’m 20 and I’ve been lying for years now. It started out with small things like most people but as I got older and troubles started at home I started lying about more and more things and my lies started to get more complicated. Most of them were to make myself and my life seem better and in a sense I was lying to myself because for the time I was telling the lie I believe it to be true. It wasn’t until I got to high school that my lying caused me to drift from some of my friends and it hurt to know that I had hurt so many people. Now I don’t lie as much but it is still a problem. I try now to stop myself from slipping into a lie or to admit it when I do. I’m leaving for College soon and I really want to be able to have a normal conversation and to know that I’m letting the people I meet get to know the real me so advice and support is really welcomed and I want everyone out there to know that you are not alone and that you shouldn’t hate yourself because it’s a part of who you are. We all have our own struggles to overcome and for us this just happens to be ours but we don’t have to let it control our lives. I wish you all the best of luck and prayers.
Thomas J buckley on June 22 said:
I can not get past this lieing I am 50 nand so lost
KMC on June 23 said:
I am a 16 year old girl who has a problem lying to my parents. I am afraid of the truth because I do not want to mess up me and my dad’s relationship more than it already is. Any further damage would completely ruin our shaky relationship. I do not lie to get attention from people or just out of habit, my anxieties help me believe that lying is the only way out. When I am in a stressful situation, I feel trapped. It is not that I am afraid of the physical consequences of the truth, it is that I am afraid of the effects on my family and friends.
ray on June 25 said:
i am 15 years old and i have been a liar for quite some time now. i chose to live with my dad because my mom lies to me all the time, and yet i always tell the truth to her. anyways, ever since i moved in with my dad, its been lie after lie after lie. my dad always tells the truth 24/7 to me and my brothers. but the question is, how can i stop compulsive lying to everyone? is there someway i can prevent it before it gets worse? i really want to live an honest life. please help me.
Anonymous on June 29 said:
Hello
I am 28 years old, and I have serious lying problem I am trying to stop completely. I am in serious realtionship and all the times that I did lie I was caught. I have been with her for a year and half now and I care for her and love her with all my heart I truly trying to stop. But it is hard. I am talking about she is bringing lies up from last year. And I can see it is tearing her down and I cant stop. Every other word is a lie. But I think I am coming around. But she is afraid she cant trust me. And I am afraid that I am going to loose her. It is so bad I lie to own family about certain things. Is there a less expensive way other tahn going to the congnitive therapy?. Kind of like trying to help ,your self stop it
Elizabeth on June 30 said:
I am 24 and am diagnosed with BPD but I also have a huge problem with compulsively lying. I have destroyed numerous relationships over my lies. I have lied about serious things to either keep or make friends & have done the same with intimate relationships. I am in love with my current boyfriend & he feels the same about me but I need to stop lying for things to work. I am looking for a place to get help with my BPD but I need something to help with my lying because that’s one of our biggest problems. There’s also no way I am going to have a career as a medical assistant if I continue to lie the way I do. So any help you can give I would greatly appreciate.
teefa on July 09 said:
i just lied about where my family comes from and im adopted and im really bad about this every time it comes up i dont know what to say. people play up their heritage and get so proud of it and i have nothing to say so i try to make it minimal
i feel like a compulsive liar sometimes because id ont lie about big things but little things. im honest about my problems but i think im fucked anyway. im the ridiculous kinda liar that lies about everything petty. the kinda liar that makes people wonder why would you lie about that??? i dont even know why i do it. it is just out of control ? what is that even called?
John on July 13 said:
I’ve lied since childhood, not sure why. I have lied about most everything. I tell people who don’t know me lies about where I was born, my job, my income, my education level, my date of birth, just about everything. Along with your advice I now ask out loud if what I said was a lie and correct it if it was. People know I’m honest when I keep checking if I lied and it helps build real relationships with much better people. The worst thing about lying is having to constantly find new places to live and new people to befriend because I lied my way to the point people couldn’t stand my friendship.
Taylor on July 14 said:
I’m 15 years of age right now. I don’t know what is wrong with me but, I always feel the need to lie. I can remember since way back from when I was a child all of the lies I told. It’s embarrassing, I don’t know what to do in order to stop lying. I want to stop really bad and I know it’s seem like an easy thing to do. I feel like a horrible fake person, please help me I’m stuck.
Dani on July 19 said:
i dont know when i started, but i lie compulssivly almost everyday. its gotten to the point that i dont know how to carry on a conversation without tellling ‘stories’. and i do it habitually. which to be frank, scares me. im fourteen.
kristin on July 20 said:
i am 14 years old and i compulsive lier… i have been lying forever and now no one believes me. Not even my own boyfriend.. i needed help..
chazen puzalini on July 20 said:
i am 17 years old and i can remember back to the begining stages of my compulsive lying. As a young man i wanted to always be on top and always have people looking at me like i was the greatest, there-fore cheating. Cheatingreal life by not achiving what i was lyig about. through the years i have become an amazing liar, i can spark up any type of lie for any situaton possible. Now i lie for anything. From extreme lies to make myself look great, to lies where i am trying to keep someone happy. I recently lost the love of my life due to my history of lying. I lied to my girlfriend numerous times aout where i have been, who i was with, and what i was doing. Altough i have never cheated on her, my lyin gives her the sense that i did because i have lied so much she cannot believe me. I now realize that i am a copulsive liar and i need to do everything i can to fix myself and bring my love back to my arms where she belongs.
Karen Thuman on July 26 said:
I am 34 years old and I keep failing…. I cant stop lying and it is effecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I lie because I am afraid I am not interesting enough for people to want to be my friend… But I lose everyone…. I am willing to do anything to stop and hope it is not too late to save me and my relationship.
Tanner on July 26 said:
Hello Mark, I’m 16 now and I have been lying since as long as I can remember. The little things, of course, then the humongous lies ensued. I was never given much attention as a child, (truth) so I began lying to my friends for attention. Eventually, they were huge lies. That I was abused by my parents and living with my brother (not true.) that my other (fictitious) brother died in iraq, and that I was schizophrenic and suicidal, all to get people to turn their heads. Subconsciously, I think this was, not only to gain attention, but to mask a true ugly truth, that I was gay. and keep in mind that I grew (and am currently growing up) in an extremely homophobic town. Eventually, my parents found out my lies through my texts, which resulted in my phone being taken away for years and therapy. The therapy mostly covered how my parents could cope with it, and never covered my lying. I thought I learned, but it continued to my next group of friends. And they were fantastic friends. I weaved intricate stories on how my mom’s ex-husband committed suicide, and how I had a dangerous heart condition. (even faked a heart episode in front of them) This was getting out of hand. Also in the midst of that, I came out to them, which they accepted. Eventually, however, they found out, and everything was ruined. Of course, they thought I was lying about my sexuality as well. I thought everything was over for me, until I read your article, and everyone elses comments, and felt like I was reading a biography of myself. I’m not alone! I want to fix this once and for all. I’m going to be in a new school next year, so I’m starting out with new people, so I want to try my HARDEST to be truthful to them, without them finding out about my sketchy past. Any help is needed, and thank you so much for understanding why we do this.