6 Comments on “How to Stop Compulsive Lying”

dezarae on May 31 said:

I am only 15 years old and I have been lying since…as far back as I can remember.When I was younger, it was little things like telling my friends my dog died so i could attention. Now that I am older its stuff like “I have a horrible disease and I don’t know if I’ll be able to live” and even worse. Telling my boyfriend and friends that I was pregnant, then played the part, until I couldn’t go any further so bailed by saying I had a miscariage. Other people heard and the story turned into I had an abortion. My church heard about it and contacted my step mom. I got caught up in really big lies. I hurt the people around me, and I really really want to stop! I need more help then what I am reading on the internet. I’m ruining my own life.
BRIAN HASSETT on July 20 said:

It was very helpful to me i have been lying about the silliest of things to my friend and this is going to help me to stop doing it thank you
Kelsie on July 23 said:

I know I lie, and most of the people around me know I do it too. I’ve told myself a few times now that I’m going to stop and that I’m going to change. Right now I’m 17, and I’m scared that this habit will never go away. My lies aren’t huge ones, more of just small ones. But now as I’m getting older I’m noticeing that it’s out of hand. I’m in a serious relationship and I want to be honest with him, I know I havne’t been. But we’ve talked about it and he’s agreed to let me try and better myself. I know a lot of my friends won’t let me have that fresh start, but college will be a new ball game. And my goal is to by then be a new person. Put right now it just seems like a huge undertaking and I’m scared I won’t be able to do it. So any advice would be much apricated, and I wish the rest of you out there the best of luck with your own struggles, it’s hard but I believe if we help eachother out that we can all change for the better.
Mark Tyrrell on July 23 said:

Hi Kelsie

My advice is following the advice in the article. I think you should be encouraged by the fact that you really want to be different (many liars don’t care that they lie compulsively) As you say lying rots relationships because if people don’t know when we are lying or being truthful then it’s easier for them to stay away completely.

See College is a transition, a time to leave old habits behind and build honest, fair and decent friendships

Mark
anne on August 01 said:

I’m 16 and I’ve got a real big problem with lying. Its only really started since i fell in love with my boyfriend. Often, he would suddenly act like he didnt care about me, so i made up a variety of different lies such as my parents divorcing, moving abroad and having a life threatening disease. I couldn’t help myself. Once he wouldn’t come and meet me, so I told him I had been kicked out. The next thing i knew, he’d told his parents and they rang my parents and everyone found me out. We are not together anymore but we’re still extremely close. I can tell he doesn’t trust me very much, yet I can’t admit to the things that I did lie about because I am worried what he will think. I’m worried that he wont trust me at all, meaning we would lose contact. I still love him so much, and I never want to lie to him again, but I want to get out of this tangled web without making a fool out of myself. Could you help me out?
Thanks
Kelsie on August 03 said:

anne,

Good news, you know you want to change, and that’s going to be the hardest part. I think instead of trying to just stop completely, get yourself to take lil steps, make some goals for yourself that seem realistic and that you can do.

as for the boy, you can explain things to him and the best way to do that is to be blunt (makes it easier for you not to lie with less words to twist around)he either a) understands and helps you or b) decides that he can’t trust you. Being as we are it’s this vicious cycle of us wanting to be loved and trusted yet we don’t do it the right way. It may turn out that he doesn’t think he can trust you, but you can’t force him to. It may take some time too. I understand it’s going to hurt and it’ll be hard. But if your relationship doesn’t end up working out because of this hold onto this feeling and know that with your next one you’ll be different and honest with him.

i wish you all the best hun, stay strong and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to ask me. your not alone in this you have people that love and trust you.

a friend, Kelsie