It’s late, I’m tired and I need sleep but I’ve just read this article and feel the need to leave a comment, regardless of what anyone might think of it;)
This is a well written, well balanced article that has made me sit up and think about all those opportunities and brilliant ideas that have passed me by. Passed by because I was too busy making decisions based on what I thought others might think - rather than checking out on reality, practicality and feasibility.
A real procrastination busting formula if you ask me.
Thanks Mark
last weekend i put it in practice and i had the best time since 1886 :/. i felt the same passionate interaction with people and the time turned right to the full.
now i just need to exercise it as much till it gets to the rythm of my blood
This is very easy to say, but putting it into practice is very diffacult if you’re a “people pleaser”. How do you deal with those who have an opinion on everything, and tend to gossip and spread their negative disease to so many people they come into contact with?
First of all:Thanks Mark!!!! I just came across this website recently, & downloaded some of the downloads, which i really liked! At age 27 i just started to realize(rather admit) how many issues i have. I probably have all of the social anxieties listed here. But now it taking more of me & my husband, & our marriage. I’m married to wonderful guy. Who loves me.
But i always imagine that every woman wants him, & that he loves attention more than me. But he says it’s his personality, & it doesn’t mean he is cheating or flirting w/others. & deep inside i know he is telling the truth. He has very friendly & loud personality. But everytime we out socializing, my fears & anxieties take over me, my imagination plays tricks on me, i see things that not really happening, it’s like a have this my own believe imaginary world..i get mad at him for being friendly to other wamen, or being loud. I feel like that way he is letting our relationship be volnurable, & letting those women think that he may like them..But he is just being himself.I actually like my husband for who he is, because me & him, we are different. A lot of times i don’t know where i get those fears from. They just come & take over me..I started to think that i can’t take when he is having fun w/others??? I’m so glad i came across this website, & hope may be i can get your opinion.
Hello Bee
Thank you for your encouraging comments regarding the site smile
It seems you have come a long ways already. A little insecurity/jealousy in a relationship is natural and shows there is still love and attraction in that relationship but obviously there can be too much. My advice, if you haven’t already, is to read, absorb and really think about what I’ve written in the ‘7 tips for overcoming jealousy’ article and also the ‘Overcoming insecurity in relationships’ piece.
Great article. I would say I have social phobia…and it does keep me back from doing what I wish to. The biggest thing I notice is what you said about being inward instead of out. My whole house is sometimes in a mess and I don’t even notice it because of how inside of my head I am. I wish I felt as confident as I do after reading this always. I just fear sometimes because my father and grandfather have extreme social anxiety (my pa won’t ever answer an opinion question directly without putting it back on the asker) and I hope it’s not all genetic and regardless of how hard I work it will continue to plague me. Still, I know it’s worthwhile to try my best to kick it for the next generation. And hopefully I will be able to start my business during my lifetime confidently as well.
Thank you for your postive comments and its always good to remember that what can be learnt (from pas and grandpas) can be unlearnt. No gene has ever been found for social phobia. The buck needs to stop somewhere and it might as well be with you.
Thank you very much Mark for this wonderful article - it actually got me very emotional because I finally realised I’m not the only one. I’ve had years of worrying what others thought, and it has stopped me reaching dreams, doing daily activities and made me feel inadequate, stupid and like I wasn’t ever doing the right thing. I’d think in every moment people would be watching me and making a judgment of me for even a tiny thing such as how I sat. Your article opened my eyes to what is happening and what to do, and the exercise was fantastic. Thank you, because I’m going to try my best to stop worrying so much.
Richard Burrow on March 31 said:
It’s late, I’m tired and I need sleep but I’ve just read this article and feel the need to leave a comment, regardless of what anyone might think of it;)
This is a well written, well balanced article that has made me sit up and think about all those opportunities and brilliant ideas that have passed me by. Passed by because I was too busy making decisions based on what I thought others might think - rather than checking out on reality, practicality and feasibility.
A real procrastination busting formula if you ask me.
Thanks Mark
KASHKA on June 16 said:
last weekend i put it in practice and i had the best time since 1886 :/. i felt the same passionate interaction with people and the time turned right to the full.
now i just need to exercise it as much till it gets to the rythm of my blood
Joyce Clemmons on October 30 said:
This is very easy to say, but putting it into practice is very diffacult if you’re a “people pleaser”. How do you deal with those who have an opinion on everything, and tend to gossip and spread their negative disease to so many people they come into contact with?
bee on January 29 said:
First of all:Thanks Mark!!!! I just came across this website recently, & downloaded some of the downloads, which i really liked! At age 27 i just started to realize(rather admit) how many issues i have. I probably have all of the social anxieties listed here. But now it taking more of me & my husband, & our marriage. I’m married to wonderful guy. Who loves me.
But i always imagine that every woman wants him, & that he loves attention more than me. But he says it’s his personality, & it doesn’t mean he is cheating or flirting w/others. & deep inside i know he is telling the truth. He has very friendly & loud personality. But everytime we out socializing, my fears & anxieties take over me, my imagination plays tricks on me, i see things that not really happening, it’s like a have this my own believe imaginary world..i get mad at him for being friendly to other wamen, or being loud. I feel like that way he is letting our relationship be volnurable, & letting those women think that he may like them..But he is just being himself.I actually like my husband for who he is, because me & him, we are different. A lot of times i don’t know where i get those fears from. They just come & take over me..I started to think that i can’t take when he is having fun w/others??? I’m so glad i came across this website, & hope may be i can get your opinion.
Mark Tyrrell on January 31 said:
Hello Bee
Thank you for your encouraging comments regarding the site smile
It seems you have come a long ways already. A little insecurity/jealousy in a relationship is natural and shows there is still love and attraction in that relationship but obviously there can be too much. My advice, if you haven’t already, is to read, absorb and really think about what I’ve written in the ‘7 tips for overcoming jealousy’ article and also the ‘Overcoming insecurity in relationships’ piece.
All the very best
Mark
Charlie on April 28 said:
Great article. I would say I have social phobia…and it does keep me back from doing what I wish to. The biggest thing I notice is what you said about being inward instead of out. My whole house is sometimes in a mess and I don’t even notice it because of how inside of my head I am. I wish I felt as confident as I do after reading this always. I just fear sometimes because my father and grandfather have extreme social anxiety (my pa won’t ever answer an opinion question directly without putting it back on the asker) and I hope it’s not all genetic and regardless of how hard I work it will continue to plague me. Still, I know it’s worthwhile to try my best to kick it for the next generation. And hopefully I will be able to start my business during my lifetime confidently as well.
Mark Tyrrell on April 29 said:
Hi Charlie
Thank you for your postive comments and its always good to remember that what can be learnt (from pas and grandpas) can be unlearnt. No gene has ever been found for social phobia. The buck needs to stop somewhere and it might as well be with you.
All my best
Mark
Cherie on May 09 said:
Thank you very much Mark for this wonderful article - it actually got me very emotional because I finally realised I’m not the only one. I’ve had years of worrying what others thought, and it has stopped me reaching dreams, doing daily activities and made me feel inadequate, stupid and like I wasn’t ever doing the right thing. I’d think in every moment people would be watching me and making a judgment of me for even a tiny thing such as how I sat. Your article opened my eyes to what is happening and what to do, and the exercise was fantastic. Thank you, because I’m going to try my best to stop worrying so much.
