I have a question and no one to ask. I am a very high strung person (child of an alcoholic mother) I wake up and I start going. Non stop. I have had so many negative things happen to me I dont know which I would even start with. Oh yeah, I was last of eight children, that went to a Strict Catholic School. So abuse was right up there.
My problem, and I know you are not going to believe me..Everyone thinks I have it together. I have a very fast witted sense of humor. I should have probably gone in that job direction. But,I have gone to a Therapist who told me he enjoyed my appointments because I could make him laugh. My dentist takes forever doing my teeth because he likes to talk to me. My doctor likes me. I have been told by the best that “I have all the tools, I just need to learn how to use them”. Well now too many bad events have taken place and I am laughed out. I now cry at least 5 times a week. They changed my job from no fault of my own and I am miserable. My 19 year old son is trying. But by no means is he of help. In the past month I have fixed his car three times. I am out of money. I used to laugh so hard my face and teeth hurt. Now I am not doing that. I have the tools and skills to fix myself but I dont want to. Is this Pity? There is nothing I can say I look forward to. I love my son, and my dog and all my friends and I know not to hurt my self. But what if you just dont want to play anylonger. I dont want to go to work. I dont want to clean the house. I dont want to do anything. Medications I am on:
Trazadone,to sleep, Xanax to calm myself down and I just started Effexor. I dont remember to take those. And the lowest dose of Effexor is like speed to me. It make me grind my teeth and feel like I am coming out of my skin. My question? What can I do to fix this? Oh yeah, I am a 48 year old female.
I see you posted your comment on the 1st of March. How sad that nobody has taken the time to answer you.
First of all, my heart goes out to you. I know what it is like to be the kind of person that everyone believes has no problems, you feel very alone when people don’t believe you or help you when you finally drum up the courage to ask.
Secondly, I believe you have come to the right place with Uncommon Knowledge. Stay with this site and you will find some sollutions. I am a therapist and have just begun a course in Hypnotherapy because it has helped me so much, I want to use it to help others now. It can help you too. And I know that you probably want a shoulder to lean on right now, but the only person that can help you, is you.
Just to let you know, I am 55 and have a long history of alowing people to walk all over me. A very capable person but somehow I always ended up with the wrong one. As I said, self-hypnosis is how I am getting myself out of this, it can work for you too.
Lona I’m so sorry I missed your comment and thank you Ann for supplying an answer. Of course there is no one solution. We all need an array of solutions in order for life to feel meaningful and enjoyable. Certainly regular rest, and, as Ann suggested, constructive hypnotherapy can help you both feel motivated to meet your basic emotional needs: http://tinyurl.com/2ctxejk and begin to adopt the actions required for you to feel better. But feeling better is also, of course, about overcoming past hurts. Please message me privately (by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ icon on the top right hand side of the home page) any time and perhaps we can discuss this.
You’ve got a wise approach and helpful to the layperson seeking advice.
There are numberous on-line therapy sites. Is you site used for one-on-one therapy. Private and not open to blogs and comments? If not, do you recommend any that my friend might try?
I have a question, I have been diagnosed with PRSD, MDD, OCD AND PANIC/ANXIETY, I read in your article where it said lack of interest in sex, can it be that a nervous breakdown is also associated with being promiscuous to the point of loseing focus of everything else in ones life?
Stress often dampens down sex drive but sometimes people may use the escapism of casual sex as a distraction from massive anxieties in the same way that heavy drinking may be an instinctive attempt to escape a troubled mind.
I recently had a nervous breakdown, I am a type a people pleaser, and many times I try to please others while I know it is going against what is being true to myself. During the past year I lost my job, my car, my home, agreed to move cross country so my husband could acheive his career knowing full well I did not want to leave my children and grandchildren and friends on the east coast. The move cost even more loss finacial ruin sold most of what was valuable to myself and now my husband has a job where he only comes home 2 days out of 9 day on the road. I have been on medication, and he promised that as soon as he could aford it we will move back to the east. In the mean time I feel nothing but despair. My daughter recommended a gratitude journel of three things each day andf why I am grateful , she just shared this with me and it seems simple and worth the shot. What I learned in all this is to be true to myself learn to say no and it is ok to say no sometime for ones serenity.
I am a 39 y o wf experiencing severe anxiety and depression symptoms for the past 2 yrs. I cried when i read your post. It is eeirily similar to my own experience. I have been seeing a therapist for over 18 months, as well as taking all meds prescribed for me. I have had some brief times of partial relief, but keep sinking down to that overwhelming feeling of no longer being able to function, over & over. I have not at any point gotten well enough to even consider myself even a tiny bit happy. The guilt is overwhelming, as i have three children who cant comprehend what has become of the mom they used to have. Also for some unknown reason i am able to keep up appearances at work. All still believe im the same cheerful gal i used to be! Its exhausting! The worst part is feeling unable to complete even the simplest of tasks like laundry, dinner, or going to supermarket. Just wanted to say youre not alone
I’m a almot 48 years of age. My husband left about 6 years ago with my two girls. He said he just couldn’t talke all the finacial pressure, the girls acting up, no money, he was depressed which runs in his family and also mine. Jut the past two weeks, I fell at work so I’m not on workmans comp and am totally broke…my automible insurance just sent m a letter sating that I was cancelld because i missed a payment. I’m going to be going through my divorce starting this week with the help of my father. I’m also losing my home which I have to get out and look for an apartment like yesterday..My head feels like its going to explode..never stops..can’t sleep at all, in pain pysically and emotional. Any help on certain meds to jut get through one of the million speed bumps I hit in my life. I’m just totally exhausted Thank you for time..Shelly Chenowith
I’m concerned because I think I may have had or may be undergoing a nervous breakdown. I’m usually, or at least i was a very active, independent, and happy person but things have changed. Basically in the past 6 months I’ve had a combination of sudden, drastic changes in my health, finances, and because of a specific event i cannot talk to my friends anymore, i cant participate in volunteer activities that i spent 100+ hours a month in, and a relationship suddenly ended. As all of this was happening some well meaning family members tried to help by getting me to move cross country, trying to negotiate a resolution to the above matters against my will(but not including me in any of the decisions). It seems that I’ve lost everything important to me and the independence of making my own decisions, which to me at 20 is important to me. Needless to say I’ve been very sad lately, i have abnormal sleeping patterns, a major change in my appetite, feelings of worthlessness, crying, thoughts of suicide, etc. last night I suddenly got really sad, started crying and had thoughts of suicide. This morning I felt the same way, i didnt feel like getting out of bed, but i did and the smallest thing caused me major irritation. so i went in my room sat down and started watching tv. But a family came into my room asked me if I felt like doing something and I said no. To this she replied get up come on and do it. We had a minor argument AND I basically just asked her to leave me alone. An hour later they decided they wanted to “talk” i told them this really wasnt a good time ant that i didnt feel like talking. i felt that during this talk i was being attacked, i wasnt allowed to finish statements finally i just started screaming uncontrollably. does it sound like i am having a nervous breakdown?
The important thing to remember is that the term nervous breakdown is a metaphor. People don’t really breakdown but we can all feel exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes. So much has happened to you that there would be something “wrong” with you if you didn’t feel a bit overwhelmed right now. But as life starts to straighten out again you’ll feel better perhaps much quicker than you expected The hardest thing to do but the best thing to do is get out of bed and do stuff. The more you mull, ruminate and worry the worse you’ll feel but activity can offset this. Please find people you can talk to who are sympathetic and on-judgemental. And feel free to privately message me by using the ‘contact Mark’ button at the top of the page.
I beleive their is such a thing as a nervous breakdown, when you feel like you are no longer important, has anyone ever felt like they are falling down a large black hole and everything is dark but you have to drag yourself back to the top or you will drown. It is truely terrible, everything people have said on this site I can relate to. Point is what to do, maybe take medications that have bad side effects, or just see a professional, both perhaps, but why do we go through this. My theory is you have to pull yourself through with strength and courage that we all have deep down, all of us have been through some sort of abuse in one way or another. So to everyone out there I feel your pain as it is also mine. I am learning to be gentle with myself if I dont want to go outside I dont, if I feeel a little stronger I do but I dont push myself I go with my feelings also I try to change my thought patterns mostly if something bad happens I now say to myself okay I can and I will get through this I will tackle this when I feel strong enough. Last Xmas I tried to kill myself so I really do know how low you can feel at times, three times in my life I have felf this horrible feeling at the moment am trying to pull myself through once again. So peace be with you all remember the quote you are a child of the universe no lesser than the trees and the stars you have a right to be here. Be gentle with yourself.
I am a 35 yr old mother/wife.Where do i begin ? well 6 yrs ago I was in a car accident w/my 2 beautiful daughters(all 3 of us were just passengers.My 1st ex-husband was the the one driving our car(WHOM I REGRETFULLY WAS BACK TOGETHER WITH AT THE TIME)-Anyways,a roadrager t-boned our car&instantly; killed my 4yr old daughter.To this day after i begged TV TO LET THE PUBLIC KNOW THAT AN UNIDENTIFIED PERSON IN PICK-UP PURPOSELY hit my car/fled after murdering my child-he HAS NEVER BEEN CHARGED FOR MY DAUGHTER’S DEATH.After our local t.v. news aired my story, the next day while my daughter’s wake was beginning-a very close cop& dear friend informed WHO THE OTHER DRIVER WAS&that; he turned himself in with 2 other accomplices. AFTER THAT my life HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME.My parents&siblings; blamed ME-4 the death of my baby girl.I went thru REHAB/TRTMNT #2-on my own.Plus my family started gossiping MORE,ETC they got WORSE.I have NO CONTACT WITH THEM STILL TO THIS DAY.I NO longer work becuz of the guilt I feel not spending time with her like i should have.Then my 1st ex did 5 1/2 yrs & was just released.Not even a week after being free-he started calling CPS&SAYING; THAT I BEAT MY CHILDREN&SELL;-OR DO DRUGS.He started txtng/talking to my 2 oldest(whom he’s bloodrelated&NEVER; TOOK CARE OF)AND HE BRAINWASHED them&had; CPS put them in FOSTER CARE.And guess where they went?My parents!!!And then 4 days ago our 1st family pet we had(pretty orange cat) was killed/hit by a car.I just dont know-understand WHY SOMEONE LIKE ME HAS BEEN THRU THE RINGER & continue to be “picked-on to NO END”? MY KIDS&HUSBAND; R THE ONES WHO GIVE ME THE STRENTH 2 KEEP LIVING.I cry,cry,cry everyday. How MUCH MORE CAN I POSSIBLY TAKE? EVERYBODY HAS A BREAKING POINT& i think i’ve reached mine.If I didn’t have my husband I don’t think I’d be typing this tonight. And by the way-5 1/2 months ago my husband had a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK&WAS; DECLARED DEAD FOR 7 mins.&then; thank the lord he came back!!And that day was EXACTLY A #1 MONTH ANNIV. to which we buried my husband’s father(my father-inlaw) to a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK.I just know that I will be hospitalized,etc.I have a very big heart&think; that tends 2 be my downfall.I DO BLAME MYSELF EVERYDAY.does anyone have any advice ?please tell me- BAD OR GOOD.
Sorry but I forgot a couple more things. I am also seeing a therapist as well as my husband.And after my mom had 4 strokes in March my dad called me&told; me my mom will be"lucky enuf to be around ANOTHER YEAR CAUSE SHE REFUSES TO QUIT SMOKING”.And-my mother has been having a OPEN AFFAIRw/another man for the last 12 yrs? And she was helping my ex-husband to STEAL MY CHILDREN!HOW AND WHY WOULD A “mother” do that to her OWN FLESH&BLOOD;? MY MOM LIED TO ME,USED ME,AND STOLE MY KIDS RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.AFTER I WAS STUPID/NAIVE ENUF to give her another chance she did this.I left her a voicemail the night my kids were dragged away & told her 35 yrs of her shitty parenting-I NEVER WANT TO SEE/HEAR HER EVER AGAIN. It wasnt easy but what OTHER CHOICE DID/DO I HAVE ? i ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION-she was in&out; of a mental institution when I was growing up.So u see-I never had a mom.My grandma raised me.Thank-God!!! Can anyone understand-“THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING.” I would very much appreciate feedback.
You certainly have been through the ringer in all kinds of ways. It reminds me of the expression “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. You have your husband and kids, as you say, and they give you strength but also there must be something inside of you that has enabled you to keep on keeping on through all of this. It will be good for you to really think about that part of yourself and also make sure you meet your needs for rest and social connection to good people. It also sounds like you are over-due some good luck. Follow the ideas in the article as much as possible and remember the really precious and polished stones are the ones that have been churned around the most by the sea
Hi, this is what I would do for now. Stop taking the sleep medication, and use the xanaxx to sleep.take one before bed,between the sleep meds and the xanax your in a fog, then the speed gets you going till your exhausted, I would tell my doctor about the speed med and have him change it. Try it, I think it might help.
I don’t know what you’re talking about whatsoever ....I think you’re confused or your comment was MEANT FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. BECAUSE WHAT U COMMENTED TOO ME DOESN’T MAKE A BIT OF SENSE UNLESS-you’re being INSENSITIVE & RUDE. In which I hope NOT because those of us who do come on here and pour out very personal things DO NOT NEED ANY UNNECESSARY GARBAGE.
Sorry I don’t remember what a URL is, so I can’t give you that information just now.
I know I am under enormous stress, As a 75 year old woman who has metastatic breast cancer I’m getting good treatment at Stanford Univ. Cancer center in Palo Alto CA. I had a lumpectomy in 2003 followed by a Parathyroidectomy the following month so I could receive the Chemo and radiation required. Even though I had 21 positive lymph nodes, and a tumor 5 centimeters in size, I have lived for almost 8 years. Two years ago, they found it had migrated to my liver, and it seems I have a growing lesion and they want to try a new chemo pill now.
In July of this year, my long time therapist only 61 years old was suddenly felled by two brain hemorrhages and in a coma for 11 days. I had no idea what had happened to her for five long weeks and went crazy not knowing. Her husband finally phoned me to let me know, and she was able to speak to me two weeks later, though she’s not the same person. Two days later, I got the news that my best friend of 70 years had died, and many others have met the same fate or are very sick. That’s when my asthma kicked in, and I am having anxiety attacks now as well. You’ve given me some hope that I can get back on track and see the light at the end of the tunnel again. I became a good artist during those 8 long years gilding on glass, and starting a note card company using all my own original art,,,it doesn’t seem important now. I was appointed to the Arts & Culture Commission last March and love that. I know I need some help !
Haleyamber, when I read Ally’s comment, I too thought it was very insensitive. I ran into a person, who basically told me, You can do this and that, and you will be cured. It is NOT that easy to mend a broken Heart. Mark is truely correct in saying you have been through alot of turmoil, and to say it can be fixed easily is ridiculous. My heart goes out to you. I too have a horrible past, I am not over by any means, and may never be completely over it. However one thing that has helped me is my complete trust in God, he never intends for us to waste a hurt. by your Mom being so cruel to you, it has made you a better mom and a better person (intentionally NOT doing what she has done) I pray you have a bible, this chapter has helped me more than anything Isiaih 61, in particular Isiaih 61:1-4
The effexor will help soon. You may even have a hormonal problem from menopause. I am 44 and am going through it myself. I cry everyday for months at a time
Diana thank you for your message it seems as if you have been through so much but I also detect you are a woman of real substance and humantity. I’m not surprised you’ve been having axiety episodes. Please feel free to contact me privately under the ‘contact Mark’ tab at the top of the page. If I can help in any way I will
You sound just like me! I’d love to talk to you if you would like. I’m a 45 year old female, on medications, have more energy than the Energizer Bunny, nobody would ever guess how miserable I am. I have a great sense of humor too and make people laugh. I’m the oldest of 3, from a single parent family
im a 39 year old mother of 3 kids, 13, 6, and 5, the youngest also had autisim, i feel so fed up with my life, the other night i went to the toilet, just got there and all hell breaks loose again, the youngest bite his sister so the oldest started on him and pulled his hair to get him off her, all the screaming just got too much for me and i found myself on the bathroom floor in tears, i must have been there for a while, i couldnt breath through my nose and couldnt even get up from the floor, this has never happened to me before, im worried im having a beakdown, im on my own with my kids and dont have a life without them, i feel im a bad mum who should know better than to get into this state but i had no control over it and cant handle the thought of it ever happening again, my kids need me and i them too, please somebody tell me what was this and why, i have never felt like that before and dont want to again
Thank you Michelle for sharing this with us and please be assured that feeling like you’re at breaking point or even having a nervous breakdown sometimes certainly doesn’t make you a bad mum. With all the stress it would be strange if you didn’t sometimes feel like this. I really hope you have people to help you in your life and if I can be of any help what so ever contact me by using the button at the top right of the page. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.
All the very best and here’s looking to a better New Year.
I’m very pleased that you have been checked medically and also that you have your dad to talk to. Certainly stress can make you feel faint. This can happen when we over breath and is also more likely to occur when you know it’s a symptom of something. And stress and tension can also make us ache all over and feel stiff as a result too.
hi again
you have put my mind at rest quite alot because last week i went to the doctor and they said i had no symptoms of meningitus and i do have a understanding adult to talk to because my dad has suffered with anxiety and depression and he was near a nervous break down and my dad says he got symptoms like i did and when you said you thought you had symptoms all the time when you were 12 and you are right it will pass it did 2 years ago and im actualy getting better help than i was before but there are just times when i feel desperate and times when i feel really calm like i have my ups and downs but there is 1 thing i still want to know can stress make you feel realy faint and have stiff muscles anyway thanks ill see how it goes from here
Hello folks I’m sorry I’ve been away from my computer for too long. Debbie of course I can understand the temptation to drink alcohol but because of how it affects sleep it will make you even more tired. It’s really important you talk to someone who will actually listen and you need to relax of course. I hope you can take the time to do something for yourself which you enjoy and find restful. Please feel free to post here again and we’ll do all we can.
Sam I’m really sorry to hear about all the setbacks you’ve had but it’s good, I think, that you recognize so clearly what you do need (so many people know they don’t feel right but don’t know what they are missing) I know that may be small comfort but it is so important http://tinyurl.com/55px8 We all need to meet our basic emotional needs as best we can in the situation we are in. That situation may not feel ideal but there are always ways to meet them as best we can-again feel free to post here too.
Josh it’s always best to have any medical concerns checked out by a medical doctor and we all need to be sensible with our health. So I advise you if you are worried to ask to see your doctor. But also it is easy to convince ourselves we have symptoms and even to feel as if we really have them when we don’t. This isn’t really a symptom of a nervous breakdown but more to do with very specific health worries. When I was 12 I used to worry about all kinds of medical issues and feel all kinds of symptoms too and all that will pass. I hope you have an understanding adult to talk to Josh. It will all get better with time and it’s important that you learn to relax more. When you feel anxious listen to the relaxation recording on this article and get into the habit of taking control-when you breath, breath a bit slower and breath out slightly more slowly than you breath in this will help you calm down very quickly : )
hi
im josh i am 12 and for the past month i have had severe
anxiety it all started off as a fear of being sick because 2 years ago when i was 10 i was sick and it set off a phobia about being sick but after about 6 months it went but then september 2010 it came back but from december 21st to this day i have had severe anxiety and lately i have been having symptoms of a nervous break down and lately i have been geting stiff arms and legs aswell as achey arms and legs plus in my neck as well but yesterday i felt realy faint and today i have been feeling faint and because a little girl died of meningitus in my home town im scared that i have meningitus so when i get stiff arms and legs because that it a symptom of meningitus i sometimes have panick attacks worrying that i have it so i want to know is it normal geting stiff and achey arms and legs and feeling faint and dizzy plus head aches is it all the symptoms that you get when you have stress please can somebody put my mind at rest and tell me i feel so alone
im not sure if im having a nervous breakdown or not but i have moved from poole in dorset to bracknell in berkshire i had a full time job in poole and i had a purpose i have suffered with depression and anxiety for 22 years when i was working i felt really good now in bracknell im really struggerling to find a job ther are no jobs here i felt alive in poole i feel very depressed tearful all the time i am so unhappy i cant eat or sleep and cry myself to sleep every night i wish someone would help me i miss my dad he died 3 years ago i keep asking him for help i just feel like walking and never stopping.
I NEED HELP WITH ANXIETY,DEPRESSION AND AM TURNING TO ALCHOL. I have not been able to find a therapist to listen and have no friends. Family is worthless and my 2nd husband does not card or understand.
Does one think they hear things, such as someone in the house, when suffering from a nervous breakdown? I have been under a tremendous amount of stress. Relationship problems, work/job problems, life has really been tough during the past year. Please help.
be assured that with high levels of stress come all kinds of symptoms that can seem “weird” but which disappear when you get proper rest and calm.
Certainly one sign of a nervous breakdown might be “hyper vigilance” a feeling either that something bad is about to happen or even that there is someone in the house. It’s as if the mind sometimes has to create things to justify that level of stress. Maybe you haven’t been sleeping so well (and are therefore closer to the dream state when you are awake) or perhaps just very “jumpy”. This doesn’t mean that you are “going crazy” just that you need to relax and rest.
All the very best and I hope things improve for you soon-it’s important to really look after yourself.
I’m really sorry to hear how tough things have been for you, especially lately it sounds. Three kids under four would be a real struggle for anyone I think. Remember a ‘nervous breakdown’ is a metaphor it’s not even a real diagnoses and it just means ‘feeling overwhelmed’. Nothing is going to ‘break’ but you might feel exasperated and exhausted sometimes (which means at other times you won’t so much). It’s important to remember this. You have obviously got a great deal of strength which, with the support of your husband, will see you through. Follow the ideas in the article and make sure you meet your human needs for rest, relaxation and adult company as best you can being such a bus mom. Your kids are all under four right now but IT WILL GET EASIER. Please don’t lose heart. Seek out support from friends and tell people what you need-it’s no crime to feel over whelmed sometimes.
Hi…I am a 30yr old female with three kids 4years old and under! I have had a huge change in my life lately. I have lost my entire family because I wanted to raise my children without so much pressure and judgement. I had to move in with my mother in law! It’s been horrible. I have been an abuser of pain killers for several years now. Here lately my dose increased way more than ever. I decided to clean out my system and flipped out. I have always had some mental issues. The doctors didnt know if it was bipolar or PTSD. Now I am left feeling very sad and alone. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any insurance and can’t go to the DR. My main concern is I am having a nervous breakdown. I have felt like going to the hospital more than once in the last week and telling them I am maybe losing my mind. I can’t concentrate and I keep having the over whelming feeling to run out the house screaming for help. The problem is there is no one to help. I have children that need me to be the “mommy” I use to be. I feel like they are suffering and so is my love life. My husband is amazing and I couldn’t ask for more help or a better partner. He is the one that gets all the backlash from my flip outs. I am lost and scared I will be that way forever without proper help!! Please tell me what I can do for help!
Hi, I am a 38 year old single mum who has a long history of depression, and PTSD. I am so fed up of smiling at the world, yet crying on the inside. There is nothing I can say I look forward to. I love my daughter and she is the only reason that keeps me going each day. I guess being a single parent i have no choice but to wipe the tears and pretend that everything is okay when actually on the inside i dont want to go on. Its been 22 long years struggling with feelings of hopelessness and as i write this i feel as though i am spiralling down that all familiar deep dark pit, where i will be held a prisoner for however long it takes. Im scared to reach that place again…....
I dont want the drugs anymore because of the nasty side effects they have on me. I just dont know what to do.
I hope you can find some use in the ideas in this article. Remember although we use the words nervous breakdown we never just breakdown completely it’s just descriptive for that time where we feel overwhelmed for a while. People bounce back even when they don’t think or believe they will. Maybe instead of “spiraling down that deep dark pit” this time you can hang on and drag yourself out quicker. I hope you have support, people to talk to and help. It’s important you eat right, rest as much as you can and not panic about feeling so bad because it will pass. All my best
Mark
I am a 56-year-old woman, and I have all of the symptoms of an emotional breakdown. I have NO support system. Was wondering if you could suggest someone to talk to via the telephone? Thank you.
I really wish someone would help me im 35 and i feel like im losing my mind i worry constantly i am so depressed im afraid im getting to the point to where i wanna die im so lonely i lost my friends and girl friend cause i dont like doing things anymore i need guidence.
Hello Pete please be assured that I’ll do anything I can for you. One of the worst things about feeling depressed is the feeling of being out of control and the feeling that solving problems (even stuff you’d normally be able to solve) are like insurmountable mountains. I suggest you read our ‘Depression Learning Path’ http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/ both to understand exactly why depression makes you feel like that and to give you hope that it can and will lift. You can also contact me by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ button at the top hand right of this page. Don’t lose heart Pete, Mark
Please go online and you can email the Samaritins. Or please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline 18002738255. If only to talk to a nice human being. That helps so much. Just to know our Heavenly Father works through good people. I know. I have really suffered and felt that way and went to the local Police Station and felt stupid; but their humanity and care of the ambulance drivers was life-changing. I have never read the Bible through and through or go to church anymore, but I do believe in God. God works through people please call someone. Someone who DOES NOT know you; they will mean well butwill invariably judge or project on to you. Good Luck. You will laugh again.
I am only 14 so the first symptom on you list dosn’t apply to me, but the rest do and i think i’m haveing a nervous breakdown, my life lately has been falling apart due to all of my friendships suddenly ending at once, and exam and homework stress, but your audio has helped for the time being and i would like to thank you for that
I hope this message finds you feeling much more energized (in a positive way) and on the road to recovery very soon. You mention your age, have you seen your family physician or gynecologist lately and explained these symptoms? As I read through, I am considering also if you are experiencing depression more so than a break-down. I say this in reference to materials that I have read and television commercials regarding depression.
I am (55) and have not experienced great changes physically since the onset of menopause and my last cycle, but of late I have experienced heightened anxiety and that is something I am not going to tolerate if possible. By that, I mean that I am finally going to start reading more in this area and looking more actively into positive therapy, hopefully without the aid of drugs as my metabolism happens to be one of those that does not tolerate medications very well, and perhaps that is a good thing. Also, I like to gt to the source and handle it as opposed to masking the situation - again, when possible. I am a tee-totaler and have always been and I am a woman of strong faith, all of which I am sure benefit my being greatly. I, on the other hand have not been to my gyno, I have nodules on my thyroid and need to consent to surgery, and I began menopause around (5) years ago, so I am sure that these issues play a role in the symptoms that I have experienced of late. Given drastic changes, I really think that this is hormonally induced in some manner…hormones are great when working properly, but I have come to dilike them greatly when they are not working properly. Your son needs you, you need you most of all, and your pet and others need you. Don’t stop with one diagnosis,talk with experts in the field of mental and physical health, keep moving forward, and know that help and hope are always available for the asking. I will also note that two great faith-based ministeries targeting sound mind and body are Joyce Meyer Ministeries, and Joel Osteen Ministeries.
My call is advocating safety and wellbeing for at-risk children, with particular FOCUS on the vulnerable and defenseless albino children of africa. Although it can prove mentally taxing, it is the passion/vision/mission of my heart and I strive toward the goal of being there for my dear children number, and for the good of my call unto others. Please feel free to respond if you would like.
My prayers for you for freedom, direction, and peace.
I had a city prosecutor bring charge after charge against me that none of the charges had merit, it was a vendetta against me, the stress of all the going on was bad but when it went to trial, my neighbor who had conspired with the city prosecutor didn’t want to commit perjury, so he recanted everything and it was dropped. We had talked about doing a CMU wall and would need permission to do clean up on the neighbor side and that is all we talked about but on May 01 2008 I received a letter from my attorney with a letter the prosecutor sent to him, tell me I had until May 31 2008 to complelte the wall. I called my attorney, told him we didn’t have the money to do the wall, he said “You either do the wall or go to jail” I knew that I didn’t agree to do the wall to have the charges dropped but it didn’t matter this prosecutor could do anything. I did the wall but when I was afraid I was going to be thrown in jail because I hadn’t met the May 31 date, I worked on this wall until 3:00am and got up at 5:30am went to work and was working 6 days a week 70 to 80 and working on this wall, I did this for about a month and ended up with a blow up at work and quit. I had nervous backdown, now because I am putting so much stress on my wife I fear she is headed for a back down all because of a unlawful harassment by a city prosecutor.
i just dont want to go on anymore. ive had a lot of bad things happen to me too. no one likes me. no one has ever liked me. i am all alone and miserable and bitter. i hate the people i work with. i hate my job. nothing matters to me anymore. i just want it to stop. i wont hurt myself. im shocked that images pop into my head of me killing myself and hurting others. i would never act on these thoughts and i want them to stop. i just want it all to end.
I know anything I say might sound glib but so many people come back from where you are at the moment and feel stronger and become more fulfilled. Keep on keeping on. I’m glad you say you won’t act on any of these thoughts. Watch out for that “all or nothing/black or white” thinking and cherish and nurture hope however small and it will grow and become stronger.
it all started when doctor put me on blood pressure meds, then i started with a- fib, so 2 cardio versions that did not take care of the problem, then my oxygen levels dropped and ended up with pneumonia wellll that was a fright of my life. if anyone has ever had steroid induced psycosis you know what i went through. next step go to u of m med center pnemonia again. went back a month later to have a pacemaker put in. oh i forgot somewhere in there i was told i have copt. now im on oxygen, so get checked for sleep apnea. yep that to. believe or not am now feeling pretty good until 1/4/11 when i slipped and fell and fractured my wrist/followed by surgery 1plate 6 pins.today is the worse day i cannot stop crying. ANY SUGGESTIONS
It sounds as if you have been through so much! Tears help lower stress levels in the blood stream so some crying may be your body’s way of easing stress so let yourself do it but when it’s happened enough the important thing is not to dwell on what’s been happening more than is necessary. Think about before your fell-you were feeling better right? I’m guessing that’s because you were focusing your mind outward again feeling more confident and calmer? Because you know how to do that your mind will be able to get back there soon especially if you focus on the ideas in the spotting nervous breakdown symptoms article.
Today may feel bad but it will get better and perhaps sooner than you expect : )
I feel like you are my mirror! OMG I am same age and used to be the same way “the laugher”. I have a daughter who is 21 who has a 3 year old and they are living with me. My daughter makes the messes nevermind help clean them. I am not on medication and God only knows why because sometimes I feel like I am going to crack. All I do is clean, clean, spend, spend (money that I don’t have), work, work and bitch and bitch. It’s not pity it’s being overwhelmed. How much can one person do? And no one GETS it. And they don’t care. As long as your doing for them that’s all that matters. I love my house and where it is, but I have been so tempted to sell it and get a shack so I don’t have so much to clean, repair, maintain and pay for. My job pays pretty low, but I have good health insurance (for now) and I am in the final stages of treatment for lymphoma (that is a good thing) so I can’t change, and who wants to hire a sick 48 year old who can’t even manage her life? I guess you just get through it. This too shall pass?
Hello cat and thank you for sharing your story here. It’s so important to at least take account of your own human needs because you’re not just a “device” to help other people meet their needs regardless of your own. It seems that you do have some genuine life options to consider, that there is room for movement. All the very best wishes, Mark
I was sexually abused by my best friend.
we had been mates for years since infant school played evry night together for years.
Me and Jack went out for a drink and i got slaughted, he took me home and buggered me senseless, he had me bending this way that way some of it barely legal!
jack then commited suicide the day after why did he do this to me?
nice article…a great way of explaining a nervous breakdown - without making you feel like you are going crazy…sometimes people just need time out when things get too much…time out for yourself and noone else…a bit like re-charging your batteries when they are flat..people need to re-charge themselves as well - and if possible try avoiding medications and turn to natural therapies - reiki, massage, yoga, meditation…
This is for “anonymous on April 02” I could have written everything you did. It is exactly how I feel today, and yesterday, and the day before, etc. I am about to lose my friend of 20 years, the only person who really knows who I am and is still my friend. She has 3 children under the age of 12. Cancer will take her soon, when I have been the one praying for death for years. I wanted so badly to pull out in front of a large telephone repair truck this morning. I just want the pain to stop. I did get on an antidepressant last year when my friend was first diagnosed, but since the cancer has done nothing but got worse, to the point of being told she has months, the medication doesn’t do shyte. I have recently gotten a therapist, and honestly, I think bringing up some of the things I haven’t talked about in 9 years has made me crash to the point where I just had to look at my dog this morning and say, If I killed myself today, my misery would be over, but my pets misery would just begin, because it’s too hard to find good permanent homes for pets as is. I don’t like the comment that Mark made about “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” because that’s not true. But I did like the comparison of people who go through the most are like the best pieces of glass washed repeatedly by the ocean. Sadly, this piece of glass need to get out of the ocean of life and be on a quiet beach for a while. I know that I am headed towards a “nervous breakdown,” it’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning. I know that if I died, my pain would stop. It’s so tempting.
I’m sorry to hear about all that’s been going on. And you’re right it is important to get out of the “ocean of life” sometimes and let things settle. It might be a good idea to see a therapist who is “solution focused” rather than purely wanting to focus on the past and what has gone wrong which is kind of what people do when they’re suffering anyway. A therapist should be able to help you relax and focus on meeting your life needs (or at least work towards meeting them).
Please please don’t give up-which I know is easy for me to say and if there is anything I can do please say.
Mark, thank you for the incredibly quick response. I just started seeing this therapist, she knows I am there mostly to learn how to stay strong for those 3 kids I adore so much when the lose their mom, but I hardly know how I am going to survive her loss myself. I think the reason I said that about “stuff from 9 years ago” is because I have never ever gotten over the man that broke my heart 9 years ago… NEVER. How sick is that to keep letting him haunt me? He married the other woman, she was so like me, just thinner. I lost him because I wasn’t thin enough. I had one ‘boyfriend’ after him, but haven’t had sex or another meaningful relationship with a man in over 7 years. I’m 39. I used to love sex!
Well good/great sex is I think largely to do with the context in which it happens and who it’s with of course. But I don’t want to sell you a load of platitudes about the right person coming along etc ect..
Apart from the fact that your friend is so close to you-I imagine the pain of having lost the man who broke your heart as you say nine years ago is intensifying your fear of going through loss again. There are differences of course and this time around you have time to “prepare” but once we feel we have lost something very precious before then the anticipation of it happening again can seem unbearable. You need to ensure that you have support, help and time to have “time out.”
Just read the Lona’s story, it’s so similar to mine.
I had an abusive child hood with a narcissistic mother, she hated me and i could never understand what i did wrong.
I always tried to please her, but she was always critical. I grew into a strong, loving and compassionate woman.
BUT married 3 times to the wrong people, i had a flaw of feeling worthless, so any one who loved me, made me feel better. i was trying to fill the void from the love i never got from my mother, so to me any one no matter who they were was enough. But reality came through and my marriages all failed. At this point of my life, i can laugh, get on with the doctors and i know how to get along with people. These are the skills i learnt to survive after years of abuse. The problem now is, that i’m tired of it all too. i don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every thing seems like a big deal for me and over whelming. Even seeing friends or family depresses me. i don’t want to deal with any thing and i don’t care any more. i was diagnosed with severe depression 5 years ago, while i was married to an army major, who was physically abusive and mentally abusive. i am now single and live with my youngest son, we really don’t talk much to each other but we love each other. Any way i’m crying alot lately, feel lonely and i hate myself, i feel pathetic. I’m sick of every thing. nothing interests me any more. i’m still here only because of my sons, i know they still want me around. but i would love to turn off the lights, but i love my boys too much.I am 47. I’m on zoloft, xanax for depression and high anxiety. How can i get my joy back?
i always found a funny movie anything to make me laugh and forget about things for a while, its a distraction, esp when i am feelin really low. Try to think about positive things and not negitive, learning to cope in difficult situations eg; how could i have handled that better? not beating your self up for not doing it right the first time or how will i cope if this should happen? It is really hard to stop worrying but it doesn’t change anything the more you think about the problem the bigger it gets.If you really feel you need to think about the problem try putting 15 mins aside every day to think it over and then do your best to forget about it as much as you can, it is really hard, i know that but it works you find sometimes its not as big as you thought and i remember something that was said to me years ago there are some things in life you cannot change and you have to except that the other things that you can change focus on them in doing something, whether its having to face a fear or confront someone the more you do it the easier it becomes just a little bit at a time, i know for me i have imagined things much worse than it actually is, but would have never known that until i tried, if you can think what is the worst outcome that can happen and you can cope with that then do it.
I suffered from a severs mental breakdown 8 years ago, i was ill for over a year and a half i dont ever want to be like that again, i do regonise the signs and when i feel stressed i know i need to do something about it, i do beleive as a christian i dont really fear much anymore but it doest mean i dont get upset or worry i just know i have to except some things i cannot change and the things i can i try to as best i can.
I really hope this is some use to you.
To Lona, and person who can be of help-
You have pretty much summed up my life. The circumstances that brought me all to where you are at are different, but from there on, it’s the same.
The sense of humor, professionals enjoying talking to me, often disclosing stuff (even family doc) stuff about their own life- they feel comfortable. My life has been made of making people laugh. I lived for it, and it was so much fun. (At work we would almost pee ourselves laughing- seriously.) But I am fried. I AM the definition of a nervous breakdown. And as well- people don’t ‘see’ anything wrong with me, when I am so done- with everything. The laughter is long gone. I don’t want to do anything, and I feel I deserve nothing. I am a shadow of myself. No more counsellors for me.
I haven’t slept for a long long time. For sleep- Trazadone, Gabapentin, one of the ‘pams’, not lorazapam, what else….way too much, and I wake too early- sometimes 2, 4, 6 hours of sleep a day, cannot nap. Ever try to function on 2 hrs of sleep and people expect you to be ‘normal’. Daytime- horrible parnate, and Lorazapam for severe anxiety, etc. I believe my central nervous system is shot, and how do you fix that? I relax NEVER- I live on the edge- ready to fall. My insides CANNOT relax. Does anyone have advice???
My problems started when i was 12, I was seriously sexually assaulted, ( not raped ). I pushed it to the back of my mind, and never really spoke about it as i didn’t want to seem weak. Then at the age of 21 I was involved in a serious car crash and I was full term pregnant, and my baby girl was stillborn, and i was critically injured, having to spend 3 months in hospital, I was blessed a year later with a Son Callum, but still never spoke about my feelings as again I didn’t want to be seen as being weak. Then 7 1/2 years ago met a great man, Jonathan, 8 weeks into our relationship he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, he passed away 5 years ago, leaving me and our 15 month old Son, Sam. I feel like I can’t cope, I am hot one minute and freezing cold the next, I ache all over, I am shouting at Sam all the time and forever apologising to him for being nasty to him, I have never hit him though, I sometimes want to put a bullet through my head, I just can’t cope at the moment, I don’t know what to do. Michelle.
Michelle I am so sorry to hear about all that has happened and I wish you the very best for the future of course (you are certainly due a lot of good luck now it seems!) but as you say you have been blessed with 2 children.
But as I know children can be hard work! I wonder if you feel things have reached a head recently for any reason? Are stresses particularly bad right now in your life? I’m also wondering whether you have any post traumatic stress symptoms such as intrusive memories from the past that keep coming up? You can tell if a memory is traumatic because, as well as the strong emotion associated with it, it tends to feel recent even if the memory is of something that happened a very long time ago.
If so then working with someone who can help you deal with these memories so that they no longer bother you might make a huge beneficial difference to the way you feel day to day at the moment.
You certainly need space to calm down and dare I say enjoy life. I hope you have supportive people in your life who you can talk to and who can also look after your kids sometimes.
Feel free to message me privately if you want to. Make sure you look after yourself because you have certainly been through it.
I have had 3 nervous breakdowns in the past 10 yrs. The first lasted 3 wks, the second, 5 wks, and the third 9 wks and that one almost bankrupt me, as I could not work. Since then, I have been on depression/anxiety meds. But, I am starting to have some of the symptoms again and I am scared. Many of my symptoms are physical, which I guess is rare. I would like to have some of the hypnosis and relaxation materials mentioned here.
i’m lost i don’t know what to do confused lost every thing i had my world have been truned up side down i feel like my family don’t care about me not even my kids i’m not a bad person have never really did any thing have never been in any truable but i feel like such a failure like i don’t have any thing to live for offten think about killing my self . i don’t have no one to talk to i need some help is there help out there for people like me please help me i’m at the end of my rope.
Please make sure you talk to someone who will understand how you feel or if needs be contact me privately by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ tab at the top right of this page. The important things to remember (easy to say I know) is that it always feels permanent when it feels this bad but it will feel pass, you will have better times. Keep going, there are and will be people who care about you and please don’t do anything rash.
I was diagnosed with PTSD five years ago at age 54..right after my father shot himself and my mom died a week later. I have been to many therapist since then, none have helped. I am now 59, raising my 6 yr. old twin grandkids, drive over 140 miles a day taking them to school, daughters to work, nephew to school, back again, 4-h afterschool group, a husband who has fibromyalgia so his is of NO help, ( not to mention no moral or comfort from him), and take care of my othe two grandkids 4 times a week ages 6 months and 3 yrs. IM NUTS!! Ive tried finding a doctor who will help me, I beleive Ive had a nervous breakdown, but it seems they all just say, “Go home an drest”.!! I need help.
Hello s.a anybody in your situation I think would feel extremely stressed. And as you say it might be all worsened by PTSD the symptoms of which include flashbacks, nightmares and memories which seem just as vivid years later as when the incidents had just happened. If this is what you’ve been experiencing then it sounds exactly like PTSD which to suffer on top of all your commitments would be extremely tough.
If you message me privately by clicking on the ‘Contact Mark’ button we can perhaps find someone near you who is really skilled in treating PTSD. All my best, Mark
i have been thru alot of stress i loss my mom dad and bio dad in 2yrs i took care of them all my son is out of controll i cant get through to him i woke up this morning i havent been sleeping well so last night i couldnt get out didnt know were i was couldnt get up my husband works night i fonaly got out but still couldnt relize were i was at my mind is lost its a feeling i havent never went thru i know im home but still shaken inside and dont feel normal its like i cant find my way home its hard to write or think very well its like my mind is still telling me im not home so were am i my body is here do i need to go somewhere and where do igo i fell very sick to my stomach headache dizzy shaken have i went to far where am i how do i get back dreaming i was stuck some where and couldnt get out felt this all night i think i had a nervious breakdown
Hello Glenda after a nervous breakdown a person tends to feel both physically and mentally exhausted. Plenty of rest and deep sleep (as opposed to “restless dream filled sleep which tends to be exhausting in itself) is needed. Confidence in yourself also needs to return and to really get over this kind of breakdown you need to start interacting with people you like again and finding enjoyment and fun in life again. We all need to feel connected to other people, to feel life has meaning and purpose, to give and receive attention from significant people in our lives so we can feel intimate, we need to feel valuable and valued and to have regular rest and relaxation-to laugh and feel interested by what we do. As to how long this takes there is no set time but many people who have felt themselves to be in the “deepest pit” of a nervous breakdown also recover within weeks sometimes.
What may take longer is arranging your future life in such a way that it is much less likely to ever happen again.
I hope this is useful
Through all the pain and suffering I lost my identity
I was able to stand beyond the thing of me
Like when I was abused and I was out, looking down at me and my abuser
I learnt to be an out of body looker at an early age
Then i forget about out of body
and experienced panic attacks and nervous breakdown
The i remembered that i was an out of body child
And the fear, anxiety and panic stopped
I had beaten my abuser
I had turned the tables
What he had done given me the gift of “out of body”
I will never look up now
Never look sideways
or straight
I will always look down
Look down at your abuser, for what they did was an act on your body, spirit, mind
And in so doing, you were released to the heavens where you can now see and love all. Abusers, lovers and all.
I’ve been working on a big project for the last three and a half years. I’m an IT Manager and we replaced the entire system throughout our company. My main job was to write programs to move all the data from the old to the new systems. These were things like inventory, customer base, history, accounts payable, receivables, etc. The two were totally incompatible. This involved learning the new system as well as writing the programs. During this time I had to keep up with my regular work of supporting users, dealing with problems in hardware etc.
The pressure got to be too much. At that time my Doctor a psychiatrist abandoned his practice. I had to find another doctor. I started seeing a therapist as well.
The therapist knew that I was in a deep depression and gave me exercises as well as medication from my new doctor. The doctor notified my boss that it the pressure didn’t let up I was going to have a breakdown. They helped for a while. I stopped working nights and weekends and began to feel better. Walking and doing things other than work were key.
At the time of go-live, conversion to the new system, I worked the equivalent of 4 days on the 4 saturdays & sundays. The day of the actual conversion I worked 18 hours. If I hadn’t done this go-live would not have happened. There was no other person in the company that could do the job.
Things eased up after for a week or so. They do not let users contact me with questions that is all screened so that they don’t come to me unless there is no other option.
I’ve been working since fixing small problems and bugs that turn up. It is continuous work but it if something that is finished and completed after ten minutes, two days or whatever.
Then the bosses realized we needed to move the data from the old system to archives that would be accessible for history, research etc. It was given to me to do since still nobody else even understands what exactly needs doing. They have been pushing for me to get started on that project. I’m still not recovered from the last one. Go-live was may 2.
The last time they pushed I nearly blacked out. I went into a panic. Since then I’ve been unable to concentrate, don’t seem to get hungry or taste the food when I eat. I’m sleeping 12 or more hours each night. I’m get angry for no apparent reason, heart racing, flushing. I find myself at times just staring into space. I’ve tried to continue walking. I go to the mall and walk and shop or even get a massage. It has become something that I dread. It takes a huge effort to get myself there and then just walking is exhausting. And I have to admit sometimes I just blow it off and don’t go. I’ve also had some bad thoughts concerning harming myself.
I’m seeing my doctor this evening and the therapist tomorrow. Last week when I saw the therapist I couldn’t talk to him. I felt embarrassed or ashamed somhow. I had to leave. He really is a good guy and I have always been comfortable with him talking. Now I’m afraid.
I don’t understand what has happened to me only that I’m completely miserable. I actually thought writing this down may help somewhat.
Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I’m sure everyone here sympathizes and it’s such a clear account of how a build up of stress can sap energy, confidence and even, for a while, the capacity to get the real rest we need from sleep. All this can lead to feeling like you are having a nervous breakdown. Depression rides off the back of a build up of stress. I’m not suggesting you are depressed (just extremely stressed) but it might help for you to look at ‘The Depression Learning Path http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/ both to reassure you that what you are experiencing right now is totally normal and to help you understand why you’ve started feeling this way and also offer hope that it will pass and that you’ll once again feel calm, confidence and energetic-at least to the point that you were before.
Glen, My background is the same as yours. Although my background came whilst i was working in video games development.
I have spent many years researching and I only found the answer about 6 months ago.
Basically it goes like this.
The work you are doing is unnatural to you.
As the stress increases you become disengaged from your true natural self, as the ego begins to fight with your body to the death.
The panics I experienced were a direct result of the intensity I was feeling from the ego. The more I pushed to finish the more the ego tried to usurp me. It would give me strange sensations like i was dying and eventually i couldn’t drive, fly, go on trains and the final act was to remove me from work. As a consequence I ended up with agarophobia, depression and PTSD. Believe me. You need to take your foot off the pedal. I spent the last 4 years living as a virtual recluse, getting more and more in debt.
Get the hell out of there. Its not worth your mental health.
Stephen
You said you went to Cathlic school & hopefully they taught you the word & how to use it. Get your Bible,then read & study it for yourself. I had gone to church most of my life but, like you perhaps, because I had to be there. When I ended up in much of the same feelings as you, I finally turned back to God & that was where I drew my strenghth, renewed my thinking & outlook about myself, forgave those who had misued me or taken advantage of me, was able to do without any meds which were very short term,(long term I felt they masked but didnt fix the problems I had),...& found out what a strong person I really am…probably for the first time in my life. It’s a healing process & not always easy. Stay focused, stick with it just a few minuets a day & it will make a differance. You will still be a blessing to others & you will feel blessed within as well. I lost my mother, my husband left me, & 6 of my close friends were killed or died within a 6 month period, I had no job & 2 small children. That is only part of the hardships…but it all turned out in such miraculus ways! I also learned that no matter how bad I thought my life was, there are always others who have it worse. If you would choose not to rekindle/strenghthen your faith, get postive,don’t let those negatives rain on your parade,don’t try to change what you can not & go on, love & accept yourself for who you are (God made you & he does not make junk!)
WOW. I just came across this site and Lona hit the nail on the head for me, as well as a few of the others comments. Hopeless, lost, can’t laugh, want to sleep, depressed, alone (not lonely), anxious, unhappy, can’t shake the “mood”, etc…I have lost interest in pretty much everything and find life monotonous and mundane. I tried antidepressants and refuse to take them because they are like putting a bandaid on cancer. I NEED HELP! Serious HELP, not some drug that will supposedly make me feel better. I take Xanax for anxiety and sleep because there are no side affects. I am also suffering PTSD, my boyfriend killed himself last year and I figured as time went on, things would get better. Not great, but maybe even a bit better…I am feeling worse and worse by the day. It’s a struggle to wake up and try to get motivated. I only go out if I have to, I can’t seem to find the appropriate help for my problem(s), it’s like they don’t exist. People say “snap out of it” or “relax”, etc…and that just makes it worse. At least reading this thread has made me feel less alone, but I really need to find people who will totally understand what is going on in my brain. Thanks all…
hi i to have these feelings. i visit my g p or therapist and know all the right things to say just so i can go home and pull the duvet over my head and avoid everyone. leaving the house is so scary i just dont know how to react anymore and i really dont want to talk to people. i have m e my family think going to bed or staying at home is because of the m e, but its not. this morning i looked in the mirror and thought maybe todays the day i give up completly. so why dont i because slowly therapy is teaching me that i can change the way i think , that its ok not to want to live my life the way it was. i cant see the light at the tunnel yet. but im going to trust the people the therapists who tell me its there and try to take the first step by showing my therapist this and letting her see the real me behind the fear and tears. i wish everybody going through this dreadful time the best of mental health and urge you to ask for help. and when they give you advice or goals take their hand and hold on for dear life as you make this painful journey. maybe it wont rain tommorow and if the sun shines we can all manage a tiny smile.
Lona on March 01 said:
I have a question and no one to ask. I am a very high strung person (child of an alcoholic mother) I wake up and I start going. Non stop. I have had so many negative things happen to me I dont know which I would even start with. Oh yeah, I was last of eight children, that went to a Strict Catholic School. So abuse was right up there.
My problem, and I know you are not going to believe me..Everyone thinks I have it together. I have a very fast witted sense of humor. I should have probably gone in that job direction. But,I have gone to a Therapist who told me he enjoyed my appointments because I could make him laugh. My dentist takes forever doing my teeth because he likes to talk to me. My doctor likes me. I have been told by the best that “I have all the tools, I just need to learn how to use them”. Well now too many bad events have taken place and I am laughed out. I now cry at least 5 times a week. They changed my job from no fault of my own and I am miserable. My 19 year old son is trying. But by no means is he of help. In the past month I have fixed his car three times. I am out of money. I used to laugh so hard my face and teeth hurt. Now I am not doing that. I have the tools and skills to fix myself but I dont want to. Is this Pity? There is nothing I can say I look forward to. I love my son, and my dog and all my friends and I know not to hurt my self. But what if you just dont want to play anylonger. I dont want to go to work. I dont want to clean the house. I dont want to do anything. Medications I am on:
Trazadone,to sleep, Xanax to calm myself down and I just started Effexor. I dont remember to take those. And the lowest dose of Effexor is like speed to me. It make me grind my teeth and feel like I am coming out of my skin. My question? What can I do to fix this? Oh yeah, I am a 48 year old female.
Ann on May 19 said:
Lona,
I see you posted your comment on the 1st of March. How sad that nobody has taken the time to answer you.
First of all, my heart goes out to you. I know what it is like to be the kind of person that everyone believes has no problems, you feel very alone when people don’t believe you or help you when you finally drum up the courage to ask.
Secondly, I believe you have come to the right place with Uncommon Knowledge. Stay with this site and you will find some sollutions. I am a therapist and have just begun a course in Hypnotherapy because it has helped me so much, I want to use it to help others now. It can help you too. And I know that you probably want a shoulder to lean on right now, but the only person that can help you, is you.
Just to let you know, I am 55 and have a long history of alowing people to walk all over me. A very capable person but somehow I always ended up with the wrong one. As I said, self-hypnosis is how I am getting myself out of this, it can work for you too.
Best wishes to you,
Mark Tyrrell on May 19 said:
Lona I’m so sorry I missed your comment and thank you Ann for supplying an answer. Of course there is no one solution. We all need an array of solutions in order for life to feel meaningful and enjoyable. Certainly regular rest, and, as Ann suggested, constructive hypnotherapy can help you both feel motivated to meet your basic emotional needs: http://tinyurl.com/2ctxejk and begin to adopt the actions required for you to feel better. But feeling better is also, of course, about overcoming past hurts. Please message me privately (by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ icon on the top right hand side of the home page) any time and perhaps we can discuss this.
All the very best
Mark
Liza on May 29 said:
Hello Mark, I’m writing for a dear friend.
You’ve got a wise approach and helpful to the layperson seeking advice.
There are numberous on-line therapy sites. Is you site used for one-on-one therapy. Private and not open to blogs and comments? If not, do you recommend any that my friend might try?
Thank you,
Liza
Karen Davis on June 01 said:
I have a question, I have been diagnosed with PRSD, MDD, OCD AND PANIC/ANXIETY, I read in your article where it said lack of interest in sex, can it be that a nervous breakdown is also associated with being promiscuous to the point of loseing focus of everything else in ones life?
Mark Tyrrell on June 16 said:
Hi Liza
Thank you for your comments. I don’t offer online therapy but I’m happy to exchange confidential emails via the ‘contact Mark’ button top right.
I hope this is helpful
Mark
Mark Tyrrell on June 16 said:
Hi Karen
Stress often dampens down sex drive but sometimes people may use the escapism of casual sex as a distraction from massive anxieties in the same way that heavy drinking may be an instinctive attempt to escape a troubled mind.
All the best
Mark
Everett Berry on June 17 said:
Loved the site = 1st time Ive seen a NB described accurately. Thanks!
Bonnie on July 08 said:
I recently had a nervous breakdown, I am a type a people pleaser, and many times I try to please others while I know it is going against what is being true to myself. During the past year I lost my job, my car, my home, agreed to move cross country so my husband could acheive his career knowing full well I did not want to leave my children and grandchildren and friends on the east coast. The move cost even more loss finacial ruin sold most of what was valuable to myself and now my husband has a job where he only comes home 2 days out of 9 day on the road. I have been on medication, and he promised that as soon as he could aford it we will move back to the east. In the mean time I feel nothing but despair. My daughter recommended a gratitude journel of three things each day andf why I am grateful , she just shared this with me and it seems simple and worth the shot. What I learned in all this is to be true to myself learn to say no and it is ok to say no sometime for ones serenity.
M morrison on September 06 said:
I am a 39 y o wf experiencing severe anxiety and depression symptoms for the past 2 yrs. I cried when i read your post. It is eeirily similar to my own experience. I have been seeing a therapist for over 18 months, as well as taking all meds prescribed for me. I have had some brief times of partial relief, but keep sinking down to that overwhelming feeling of no longer being able to function, over & over. I have not at any point gotten well enough to even consider myself even a tiny bit happy. The guilt is overwhelming, as i have three children who cant comprehend what has become of the mom they used to have. Also for some unknown reason i am able to keep up appearances at work. All still believe im the same cheerful gal i used to be! Its exhausting! The worst part is feeling unable to complete even the simplest of tasks like laundry, dinner, or going to supermarket. Just wanted to say youre not alone
Michele Chenowith on September 18 said:
I’m a almot 48 years of age. My husband left about 6 years ago with my two girls. He said he just couldn’t talke all the finacial pressure, the girls acting up, no money, he was depressed which runs in his family and also mine. Jut the past two weeks, I fell at work so I’m not on workmans comp and am totally broke…my automible insurance just sent m a letter sating that I was cancelld because i missed a payment. I’m going to be going through my divorce starting this week with the help of my father. I’m also losing my home which I have to get out and look for an apartment like yesterday..My head feels like its going to explode..never stops..can’t sleep at all, in pain pysically and emotional. Any help on certain meds to jut get through one of the million speed bumps I hit in my life. I’m just totally exhausted Thank you for time..Shelly Chenowith
christian on October 16 said:
I’m concerned because I think I may have had or may be undergoing a nervous breakdown. I’m usually, or at least i was a very active, independent, and happy person but things have changed. Basically in the past 6 months I’ve had a combination of sudden, drastic changes in my health, finances, and because of a specific event i cannot talk to my friends anymore, i cant participate in volunteer activities that i spent 100+ hours a month in, and a relationship suddenly ended. As all of this was happening some well meaning family members tried to help by getting me to move cross country, trying to negotiate a resolution to the above matters against my will(but not including me in any of the decisions). It seems that I’ve lost everything important to me and the independence of making my own decisions, which to me at 20 is important to me. Needless to say I’ve been very sad lately, i have abnormal sleeping patterns, a major change in my appetite, feelings of worthlessness, crying, thoughts of suicide, etc. last night I suddenly got really sad, started crying and had thoughts of suicide. This morning I felt the same way, i didnt feel like getting out of bed, but i did and the smallest thing caused me major irritation. so i went in my room sat down and started watching tv. But a family came into my room asked me if I felt like doing something and I said no. To this she replied get up come on and do it. We had a minor argument AND I basically just asked her to leave me alone. An hour later they decided they wanted to “talk” i told them this really wasnt a good time ant that i didnt feel like talking. i felt that during this talk i was being attacked, i wasnt allowed to finish statements finally i just started screaming uncontrollably. does it sound like i am having a nervous breakdown?
Mark Tyrrell on October 17 said:
Hello Christian
The important thing to remember is that the term nervous breakdown is a metaphor. People don’t really breakdown but we can all feel exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes. So much has happened to you that there would be something “wrong” with you if you didn’t feel a bit overwhelmed right now. But as life starts to straighten out again you’ll feel better perhaps much quicker than you expected The hardest thing to do but the best thing to do is get out of bed and do stuff. The more you mull, ruminate and worry the worse you’ll feel but activity can offset this. Please find people you can talk to who are sympathetic and on-judgemental. And feel free to privately message me by using the ‘contact Mark’ button at the top of the page.
All the best
Mark
karen on October 19 said:
I beleive their is such a thing as a nervous breakdown, when you feel like you are no longer important, has anyone ever felt like they are falling down a large black hole and everything is dark but you have to drag yourself back to the top or you will drown. It is truely terrible, everything people have said on this site I can relate to. Point is what to do, maybe take medications that have bad side effects, or just see a professional, both perhaps, but why do we go through this. My theory is you have to pull yourself through with strength and courage that we all have deep down, all of us have been through some sort of abuse in one way or another. So to everyone out there I feel your pain as it is also mine. I am learning to be gentle with myself if I dont want to go outside I dont, if I feeel a little stronger I do but I dont push myself I go with my feelings also I try to change my thought patterns mostly if something bad happens I now say to myself okay I can and I will get through this I will tackle this when I feel strong enough. Last Xmas I tried to kill myself so I really do know how low you can feel at times, three times in my life I have felf this horrible feeling at the moment am trying to pull myself through once again. So peace be with you all remember the quote you are a child of the universe no lesser than the trees and the stars you have a right to be here. Be gentle with yourself.
hayleyamber on November 04 said:
I am a 35 yr old mother/wife.Where do i begin ? well 6 yrs ago I was in a car accident w/my 2 beautiful daughters(all 3 of us were just passengers.My 1st ex-husband was the the one driving our car(WHOM I REGRETFULLY WAS BACK TOGETHER WITH AT THE TIME)-Anyways,a roadrager t-boned our car&instantly; killed my 4yr old daughter.To this day after i begged TV TO LET THE PUBLIC KNOW THAT AN UNIDENTIFIED PERSON IN PICK-UP PURPOSELY hit my car/fled after murdering my child-he HAS NEVER BEEN CHARGED FOR MY DAUGHTER’S DEATH.After our local t.v. news aired my story, the next day while my daughter’s wake was beginning-a very close cop& dear friend informed WHO THE OTHER DRIVER WAS&that; he turned himself in with 2 other accomplices. AFTER THAT my life HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME.My parents&siblings; blamed ME-4 the death of my baby girl.I went thru REHAB/TRTMNT #2-on my own.Plus my family started gossiping MORE,ETC they got WORSE.I have NO CONTACT WITH THEM STILL TO THIS DAY.I NO longer work becuz of the guilt I feel not spending time with her like i should have.Then my 1st ex did 5 1/2 yrs & was just released.Not even a week after being free-he started calling CPS&SAYING; THAT I BEAT MY CHILDREN&SELL;-OR DO DRUGS.He started txtng/talking to my 2 oldest(whom he’s bloodrelated&NEVER; TOOK CARE OF)AND HE BRAINWASHED them&had; CPS put them in FOSTER CARE.And guess where they went?My parents!!!And then 4 days ago our 1st family pet we had(pretty orange cat) was killed/hit by a car.I just dont know-understand WHY SOMEONE LIKE ME HAS BEEN THRU THE RINGER & continue to be “picked-on to NO END”? MY KIDS&HUSBAND; R THE ONES WHO GIVE ME THE STRENTH 2 KEEP LIVING.I cry,cry,cry everyday. How MUCH MORE CAN I POSSIBLY TAKE? EVERYBODY HAS A BREAKING POINT& i think i’ve reached mine.If I didn’t have my husband I don’t think I’d be typing this tonight. And by the way-5 1/2 months ago my husband had a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK&WAS; DECLARED DEAD FOR 7 mins.&then; thank the lord he came back!!And that day was EXACTLY A #1 MONTH ANNIV. to which we buried my husband’s father(my father-inlaw) to a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK.I just know that I will be hospitalized,etc.I have a very big heart&think; that tends 2 be my downfall.I DO BLAME MYSELF EVERYDAY.does anyone have any advice ?please tell me- BAD OR GOOD.
hayleyamber on November 04 said:
Sorry but I forgot a couple more things. I am also seeing a therapist as well as my husband.And after my mom had 4 strokes in March my dad called me&told; me my mom will be"lucky enuf to be around ANOTHER YEAR CAUSE SHE REFUSES TO QUIT SMOKING”.And-my mother has been having a OPEN AFFAIRw/another man for the last 12 yrs? And she was helping my ex-husband to STEAL MY CHILDREN!HOW AND WHY WOULD A “mother” do that to her OWN FLESH&BLOOD;? MY MOM LIED TO ME,USED ME,AND STOLE MY KIDS RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.AFTER I WAS STUPID/NAIVE ENUF to give her another chance she did this.I left her a voicemail the night my kids were dragged away & told her 35 yrs of her shitty parenting-I NEVER WANT TO SEE/HEAR HER EVER AGAIN. It wasnt easy but what OTHER CHOICE DID/DO I HAVE ? i ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION-she was in&out; of a mental institution when I was growing up.So u see-I never had a mom.My grandma raised me.Thank-God!!! Can anyone understand-“THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING.” I would very much appreciate feedback.
mark tyrrell on November 05 said:
Hi Hayley
You certainly have been through the ringer in all kinds of ways. It reminds me of the expression “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. You have your husband and kids, as you say, and they give you strength but also there must be something inside of you that has enabled you to keep on keeping on through all of this. It will be good for you to really think about that part of yourself and also make sure you meet your needs for rest and social connection to good people. It also sounds like you are over-due some good luck. Follow the ideas in the article as much as possible and remember the really precious and polished stones are the ones that have been churned around the most by the sea
All best wishes
Mark
Ally on December 03 said:
Hi, this is what I would do for now. Stop taking the sleep medication, and use the xanaxx to sleep.take one before bed,between the sleep meds and the xanax your in a fog, then the speed gets you going till your exhausted, I would tell my doctor about the speed med and have him change it. Try it, I think it might help.
hayleyamber on December 08 said:
ATTN ALLY;
I don’t know what you’re talking about whatsoever ....I think you’re confused or your comment was MEANT FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. BECAUSE WHAT U COMMENTED TOO ME DOESN’T MAKE A BIT OF SENSE UNLESS-you’re being INSENSITIVE & RUDE. In which I hope NOT because those of us who do come on here and pour out very personal things DO NOT NEED ANY UNNECESSARY GARBAGE.
Diana Young on December 17 said:
Sorry I don’t remember what a URL is, so I can’t give you that information just now.
I know I am under enormous stress, As a 75 year old woman who has metastatic breast cancer I’m getting good treatment at Stanford Univ. Cancer center in Palo Alto CA. I had a lumpectomy in 2003 followed by a Parathyroidectomy the following month so I could receive the Chemo and radiation required. Even though I had 21 positive lymph nodes, and a tumor 5 centimeters in size, I have lived for almost 8 years. Two years ago, they found it had migrated to my liver, and it seems I have a growing lesion and they want to try a new chemo pill now.
In July of this year, my long time therapist only 61 years old was suddenly felled by two brain hemorrhages and in a coma for 11 days. I had no idea what had happened to her for five long weeks and went crazy not knowing. Her husband finally phoned me to let me know, and she was able to speak to me two weeks later, though she’s not the same person. Two days later, I got the news that my best friend of 70 years had died, and many others have met the same fate or are very sick. That’s when my asthma kicked in, and I am having anxiety attacks now as well. You’ve given me some hope that I can get back on track and see the light at the end of the tunnel again. I became a good artist during those 8 long years gilding on glass, and starting a note card company using all my own original art,,,it doesn’t seem important now. I was appointed to the Arts & Culture Commission last March and love that. I know I need some help !
Karen Davis on December 17 said:
Haleyamber, when I read Ally’s comment, I too thought it was very insensitive. I ran into a person, who basically told me, You can do this and that, and you will be cured. It is NOT that easy to mend a broken Heart. Mark is truely correct in saying you have been through alot of turmoil, and to say it can be fixed easily is ridiculous. My heart goes out to you. I too have a horrible past, I am not over by any means, and may never be completely over it. However one thing that has helped me is my complete trust in God, he never intends for us to waste a hurt. by your Mom being so cruel to you, it has made you a better mom and a better person (intentionally NOT doing what she has done) I pray you have a bible, this chapter has helped me more than anything Isiaih 61, in particular Isiaih 61:1-4
Ruth on December 17 said:
The effexor will help soon. You may even have a hormonal problem from menopause. I am 44 and am going through it myself. I cry everyday for months at a time
Mark Tyrrell on December 18 said:
Diana thank you for your message it seems as if you have been through so much but I also detect you are a woman of real substance and humantity. I’m not surprised you’ve been having axiety episodes. Please feel free to contact me privately under the ‘contact Mark’ tab at the top of the page. If I can help in any way I will
All best wishes to you
Mark
Becky on December 28 said:
Lona,
You sound just like me! I’d love to talk to you if you would like. I’m a 45 year old female, on medications, have more energy than the Energizer Bunny, nobody would ever guess how miserable I am. I have a great sense of humor too and make people laugh. I’m the oldest of 3, from a single parent family
Michelle on January 01 said:
im a 39 year old mother of 3 kids, 13, 6, and 5, the youngest also had autisim, i feel so fed up with my life, the other night i went to the toilet, just got there and all hell breaks loose again, the youngest bite his sister so the oldest started on him and pulled his hair to get him off her, all the screaming just got too much for me and i found myself on the bathroom floor in tears, i must have been there for a while, i couldnt breath through my nose and couldnt even get up from the floor, this has never happened to me before, im worried im having a beakdown, im on my own with my kids and dont have a life without them, i feel im a bad mum who should know better than to get into this state but i had no control over it and cant handle the thought of it ever happening again, my kids need me and i them too, please somebody tell me what was this and why, i have never felt like that before and dont want to again
Mark Tyrrell on January 01 said:
Thank you Michelle for sharing this with us and please be assured that feeling like you’re at breaking point or even having a nervous breakdown sometimes certainly doesn’t make you a bad mum. With all the stress it would be strange if you didn’t sometimes feel like this. I really hope you have people to help you in your life and if I can be of any help what so ever contact me by using the button at the top right of the page. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.
All the very best and here’s looking to a better New Year.
Mark
fiona mcneil on January 05 said:
i don’t know how to fix ‘it’, but if you find out could you let me know. I thought i was reading my own story there.
Mark Tyrrell on January 24 said:
Hi again Josh
I’m very pleased that you have been checked medically and also that you have your dad to talk to. Certainly stress can make you feel faint. This can happen when we over breath and is also more likely to occur when you know it’s a symptom of something. And stress and tension can also make us ache all over and feel stiff as a result too.
All the best Josh
Mark
josh paton on January 24 said:
hi again
you have put my mind at rest quite alot because last week i went to the doctor and they said i had no symptoms of meningitus and i do have a understanding adult to talk to because my dad has suffered with anxiety and depression and he was near a nervous break down and my dad says he got symptoms like i did and when you said you thought you had symptoms all the time when you were 12 and you are right it will pass it did 2 years ago and im actualy getting better help than i was before but there are just times when i feel desperate and times when i feel really calm like i have my ups and downs but there is 1 thing i still want to know can stress make you feel realy faint and have stiff muscles anyway thanks ill see how it goes from here
Mark Tyrrell on January 24 said:
Hello folks I’m sorry I’ve been away from my computer for too long. Debbie of course I can understand the temptation to drink alcohol but because of how it affects sleep it will make you even more tired. It’s really important you talk to someone who will actually listen and you need to relax of course. I hope you can take the time to do something for yourself which you enjoy and find restful. Please feel free to post here again and we’ll do all we can.
Sam I’m really sorry to hear about all the setbacks you’ve had but it’s good, I think, that you recognize so clearly what you do need (so many people know they don’t feel right but don’t know what they are missing) I know that may be small comfort but it is so important http://tinyurl.com/55px8 We all need to meet our basic emotional needs as best we can in the situation we are in. That situation may not feel ideal but there are always ways to meet them as best we can-again feel free to post here too.
Josh it’s always best to have any medical concerns checked out by a medical doctor and we all need to be sensible with our health. So I advise you if you are worried to ask to see your doctor. But also it is easy to convince ourselves we have symptoms and even to feel as if we really have them when we don’t. This isn’t really a symptom of a nervous breakdown but more to do with very specific health worries. When I was 12 I used to worry about all kinds of medical issues and feel all kinds of symptoms too and all that will pass. I hope you have an understanding adult to talk to Josh. It will all get better with time and it’s important that you learn to relax more. When you feel anxious listen to the relaxation recording on this article and get into the habit of taking control-when you breath, breath a bit slower and breath out slightly more slowly than you breath in this will help you calm down very quickly : )
Josh paton on January 24 said:
hi
im josh i am 12 and for the past month i have had severe
anxiety it all started off as a fear of being sick because 2 years ago when i was 10 i was sick and it set off a phobia about being sick but after about 6 months it went but then september 2010 it came back but from december 21st to this day i have had severe anxiety and lately i have been having symptoms of a nervous break down and lately i have been geting stiff arms and legs aswell as achey arms and legs plus in my neck as well but yesterday i felt realy faint and today i have been feeling faint and because a little girl died of meningitus in my home town im scared that i have meningitus so when i get stiff arms and legs because that it a symptom of meningitus i sometimes have panick attacks worrying that i have it so i want to know is it normal geting stiff and achey arms and legs and feeling faint and dizzy plus head aches is it all the symptoms that you get when you have stress please can somebody put my mind at rest and tell me i feel so alone
sam on January 24 said:
im not sure if im having a nervous breakdown or not but i have moved from poole in dorset to bracknell in berkshire i had a full time job in poole and i had a purpose i have suffered with depression and anxiety for 22 years when i was working i felt really good now in bracknell im really struggerling to find a job ther are no jobs here i felt alive in poole i feel very depressed tearful all the time i am so unhappy i cant eat or sleep and cry myself to sleep every night i wish someone would help me i miss my dad he died 3 years ago i keep asking him for help i just feel like walking and never stopping.
Debbie Rivas on January 24 said:
I NEED HELP WITH ANXIETY,DEPRESSION AND AM TURNING TO ALCHOL. I have not been able to find a therapist to listen and have no friends. Family is worthless and my 2nd husband does not card or understand.
Tired Person
Thomas on February 04 said:
Does one think they hear things, such as someone in the house, when suffering from a nervous breakdown? I have been under a tremendous amount of stress. Relationship problems, work/job problems, life has really been tough during the past year. Please help.
Mark Tyrrell on February 04 said:
Hi Thomas,
be assured that with high levels of stress come all kinds of symptoms that can seem “weird” but which disappear when you get proper rest and calm.
Certainly one sign of a nervous breakdown might be “hyper vigilance” a feeling either that something bad is about to happen or even that there is someone in the house. It’s as if the mind sometimes has to create things to justify that level of stress. Maybe you haven’t been sleeping so well (and are therefore closer to the dream state when you are awake) or perhaps just very “jumpy”. This doesn’t mean that you are “going crazy” just that you need to relax and rest.
All the very best and I hope things improve for you soon-it’s important to really look after yourself.
Mark
Mark Tyrrell on February 06 said:
Hello Dawn
I’m really sorry to hear how tough things have been for you, especially lately it sounds. Three kids under four would be a real struggle for anyone I think. Remember a ‘nervous breakdown’ is a metaphor it’s not even a real diagnoses and it just means ‘feeling overwhelmed’. Nothing is going to ‘break’ but you might feel exasperated and exhausted sometimes (which means at other times you won’t so much). It’s important to remember this. You have obviously got a great deal of strength which, with the support of your husband, will see you through. Follow the ideas in the article and make sure you meet your human needs for rest, relaxation and adult company as best you can being such a bus mom. Your kids are all under four right now but IT WILL GET EASIER. Please don’t lose heart. Seek out support from friends and tell people what you need-it’s no crime to feel over whelmed sometimes.
All the very best Dawn
Mark
Dawn on February 06 said:
Hi…I am a 30yr old female with three kids 4years old and under! I have had a huge change in my life lately. I have lost my entire family because I wanted to raise my children without so much pressure and judgement. I had to move in with my mother in law! It’s been horrible. I have been an abuser of pain killers for several years now. Here lately my dose increased way more than ever. I decided to clean out my system and flipped out. I have always had some mental issues. The doctors didnt know if it was bipolar or PTSD. Now I am left feeling very sad and alone. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any insurance and can’t go to the DR. My main concern is I am having a nervous breakdown. I have felt like going to the hospital more than once in the last week and telling them I am maybe losing my mind. I can’t concentrate and I keep having the over whelming feeling to run out the house screaming for help. The problem is there is no one to help. I have children that need me to be the “mommy” I use to be. I feel like they are suffering and so is my love life. My husband is amazing and I couldn’t ask for more help or a better partner. He is the one that gets all the backlash from my flip outs. I am lost and scared I will be that way forever without proper help!! Please tell me what I can do for help!
Thanks…..MOM in NEED!!!
Storme on February 15 said:
Hi, I am a 38 year old single mum who has a long history of depression, and PTSD. I am so fed up of smiling at the world, yet crying on the inside. There is nothing I can say I look forward to. I love my daughter and she is the only reason that keeps me going each day. I guess being a single parent i have no choice but to wipe the tears and pretend that everything is okay when actually on the inside i dont want to go on. Its been 22 long years struggling with feelings of hopelessness and as i write this i feel as though i am spiralling down that all familiar deep dark pit, where i will be held a prisoner for however long it takes. Im scared to reach that place again…....
I dont want the drugs anymore because of the nasty side effects they have on me. I just dont know what to do.
Mark Tyrrell on February 15 said:
Hi Storme
I hope you can find some use in the ideas in this article. Remember although we use the words nervous breakdown we never just breakdown completely it’s just descriptive for that time where we feel overwhelmed for a while. People bounce back even when they don’t think or believe they will. Maybe instead of “spiraling down that deep dark pit” this time you can hang on and drag yourself out quicker. I hope you have support, people to talk to and help. It’s important you eat right, rest as much as you can and not panic about feeling so bad because it will pass. All my best
Mark
angelo santos on February 24 said:
this is great tks angelo
Cindy on February 27 said:
You sound like me - I fit all the symptoms of a nervous breakdown, except lack of appetite. I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to.
susan on March 19 said:
I am a 56-year-old woman, and I have all of the symptoms of an emotional breakdown. I have NO support system. Was wondering if you could suggest someone to talk to via the telephone? Thank you.
pete cooper on March 23 said:
I really wish someone would help me im 35 and i feel like im losing my mind i worry constantly i am so depressed im afraid im getting to the point to where i wanna die im so lonely i lost my friends and girl friend cause i dont like doing things anymore i need guidence.
Mark Tyrrell on March 23 said:
Hello Pete please be assured that I’ll do anything I can for you. One of the worst things about feeling depressed is the feeling of being out of control and the feeling that solving problems (even stuff you’d normally be able to solve) are like insurmountable mountains. I suggest you read our ‘Depression Learning Path’ http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/ both to understand exactly why depression makes you feel like that and to give you hope that it can and will lift. You can also contact me by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ button at the top hand right of this page. Don’t lose heart Pete, Mark
MVT on March 25 said:
Please go online and you can email the Samaritins. Or please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline 18002738255. If only to talk to a nice human being. That helps so much. Just to know our Heavenly Father works through good people. I know. I have really suffered and felt that way and went to the local Police Station and felt stupid; but their humanity and care of the ambulance drivers was life-changing. I have never read the Bible through and through or go to church anymore, but I do believe in God. God works through people please call someone. Someone who DOES NOT know you; they will mean well butwill invariably judge or project on to you. Good Luck. You will laugh again.
jessica gardner on March 28 said:
I am only 14 so the first symptom on you list dosn’t apply to me, but the rest do and i think i’m haveing a nervous breakdown, my life lately has been falling apart due to all of my friendships suddenly ending at once, and exam and homework stress, but your audio has helped for the time being and i would like to thank you for that
Linda on March 30 said:
Hi Lona,
I hope this message finds you feeling much more energized (in a positive way) and on the road to recovery very soon. You mention your age, have you seen your family physician or gynecologist lately and explained these symptoms? As I read through, I am considering also if you are experiencing depression more so than a break-down. I say this in reference to materials that I have read and television commercials regarding depression.
I am (55) and have not experienced great changes physically since the onset of menopause and my last cycle, but of late I have experienced heightened anxiety and that is something I am not going to tolerate if possible. By that, I mean that I am finally going to start reading more in this area and looking more actively into positive therapy, hopefully without the aid of drugs as my metabolism happens to be one of those that does not tolerate medications very well, and perhaps that is a good thing. Also, I like to gt to the source and handle it as opposed to masking the situation - again, when possible. I am a tee-totaler and have always been and I am a woman of strong faith, all of which I am sure benefit my being greatly. I, on the other hand have not been to my gyno, I have nodules on my thyroid and need to consent to surgery, and I began menopause around (5) years ago, so I am sure that these issues play a role in the symptoms that I have experienced of late. Given drastic changes, I really think that this is hormonally induced in some manner…hormones are great when working properly, but I have come to dilike them greatly when they are not working properly. Your son needs you, you need you most of all, and your pet and others need you. Don’t stop with one diagnosis,talk with experts in the field of mental and physical health, keep moving forward, and know that help and hope are always available for the asking. I will also note that two great faith-based ministeries targeting sound mind and body are Joyce Meyer Ministeries, and Joel Osteen Ministeries.
My call is advocating safety and wellbeing for at-risk children, with particular FOCUS on the vulnerable and defenseless albino children of africa. Although it can prove mentally taxing, it is the passion/vision/mission of my heart and I strive toward the goal of being there for my dear children number, and for the good of my call unto others. Please feel free to respond if you would like.
My prayers for you for freedom, direction, and peace.
William Earl on April 01 said:
I had a city prosecutor bring charge after charge against me that none of the charges had merit, it was a vendetta against me, the stress of all the going on was bad but when it went to trial, my neighbor who had conspired with the city prosecutor didn’t want to commit perjury, so he recanted everything and it was dropped. We had talked about doing a CMU wall and would need permission to do clean up on the neighbor side and that is all we talked about but on May 01 2008 I received a letter from my attorney with a letter the prosecutor sent to him, tell me I had until May 31 2008 to complelte the wall. I called my attorney, told him we didn’t have the money to do the wall, he said “You either do the wall or go to jail” I knew that I didn’t agree to do the wall to have the charges dropped but it didn’t matter this prosecutor could do anything. I did the wall but when I was afraid I was going to be thrown in jail because I hadn’t met the May 31 date, I worked on this wall until 3:00am and got up at 5:30am went to work and was working 6 days a week 70 to 80 and working on this wall, I did this for about a month and ended up with a blow up at work and quit. I had nervous backdown, now because I am putting so much stress on my wife I fear she is headed for a back down all because of a unlawful harassment by a city prosecutor.
anonymous on April 02 said:
i just dont want to go on anymore. ive had a lot of bad things happen to me too. no one likes me. no one has ever liked me. i am all alone and miserable and bitter. i hate the people i work with. i hate my job. nothing matters to me anymore. i just want it to stop. i wont hurt myself. im shocked that images pop into my head of me killing myself and hurting others. i would never act on these thoughts and i want them to stop. i just want it all to end.
Mark Tyrrell on April 03 said:
Hello Anonymous
I know anything I say might sound glib but so many people come back from where you are at the moment and feel stronger and become more fulfilled. Keep on keeping on. I’m glad you say you won’t act on any of these thoughts. Watch out for that “all or nothing/black or white” thinking and cherish and nurture hope however small and it will grow and become stronger.
All my best
Mark
sharon oehmke on April 07 said:
it all started when doctor put me on blood pressure meds, then i started with a- fib, so 2 cardio versions that did not take care of the problem, then my oxygen levels dropped and ended up with pneumonia wellll that was a fright of my life. if anyone has ever had steroid induced psycosis you know what i went through. next step go to u of m med center pnemonia again. went back a month later to have a pacemaker put in. oh i forgot somewhere in there i was told i have copt. now im on oxygen, so get checked for sleep apnea. yep that to. believe or not am now feeling pretty good until 1/4/11 when i slipped and fell and fractured my wrist/followed by surgery 1plate 6 pins.today is the worse day i cannot stop crying. ANY SUGGESTIONS
Mark Tyrrell on April 07 said:
Hello Sharon
It sounds as if you have been through so much! Tears help lower stress levels in the blood stream so some crying may be your body’s way of easing stress so let yourself do it but when it’s happened enough the important thing is not to dwell on what’s been happening more than is necessary. Think about before your fell-you were feeling better right? I’m guessing that’s because you were focusing your mind outward again feeling more confident and calmer? Because you know how to do that your mind will be able to get back there soon especially if you focus on the ideas in the spotting nervous breakdown symptoms article.
Today may feel bad but it will get better and perhaps sooner than you expect : )
All my best
Mark
cat on April 07 said:
I feel like you are my mirror! OMG I am same age and used to be the same way “the laugher”. I have a daughter who is 21 who has a 3 year old and they are living with me. My daughter makes the messes nevermind help clean them. I am not on medication and God only knows why because sometimes I feel like I am going to crack. All I do is clean, clean, spend, spend (money that I don’t have), work, work and bitch and bitch. It’s not pity it’s being overwhelmed. How much can one person do? And no one GETS it. And they don’t care. As long as your doing for them that’s all that matters. I love my house and where it is, but I have been so tempted to sell it and get a shack so I don’t have so much to clean, repair, maintain and pay for. My job pays pretty low, but I have good health insurance (for now) and I am in the final stages of treatment for lymphoma (that is a good thing) so I can’t change, and who wants to hire a sick 48 year old who can’t even manage her life? I guess you just get through it. This too shall pass?
Mark Tyrrell on April 08 said:
Hello cat and thank you for sharing your story here. It’s so important to at least take account of your own human needs because you’re not just a “device” to help other people meet their needs regardless of your own. It seems that you do have some genuine life options to consider, that there is room for movement. All the very best wishes, Mark
michael swamp on April 15 said:
I was sexually abused by my best friend.
we had been mates for years since infant school played evry night together for years.
Me and Jack went out for a drink and i got slaughted, he took me home and buggered me senseless, he had me bending this way that way some of it barely legal!
jack then commited suicide the day after why did he do this to me?
sam_d on April 16 said:
nice article…a great way of explaining a nervous breakdown - without making you feel like you are going crazy…sometimes people just need time out when things get too much…time out for yourself and noone else…a bit like re-charging your batteries when they are flat..people need to re-charge themselves as well - and if possible try avoiding medications and turn to natural therapies - reiki, massage, yoga, meditation…
Hannah on April 19 said:
This is for “anonymous on April 02” I could have written everything you did. It is exactly how I feel today, and yesterday, and the day before, etc. I am about to lose my friend of 20 years, the only person who really knows who I am and is still my friend. She has 3 children under the age of 12. Cancer will take her soon, when I have been the one praying for death for years. I wanted so badly to pull out in front of a large telephone repair truck this morning. I just want the pain to stop. I did get on an antidepressant last year when my friend was first diagnosed, but since the cancer has done nothing but got worse, to the point of being told she has months, the medication doesn’t do shyte. I have recently gotten a therapist, and honestly, I think bringing up some of the things I haven’t talked about in 9 years has made me crash to the point where I just had to look at my dog this morning and say, If I killed myself today, my misery would be over, but my pets misery would just begin, because it’s too hard to find good permanent homes for pets as is. I don’t like the comment that Mark made about “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” because that’s not true. But I did like the comparison of people who go through the most are like the best pieces of glass washed repeatedly by the ocean. Sadly, this piece of glass need to get out of the ocean of life and be on a quiet beach for a while. I know that I am headed towards a “nervous breakdown,” it’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning. I know that if I died, my pain would stop. It’s so tempting.
Mark Tyrrell on April 19 said:
Hello Hannah
I’m sorry to hear about all that’s been going on. And you’re right it is important to get out of the “ocean of life” sometimes and let things settle. It might be a good idea to see a therapist who is “solution focused” rather than purely wanting to focus on the past and what has gone wrong which is kind of what people do when they’re suffering anyway. A therapist should be able to help you relax and focus on meeting your life needs (or at least work towards meeting them).
Please please don’t give up-which I know is easy for me to say and if there is anything I can do please say.
Mark
Hannah on April 19 said:
Mark, thank you for the incredibly quick response. I just started seeing this therapist, she knows I am there mostly to learn how to stay strong for those 3 kids I adore so much when the lose their mom, but I hardly know how I am going to survive her loss myself. I think the reason I said that about “stuff from 9 years ago” is because I have never ever gotten over the man that broke my heart 9 years ago… NEVER. How sick is that to keep letting him haunt me? He married the other woman, she was so like me, just thinner. I lost him because I wasn’t thin enough. I had one ‘boyfriend’ after him, but haven’t had sex or another meaningful relationship with a man in over 7 years. I’m 39. I used to love sex!
Mark Tyrrell on April 19 said:
Hi Hannah
Well good/great sex is I think largely to do with the context in which it happens and who it’s with of course. But I don’t want to sell you a load of platitudes about the right person coming along etc ect..
Apart from the fact that your friend is so close to you-I imagine the pain of having lost the man who broke your heart as you say nine years ago is intensifying your fear of going through loss again. There are differences of course and this time around you have time to “prepare” but once we feel we have lost something very precious before then the anticipation of it happening again can seem unbearable. You need to ensure that you have support, help and time to have “time out.”
Mark
Nikki on April 21 said:
Just read the Lona’s story, it’s so similar to mine.
I had an abusive child hood with a narcissistic mother, she hated me and i could never understand what i did wrong.
I always tried to please her, but she was always critical. I grew into a strong, loving and compassionate woman.
BUT married 3 times to the wrong people, i had a flaw of feeling worthless, so any one who loved me, made me feel better. i was trying to fill the void from the love i never got from my mother, so to me any one no matter who they were was enough. But reality came through and my marriages all failed. At this point of my life, i can laugh, get on with the doctors and i know how to get along with people. These are the skills i learnt to survive after years of abuse. The problem now is, that i’m tired of it all too. i don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every thing seems like a big deal for me and over whelming. Even seeing friends or family depresses me. i don’t want to deal with any thing and i don’t care any more. i was diagnosed with severe depression 5 years ago, while i was married to an army major, who was physically abusive and mentally abusive. i am now single and live with my youngest son, we really don’t talk much to each other but we love each other. Any way i’m crying alot lately, feel lonely and i hate myself, i feel pathetic. I’m sick of every thing. nothing interests me any more. i’m still here only because of my sons, i know they still want me around. but i would love to turn off the lights, but i love my boys too much.I am 47. I’m on zoloft, xanax for depression and high anxiety. How can i get my joy back?
linda on May 02 said:
i always found a funny movie anything to make me laugh and forget about things for a while, its a distraction, esp when i am feelin really low. Try to think about positive things and not negitive, learning to cope in difficult situations eg; how could i have handled that better? not beating your self up for not doing it right the first time or how will i cope if this should happen? It is really hard to stop worrying but it doesn’t change anything the more you think about the problem the bigger it gets.If you really feel you need to think about the problem try putting 15 mins aside every day to think it over and then do your best to forget about it as much as you can, it is really hard, i know that but it works you find sometimes its not as big as you thought and i remember something that was said to me years ago there are some things in life you cannot change and you have to except that the other things that you can change focus on them in doing something, whether its having to face a fear or confront someone the more you do it the easier it becomes just a little bit at a time, i know for me i have imagined things much worse than it actually is, but would have never known that until i tried, if you can think what is the worst outcome that can happen and you can cope with that then do it.
I suffered from a severs mental breakdown 8 years ago, i was ill for over a year and a half i dont ever want to be like that again, i do regonise the signs and when i feel stressed i know i need to do something about it, i do beleive as a christian i dont really fear much anymore but it doest mean i dont get upset or worry i just know i have to except some things i cannot change and the things i can i try to as best i can.
I really hope this is some use to you.
Linda
Fried on May 11 said:
To Lona, and person who can be of help-
You have pretty much summed up my life. The circumstances that brought me all to where you are at are different, but from there on, it’s the same.
The sense of humor, professionals enjoying talking to me, often disclosing stuff (even family doc) stuff about their own life- they feel comfortable. My life has been made of making people laugh. I lived for it, and it was so much fun. (At work we would almost pee ourselves laughing- seriously.) But I am fried. I AM the definition of a nervous breakdown. And as well- people don’t ‘see’ anything wrong with me, when I am so done- with everything. The laughter is long gone. I don’t want to do anything, and I feel I deserve nothing. I am a shadow of myself. No more counsellors for me.
I haven’t slept for a long long time. For sleep- Trazadone, Gabapentin, one of the ‘pams’, not lorazapam, what else….way too much, and I wake too early- sometimes 2, 4, 6 hours of sleep a day, cannot nap. Ever try to function on 2 hrs of sleep and people expect you to be ‘normal’. Daytime- horrible parnate, and Lorazapam for severe anxiety, etc. I believe my central nervous system is shot, and how do you fix that? I relax NEVER- I live on the edge- ready to fall. My insides CANNOT relax. Does anyone have advice???
Michelle Heidstra on May 12 said:
My problems started when i was 12, I was seriously sexually assaulted, ( not raped ). I pushed it to the back of my mind, and never really spoke about it as i didn’t want to seem weak. Then at the age of 21 I was involved in a serious car crash and I was full term pregnant, and my baby girl was stillborn, and i was critically injured, having to spend 3 months in hospital, I was blessed a year later with a Son Callum, but still never spoke about my feelings as again I didn’t want to be seen as being weak. Then 7 1/2 years ago met a great man, Jonathan, 8 weeks into our relationship he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, he passed away 5 years ago, leaving me and our 15 month old Son, Sam. I feel like I can’t cope, I am hot one minute and freezing cold the next, I ache all over, I am shouting at Sam all the time and forever apologising to him for being nasty to him, I have never hit him though, I sometimes want to put a bullet through my head, I just can’t cope at the moment, I don’t know what to do. Michelle.
Mark Tyrrell on May 12 said:
Michelle I am so sorry to hear about all that has happened and I wish you the very best for the future of course (you are certainly due a lot of good luck now it seems!) but as you say you have been blessed with 2 children.
But as I know children can be hard work! I wonder if you feel things have reached a head recently for any reason? Are stresses particularly bad right now in your life? I’m also wondering whether you have any post traumatic stress symptoms such as intrusive memories from the past that keep coming up? You can tell if a memory is traumatic because, as well as the strong emotion associated with it, it tends to feel recent even if the memory is of something that happened a very long time ago.
If so then working with someone who can help you deal with these memories so that they no longer bother you might make a huge beneficial difference to the way you feel day to day at the moment.
You certainly need space to calm down and dare I say enjoy life. I hope you have supportive people in your life who you can talk to and who can also look after your kids sometimes.
Feel free to message me privately if you want to. Make sure you look after yourself because you have certainly been through it.
All my best
Mark
louise on May 19 said:
sending you a huge hug x
Nikki on May 20 said:
Hello Linda thank you for your comment, it helps.x
Hello Louise thank you for the hug, hugging you back x
Donna Wise on May 22 said:
I have had 3 nervous breakdowns in the past 10 yrs. The first lasted 3 wks, the second, 5 wks, and the third 9 wks and that one almost bankrupt me, as I could not work. Since then, I have been on depression/anxiety meds. But, I am starting to have some of the symptoms again and I am scared. Many of my symptoms are physical, which I guess is rare. I would like to have some of the hypnosis and relaxation materials mentioned here.
Mark Tyrrell on May 22 said:
Hello Donna
Well it is vital that you rest and calm your mind as much as possible right now so please let us know how you progress.
All best wishes
Mark
terry on May 26 said:
i’m lost i don’t know what to do confused lost every thing i had my world have been truned up side down i feel like my family don’t care about me not even my kids i’m not a bad person have never really did any thing have never been in any truable but i feel like such a failure like i don’t have any thing to live for offten think about killing my self . i don’t have no one to talk to i need some help is there help out there for people like me please help me i’m at the end of my rope.
Mark Tyrrell on May 26 said:
Hello terry
Please make sure you talk to someone who will understand how you feel or if needs be contact me privately by clicking on the ‘contact Mark’ tab at the top right of this page. The important things to remember (easy to say I know) is that it always feels permanent when it feels this bad but it will feel pass, you will have better times. Keep going, there are and will be people who care about you and please don’t do anything rash.
Take care of yourself
Mark
s.a on May 26 said:
I was diagnosed with PTSD five years ago at age 54..right after my father shot himself and my mom died a week later. I have been to many therapist since then, none have helped. I am now 59, raising my 6 yr. old twin grandkids, drive over 140 miles a day taking them to school, daughters to work, nephew to school, back again, 4-h afterschool group, a husband who has fibromyalgia so his is of NO help, ( not to mention no moral or comfort from him), and take care of my othe two grandkids 4 times a week ages 6 months and 3 yrs. IM NUTS!! Ive tried finding a doctor who will help me, I beleive Ive had a nervous breakdown, but it seems they all just say, “Go home an drest”.!! I need help.
Mark Tyrrell on May 27 said:
Hello s.a anybody in your situation I think would feel extremely stressed. And as you say it might be all worsened by PTSD the symptoms of which include flashbacks, nightmares and memories which seem just as vivid years later as when the incidents had just happened. If this is what you’ve been experiencing then it sounds exactly like PTSD which to suffer on top of all your commitments would be extremely tough.
If you message me privately by clicking on the ‘Contact Mark’ button we can perhaps find someone near you who is really skilled in treating PTSD. All my best, Mark
melissa johnson on May 30 said:
i have been thru alot of stress i loss my mom dad and bio dad in 2yrs i took care of them all my son is out of controll i cant get through to him i woke up this morning i havent been sleeping well so last night i couldnt get out didnt know were i was couldnt get up my husband works night i fonaly got out but still couldnt relize were i was at my mind is lost its a feeling i havent never went thru i know im home but still shaken inside and dont feel normal its like i cant find my way home its hard to write or think very well its like my mind is still telling me im not home so were am i my body is here do i need to go somewhere and where do igo i fell very sick to my stomach headache dizzy shaken have i went to far where am i how do i get back dreaming i was stuck some where and couldnt get out felt this all night i think i had a nervious breakdown
Glenda Locklear on June 01 said:
How long does it take to get over a major breakdown?
Mark Tyrrell on June 01 said:
Hello Glenda after a nervous breakdown a person tends to feel both physically and mentally exhausted. Plenty of rest and deep sleep (as opposed to “restless dream filled sleep which tends to be exhausting in itself) is needed. Confidence in yourself also needs to return and to really get over this kind of breakdown you need to start interacting with people you like again and finding enjoyment and fun in life again. We all need to feel connected to other people, to feel life has meaning and purpose, to give and receive attention from significant people in our lives so we can feel intimate, we need to feel valuable and valued and to have regular rest and relaxation-to laugh and feel interested by what we do. As to how long this takes there is no set time but many people who have felt themselves to be in the “deepest pit” of a nervous breakdown also recover within weeks sometimes.
What may take longer is arranging your future life in such a way that it is much less likely to ever happen again.
I hope this is useful
Mark
Stephen on June 04 said:
Through all the pain and suffering I lost my identity
I was able to stand beyond the thing of me
Like when I was abused and I was out, looking down at me and my abuser
I learnt to be an out of body looker at an early age
Then i forget about out of body
and experienced panic attacks and nervous breakdown
The i remembered that i was an out of body child
And the fear, anxiety and panic stopped
I had beaten my abuser
I had turned the tables
What he had done given me the gift of “out of body”
I will never look up now
Never look sideways
or straight
I will always look down
Look down at your abuser, for what they did was an act on your body, spirit, mind
And in so doing, you were released to the heavens where you can now see and love all. Abusers, lovers and all.
God bless
Stephen
Glenn on June 07 said:
I’ve been working on a big project for the last three and a half years. I’m an IT Manager and we replaced the entire system throughout our company. My main job was to write programs to move all the data from the old to the new systems. These were things like inventory, customer base, history, accounts payable, receivables, etc. The two were totally incompatible. This involved learning the new system as well as writing the programs. During this time I had to keep up with my regular work of supporting users, dealing with problems in hardware etc.
The pressure got to be too much. At that time my Doctor a psychiatrist abandoned his practice. I had to find another doctor. I started seeing a therapist as well.
The therapist knew that I was in a deep depression and gave me exercises as well as medication from my new doctor. The doctor notified my boss that it the pressure didn’t let up I was going to have a breakdown. They helped for a while. I stopped working nights and weekends and began to feel better. Walking and doing things other than work were key.
At the time of go-live, conversion to the new system, I worked the equivalent of 4 days on the 4 saturdays & sundays. The day of the actual conversion I worked 18 hours. If I hadn’t done this go-live would not have happened. There was no other person in the company that could do the job.
Things eased up after for a week or so. They do not let users contact me with questions that is all screened so that they don’t come to me unless there is no other option.
I’ve been working since fixing small problems and bugs that turn up. It is continuous work but it if something that is finished and completed after ten minutes, two days or whatever.
Then the bosses realized we needed to move the data from the old system to archives that would be accessible for history, research etc. It was given to me to do since still nobody else even understands what exactly needs doing. They have been pushing for me to get started on that project. I’m still not recovered from the last one. Go-live was may 2.
The last time they pushed I nearly blacked out. I went into a panic. Since then I’ve been unable to concentrate, don’t seem to get hungry or taste the food when I eat. I’m sleeping 12 or more hours each night. I’m get angry for no apparent reason, heart racing, flushing. I find myself at times just staring into space. I’ve tried to continue walking. I go to the mall and walk and shop or even get a massage. It has become something that I dread. It takes a huge effort to get myself there and then just walking is exhausting. And I have to admit sometimes I just blow it off and don’t go. I’ve also had some bad thoughts concerning harming myself.
I’m seeing my doctor this evening and the therapist tomorrow. Last week when I saw the therapist I couldn’t talk to him. I felt embarrassed or ashamed somhow. I had to leave. He really is a good guy and I have always been comfortable with him talking. Now I’m afraid.
I don’t understand what has happened to me only that I’m completely miserable. I actually thought writing this down may help somewhat.
Mark Tyrrell on June 07 said:
Hello Glen
Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I’m sure everyone here sympathizes and it’s such a clear account of how a build up of stress can sap energy, confidence and even, for a while, the capacity to get the real rest we need from sleep. All this can lead to feeling like you are having a nervous breakdown. Depression rides off the back of a build up of stress. I’m not suggesting you are depressed (just extremely stressed) but it might help for you to look at ‘The Depression Learning Path http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/ both to reassure you that what you are experiencing right now is totally normal and to help you understand why you’ve started feeling this way and also offer hope that it will pass and that you’ll once again feel calm, confidence and energetic-at least to the point that you were before.
All the very best
Mark
Stephen on June 07 said:
Glen, My background is the same as yours. Although my background came whilst i was working in video games development.
I have spent many years researching and I only found the answer about 6 months ago.
Basically it goes like this.
The work you are doing is unnatural to you.
As the stress increases you become disengaged from your true natural self, as the ego begins to fight with your body to the death.
The panics I experienced were a direct result of the intensity I was feeling from the ego. The more I pushed to finish the more the ego tried to usurp me. It would give me strange sensations like i was dying and eventually i couldn’t drive, fly, go on trains and the final act was to remove me from work. As a consequence I ended up with agarophobia, depression and PTSD. Believe me. You need to take your foot off the pedal. I spent the last 4 years living as a virtual recluse, getting more and more in debt.
Get the hell out of there. Its not worth your mental health.
Stephen
C Houdesh on June 13 said:
You said you went to Cathlic school & hopefully they taught you the word & how to use it. Get your Bible,then read & study it for yourself. I had gone to church most of my life but, like you perhaps, because I had to be there. When I ended up in much of the same feelings as you, I finally turned back to God & that was where I drew my strenghth, renewed my thinking & outlook about myself, forgave those who had misued me or taken advantage of me, was able to do without any meds which were very short term,(long term I felt they masked but didnt fix the problems I had),...& found out what a strong person I really am…probably for the first time in my life. It’s a healing process & not always easy. Stay focused, stick with it just a few minuets a day & it will make a differance. You will still be a blessing to others & you will feel blessed within as well. I lost my mother, my husband left me, & 6 of my close friends were killed or died within a 6 month period, I had no job & 2 small children. That is only part of the hardships…but it all turned out in such miraculus ways! I also learned that no matter how bad I thought my life was, there are always others who have it worse. If you would choose not to rekindle/strenghthen your faith, get postive,don’t let those negatives rain on your parade,don’t try to change what you can not & go on, love & accept yourself for who you are (God made you & he does not make junk!)
danielle on July 06 said:
WOW. I just came across this site and Lona hit the nail on the head for me, as well as a few of the others comments. Hopeless, lost, can’t laugh, want to sleep, depressed, alone (not lonely), anxious, unhappy, can’t shake the “mood”, etc…I have lost interest in pretty much everything and find life monotonous and mundane. I tried antidepressants and refuse to take them because they are like putting a bandaid on cancer. I NEED HELP! Serious HELP, not some drug that will supposedly make me feel better. I take Xanax for anxiety and sleep because there are no side affects. I am also suffering PTSD, my boyfriend killed himself last year and I figured as time went on, things would get better. Not great, but maybe even a bit better…I am feeling worse and worse by the day. It’s a struggle to wake up and try to get motivated. I only go out if I have to, I can’t seem to find the appropriate help for my problem(s), it’s like they don’t exist. People say “snap out of it” or “relax”, etc…and that just makes it worse. At least reading this thread has made me feel less alone, but I really need to find people who will totally understand what is going on in my brain. Thanks all…
marlene on July 20 said:
hi i to have these feelings. i visit my g p or therapist and know all the right things to say just so i can go home and pull the duvet over my head and avoid everyone. leaving the house is so scary i just dont know how to react anymore and i really dont want to talk to people. i have m e my family think going to bed or staying at home is because of the m e, but its not. this morning i looked in the mirror and thought maybe todays the day i give up completly. so why dont i because slowly therapy is teaching me that i can change the way i think , that its ok not to want to live my life the way it was. i cant see the light at the tunnel yet. but im going to trust the people the therapists who tell me its there and try to take the first step by showing my therapist this and letting her see the real me behind the fear and tears. i wish everybody going through this dreadful time the best of mental health and urge you to ask for help. and when they give you advice or goals take their hand and hold on for dear life as you make this painful journey. maybe it wont rain tommorow and if the sun shines we can all manage a tiny smile.