New self help articles are being added to the Personal Productivity section all the time. If you want to make sure you hear about the latest additions, subscribe by email, Twitter or RSS on the right hand side of the page.
Do You Have No Willpower?
Published 20 July, 2010 | Personal Productivity
I’m sure you’ve had times when your intentions were good, when you really believed what you wanted to do was positive and for the best…but somehow the actual doing of the exercise, focusing on that project, sticking to that diet, or building that business didn’t really materialize. Willpower matters because it helps make the possible real.
Why am I Depressed?
Published 13 July, 2010 | Depression Treatment
Knowing both how depression works and why you may be feeling a bit depressed at the moment can help you begin to combat it more effectively. The first question I want you to ask yourself is: What is my life lacking at the moment, causing me to feel depressed?
How to Tell if Someone is Lying
Published 28 June, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Research shows that most of us are terrible at spotting a liar, because we have all been trained to look for body language signals that are not actually associated with lying. I want to encourage you to forget all the body language clichés and focus on signs of lying that will tell you the truth.
Let Go of the Past
Published 16 June, 2010 | Thinking Skills
The present and future didn’t seem to exist for her. I suspected she’d had lots of the kind of ‘therapy’ that feels it’s best to dig continually into the past. What had all that historical focusing actually done for her?
Be a Great Conversation Starter: Talk to Strangers with Ease
Published 22 May, 2010 | Communication Skills
“Don’t talk to strangers!” To which a pedantic (and annoyingly bright) seven-year-old might reply: “What, never! How about when I’m forty; at a party or having a job interview?”
Overcome a Fear of Talking on the Phone
Published 8 May, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
He wasn’t merely anxious about using the phone; he was terrified. But he had good reason. During his wartime experience in the trenches, a shell had exploded just as he was dialling the telephone.
How to be More Punctual
Published 4 May, 2010 | Personal Productivity
A lack of punctuality is one of many ways to relay that special little signal: “You don’t really matter!”
Overcome Performance Anxiety
Published 28 April, 2010 | Stress Reduction
Performance anxiety gets in the way of performance because it clutters the mind just when your consciousness needs to be clear and ‘light’.
Stop Being a Hypochondriac
Published 21 April, 2010 | Health Tips
The paradox of hypochondria is that the sufferer often knows they are a hypochondriac even whilst maintaining they are justified in believing they are ill.
Stop Being So Defensive!
Published 12 April, 2010 | Dealing with Difficult People
If we’re caught in an avalanche, it’s a natural instinct to adopt the defensive posture and make like a foetus. But being emotionally defensive as a general strategy is self-destructive.
Stressed About Starting Your New Job?
Published 10 April, 2010 | Work Skills
Starting a new job feels daunting, like the first day in school. The unfamiliarity coupled with the stress of wanting to please can feel overwhelming…and too much stress makes it harder to concentrate and do a good job…causing more stress…! What can you do?
Overcome Victim Mentality
Published 8 April, 2010 | Thinking Skills
When you are proactive and put plans into action, you may find you don’t always have to wait for the ‘cage door’ to open. You may just find you can force it open yourself.
All About Sibling Rivalry
Published 6 April, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Sibling rivalry can be complex. You might love your sibling but resent them. What’s more, the intensity of your resentment can leave you baffled: “I’m an adult now; why does it still hurt so much?!”
The Antidepressant Industry’s Dirty Little Secret
Published 28 March, 2010 | Depression Treatment
I am not anti-medication, per se. But I am against medication that isn’t really medication at all. It wouldn’t matter so much that antidepressants are basically active placebos if the side effects weren’t so potentially nasty and dangerous.
Are You Shy When Naked?
Published 22 March, 2010 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Our bodies are an important part of who we are. It’s not that we have to shove nudity in people’s faces (unless we’re lap dancers) to show how wonderfully un-uptight we are. However, life becomes a little easier and more enjoyable when we can relax about nakedness when it does happen.
Are You Too Nice?
Published 18 March, 2010 | Communication Skills
Let’s face it: Lois Lane just didn’t fancy Clark Kent, did she? But why not? He was good-looking, gentle, kind, thoughtful, sensibly dressed…
Overcome the Fear of Going Crazy
Published 17 March, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
She fears she’s going crazy. He wants her to think she’s going mad so he can have her locked up in an institution. This scary plot from the 1944 film Gaslight hits a real nerve for many people. After all, who hasn’t sometimes worried they might be…well, losing it?
What’s the Difference Between Meditation and Hypnosis?
Published 16 March, 2010 | Relaxation Techniques
“What’s the difference between meditation and hypnosis?” I have been asked this question a thousand times. Both meditation and hypnosis require a certain kind of focus of mind - often (but not always) purposefully directed. I have a great deal of experience using hypnosis but less so with meditation, so the differences I cite here are my personal opinions. I welcome and encourage any meditative types to please comment if you feel I’ve missed anything.
Maximize Your Motivation, Determination, and Perseverance
Published 13 March, 2010 | Personal Productivity
As a prisoner of war in the steamy jungles of Vietnam, he held out for months, repeatedly refusing to sign documents decrying American aggression in Southeast Asia presented to him by the North Vietnamese after his crash and imprisonment. During these times, he drew inspiration from the memory of how his grandfather had been the only person in their village strong enough not to vote for Hitler during elections, despite threats of execution.
Overcome Needle Phobia
Published 10 March, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
David explained to me how he’d been traumatized at school when having inoculations. More recently, he’d tried to overcome his needle phobia by attempting to give blood. The terror had been so intense, he’d ripped out the needle and fainted.
Why Hypnotherapy Works for Weight Loss
Published 8 March, 2010 | Weight Loss Help
Hypnotherapy isn’t a pill (even most pills don’t work instantly). It’s not just a case of telling someone to be a certain way and that’s it, now they’re sorted…forever. Obesity is a condition that can have many different contributing factors.
Dealing with a Fear of Death
Published 5 March, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
Natural fear of death - such as any of us would experience if, say, confronted by an axe-wielding maniac or an aggressive illness - had for Gillian become an obsession, something that ate into, chewed up, and spat out her good times and kept her awake at nights.
Do You Have an Inferiority Complex?
Published 2 March, 2010 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Most of us compare ourselves to others. Mass media beams in the finest looking, richest, and most talented people into our lives 24/7. This creates the illusion that we ‘know’ all these beautiful, clever, younger, athletic, rich, able people. Because we compare ourselves to people we know, this illusion of knowing air-brushed ‘have-it-alls’ can make us feel correspondingly worse about ourselves.
Am I an Alcoholic?
Published 2 March, 2010 | Addiction Help
“Am I an alcoholic?” Lionel asked me with a tinge of desperation. I studied his face. Broken veins, dark under-eye circles, sunken cheeks. Lionel was thirty.
Selected Self-Confidence Building Activities
Published 26 February, 2010 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Self-confidence isn’t just about what you think or imagine, although that makes a huge difference. It’s also about actions. The activities you do, how you act and stretch yourself, are a vital part of building your self-confidence.
Are You a Coffee Addict?
Published 25 February, 2010 | Addiction Help
Geoff had come to see me for help with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Toward the end of the session, he casually mentioned: “Yeah, I love coffee; I drink twenty cups a day!”
Dealing with Moody People
Published 22 February, 2010 | Dealing with Difficult People
Some people profess to being attracted to moody types (unpredictability can be interesting), but if you’re over thirty (chronologically or emotionally), then moodiness in others has probably lost its appeal.
Increase Your Running Endurance
Published 22 February, 2010 | Exercise and Fitness
If you want to get the psychological edge (bearing in mind that the mind will always influence the body), then try these tips to up your running endurance to get fitter and/or to perform better in races and even smash records.
How to Handle the Pain of Unrequited Love
Published 20 February, 2010 | Relationship Advice
The concept of unrequited love may sound out of date. But, as evidenced by the huge number of people searching the term online, human concerns haven’t really changed all that much since good old Will Shakespeare purportedly wrote: “Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.”
How to Stop Lip Biting
Published 18 February, 2010 | Bad Habits
My teeth missed the hors d’oeuvre for which they’d been aiming and I bit painfully into my own lip. Ouch! You’d think that after a lifetime of eating practice, these kinds of nibbling errors would have been ironed out. I winced, pretending that nothing was awry as pain stabbed my lower lip like Norman Bates in a motel shower.
Natural wart treatment: How hypnosis can help
Published 12 February, 2010 | Health Tips
It used to be believed that warts were caught from handling frogs or, more specifically, toads (warts are viral, but not toad-related). It was also believed that the local practitioner of magic could ‘charm them’ away.
How to Go Back to Sleep
Published 12 February, 2010 | Sleep Problems
Deep sleep is something we all need for physical and mental health. Here I want to discuss specific ideas to help you drift back off to sleep after night time awakening.
How to Stop Obsessive Cleaning
Published 8 February, 2010 | Obsessive / Compulsive?
A woman joked to me once that she wished her husband could develop an addictive fascination with tidying! Could I, she wondered, help implant a “mania for cleanliness” in her husband using the dark arts of hypnosis?
How to Reduce High Blood Pressure Naturally
Published 3 February, 2010 | Health Tips
Elaine was well into her seventies when she came to see me, hoping that hypnosis could help her reduce her high blood pressure naturally and avoid the need for drugs. I asked her about her lifestyle and found that she had done - and was doing - all the things you too should do to naturally lower blood pressure.
Overcome Exam and Test Nerves
Published 29 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
Once, a beautiful princess sat by an ornate pool in her palace grounds. As she peered down, admiring her beautiful reflection in the surface of the clear pool, her priceless crown suddenly slipped from her head and into the waters with a splash.
Overcome Fear of the Dark
Published 27 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
“It’s ‘nyctophobia’. I feel embarrassed to admit it! I’m twenty-eight. It’s normally kids that have it. I manage eight people at work. I shouldn’t have this phobia, but I have. Can you help me?”
Do Your Relationships Damage Your Self-Esteem? (And what to do about it)
Published 26 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Your self-esteem shouldn’t be totally dependent on the person with whom you happen to be in a relationship. But the fact is, relationships do have a big impact on the way you feel. And that includes the way you feel about yourself.
The Non-Smoker’s Edge Review: Quit Smoking with Hypnosis
Published 22 January, 2010 | Hypnosis Reviews
I have to confess right off to being a non-smoker. Personally, I never had the willpower to start smoking by working through the initial revulsion until it felt okay. But I’ve helped hundreds quit smoking over the years, so was intrigued to review The Non-Smoker’s Edge.
Primal Blueprint Review
Published 20 January, 2010 | Hypnosis Reviews
You’ve heard it before - life comes without an instruction manual. You get cast out there, expected to fend for yourself, and no-one really knows how best to stay healthy and happy. Or do they?
How to Watch Less TV
Published 19 January, 2010 | Addiction Help
You’ve maybe heard it said that as a person is drowning, their whole life plays before their eyes. But imagine if most of your memories are not yours at all but made up of thousands of hours of other people’s experiences. Many people’s future memories will be passively absorbed chunks of other people’s lives glimpsed from tens of thousands of hours glued to the television. Will you be one of those people?
How to Drift Off to Sleep Effortlessly
Published 18 January, 2010 | Sleep Problems
What makes you happy? Riches? Beautiful clothes? Come on, we can do better than that. What about wonderful experiences? A glimpse of sunshine gently sliding though winter trees? A job well done? A skill mastered? Shared time with a friend or lover? Skipping through a meadow?
In an Abusive Relationship? Help Yourself Today
Published 15 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice
There it was again: a fresh but already yellowing circle around her eye. I swear the month before she’d carried, for a while, the puffed signs of a swollen jaw; not long before that she’d been wearing dark glasses on an overcast morning. She worked in our local post office. She always looked diffident, unsure, depressed. I never felt able to ask her about herself; the context was all wrong somehow. But I guessed that whoever she was going back to, again and again, was the centre of her Universe - and not in a good way.
Overcome Phobia of Being Alone
Published 13 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears
Being alone can be a pleasure, a self-imposed state induced by social anxiety, or enough to cause a fear amounting to phobia (sometimes called monophobia) so bad that it drives people to do anything other than spend time alone. The person who is terrified of being alone feels fundamentally unsafe and unable to look after themselves. Other people are related to as surrogate parents rather than, say, romantic partners.
5 Natural Impotence Remedies
Published 12 January, 2010 | Sexual Problems
What did I do to help Philip with impotence? Well, you can read about some of the approaches in my article “Male Sexual Enhancement Techniques” - such as how to maximize your psychological attitude to sex, as well as some exercises you can do to strengthen erections (here’s a hint: they don’t involve gym membership). But here are some other tips and techniques to help rectify the ‘collapse of stout party’ and get you relaxed and hard during lovemaking.
Increase Emotional Intimacy in Relationships
Published 29 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Strange one, this: how can we live with someone, see them every day, sleep with them (Biblically and otherwise), share all kinds of experiences, but still not feel emotionally intimate with them? Candice was telling me the reasons why she felt she’d had to divorce her husband.
Speak Clearly
Published 23 December, 2009 | Communication Skills
I was enjoying a self-righteously healthy salad in a café in town the other day, minding my own business, craning to hear other people’s conversation. Two young women with one guy were chatting:
“So, he’s like, you know, ‘No way!’ So, I goes, ‘Way!’ And he’s like, ‘What?’ So I goes, ‘What what?’ So he goes, ‘What you on about?’ So I’m like, ‘What are you like!’”
Are You Scared of Driving?
Published 21 December, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
Some people should be scared of driving. I refer, of course, to the maniac driver. You cower in the passenger seat rapidly finding God (any god) to pray to furiously. Your foot involuntarily applies imaginary brakes and you energetically decline any future lift offers with the excuse that walking is good for your blood pressure (at least more so than being in a car with that maniac). But some perfectly capable drivers don’t drive due to fear. What can be done?
How to Boost Self-Esteem
Published 18 December, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
If you have low self-esteem then you are better than you think you are. This is the definition of low self-esteem. When your self-esteem improves, it’s because your self-knowledge has improved; just as the ugly duckling in Hans Christian Anderson’s famous tale had to learn its true nature before it could become fulfilled.
Overcome that Fear of Confrontation
Published 17 December, 2009 | Social Anxiety
She was intimidating - twenty years older than my 23 summers - but I had to confront her. I was her manager and her bullying of another female member of staff had to stop.
Achieving Alcohol Withdrawal
Published 8 December, 2009 | Addiction Help
Alcohol withdrawal needs to be approached in just the right way and if you have been drinking profusely, then I urge you to seek medical assistance. The tips in this article can be used as an adjunct to supervised medical alcohol withdrawal.
How to Cure Insomnia Naturally
Published 4 December, 2009 | Sleep Problems
“Sleep. That’s all I need, just some sleep. I’ve suffered insomnia for years and it’s got worse.” Natalie was in her fifties. She told me how she had driven around New Zealand recently and barely slept a wink the whole time. “I’ve always had trouble switching off, getting to sleep, and staying asleep. I was on sleeping pills but they didn’t help. I’ve tried hypnotherapy, exercising during the day, even faith healing! You’d think driving all day in New Zealand would have worn me out enough to sleep, but it didn’t.”
Put the spark, fun and excitement back into your relationship
Published 2 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice
There they sat, both about fifty. I guessed they’d been together since Paleo times, but even so, I was struck by the sheer boredom emanating from each of them toward one another. They didn’t speak; not an angry silence, but a “What possibly else can there ever be to talk about? We’ve said it all.” Maybe I’d caught them on an off day, but I’d seen them having lunch in this pub before and it was always the same.
How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think
Published 1 December, 2009 | Social Anxiety
I’ve met people who don’t care at all what others think. These may be lovely people in some ways, but they tend to do to social situations what, say, an unseasonable heat wave might do to the Winter Olympics. Still, in some ways you can envy them.
How to Stop Compulsive Lying
Published 23 November, 2009 | Bad Habits
Turns out Claire had lied since she was little. Recently she’d lied at work, telling everyone she was terminally ill with cancer. She’d got a huge amount of sympathy and attention, not to mention extended time off. Now she’d been found out and fired.
How to Stop Pulling Out Your Eyelashes
Published 19 November, 2009 | Bad Habits
I could understand Marilyn pulling out her own eyelashes, but even she sounded shocked with what she went on to tell me: “I’ve taken to obsessively tearing out my three-year-old daughter’s eyelashes and nibbling them! It’s sick, I know; but it’s become such a compulsion.”
How to Control Your Emotions
Published 17 November, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Once there lived an old man who kept all different kinds of animals. But his grandson was particularly intrigued by two tigers that lived together in one cage. The tigers had different temperaments; one was calm and self-controlled whilst the other was unpredictable, aggressive, violent, and vicious.
How to Keep a Cool Head
Published 16 November, 2009 | Stress Reduction
“They called me ‘Mr Cool’. I was the guy that diffused live bombs. I was totally calm, detached, and professional before, during, and after an operation. But all I can say is I’ve lost my cool.”
Spotting Nervous Breakdown Symptoms
Published 13 November, 2009 | Stress Reduction
“She’s had a nervous breakdown!” Half whispers, hushed tones, fear; something strange, to my young mind, had happened to “the woman down the street at number 36.” I had no idea what a nervous breakdown was or what the symptoms were, but I sensed it was an awful, mysterious, terrifying thing.
Overcome Noise Sensitivity
Published 12 November, 2009 | Health Tips
Noise sensitivity - technically known as misophonia - isn’t just a mild irritation or dislike of noises. For the sufferer, the noises become over-riding obsessions and can lead to depression, anxiety, and severe anger.
Shopping Addiction – Help You Can Use Now
Published 11 November, 2009 | Addiction Help
Dan had a shopping addiction. I doubt whether he even used that £10,000 camera and, thankfully, I talked him into taking it back and getting a refund. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Stop Pulling Your Hair Out
Published 4 November, 2009 | Bad Habits
5 tips to help you overcome trichotillomaniaShe was a glamorous woman, no doubt: a lovely complexion, beautiful teeth, and full luscious hair; only it wasn’t. Laura removed the wig shamefacedly to reveal shredded follicles and patches of bare raw scalp like a ravaged crop field. Her eyes welled up.
How to Improve Blood Circulation
Published 30 October, 2009 | Health Tips
“I’ve been told I’ve got poor blood circulation and if I don’t do something about it, I could be dead before I’m fifty!” Brian was morbidly overweight, stank of cigarettes, and admitted to a “terrible temper” - all these things individually can contribute to high blood pressure.
Male Sexual Enhancement Techniques
Published 28 October, 2009 | Sexual Problems
“I was the first woman George ever slept with. I’m far more sexually experienced than him, but it feels ridiculous telling him what to do. He’s got no idea! He’s clumsy, sometimes he can’t get it up at all, or he ejaculates in less time than it takes the kettle to boil!”
How to Be More Attractive
Published 27 October, 2009 | Dating Advice
I had merely exclaimed to a pal (perhaps a tinge enviously) how women seemed to fall at his feet. How did it happen? I was still under the illusion that looks were all when it came to dating, but Matt didn’t have looks, he wasn’t tall or rugged, but he was funny, razor sharp, confident, knew how to talk, and he had his own unique style. In short, he had ‘something about him’ in bucket loads.
Learn Self-Forgiveness and Release the Pressure
Published 26 October, 2009 | Stress Reduction
Joan had been a model wife since the “stabbing incident” and her husband loved and appreciated her despite the squabble twenty-eight years before that had ended up with him in hospital
How to Increase Libido
Published 23 October, 2009 | Relationship Advice
The 78-year-old man looked at me and sighed, “I’d give anything to have an erection again!” I’ll speedily add that this was in a clinical setting, not a social one. He’d been depressed and had lost his libido in the bargain. Depression and, to some extent (though less than you might think), age certainly do have a dampening effect on sex drive.
7 Savvy Study Techniques to Keep You Learning
Published 22 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity
“My problem has always been that I can’t study. By trying one study technique after another, I scrape by, but I never really get the grades I could be getting. But there’s no scraping by with these tests. I’ve got to knuckle down and study!”
5 Nifty Tips to Stop Blushing
Published 21 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Robert had become stuck in a vicious cycle: he blushed when he was embarrassed, then became embarrassed because he was blushing! So he blushed some more. Recent research shows that the more we think we are blushing, the more we blush
How to Stop Shy Bladder Syndrome
Published 20 October, 2009 | Health Tips
Okay, we’ve all been there (help me out here, fellas): you’re standing at the urinal; you want to go, but…you just can’t. Anxiety, embarrassment, self-consciousness, feeling pressured around others; whatever the cause, most of us have sometimes experienced shy or ‘bashful bladder’.
Overcome Fear of Heights
Published 19 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
I’d never had a fear of heights until now, but as the crane took me higher, I noticed with increasing alarm the sounds from the ground far below now becoming muted; the crowd distant. Oh no! I began to breathe rapidly and sweat like a dressed up pig in a sauna whilst my thoughts raced away quicker than a missed train.
How to Be a More Manly Man
Published 16 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity
We males have much higher levels of testosterone pumping around our systems, making us more naturally suited to risk taking, competitiveness, and physical activity. To deny masculine traits is to deny our birthright.
Do You Wonder How to Be More Feminine?
Published 15 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Okay, right off, you might think: “Who the heck is he, a man, to tell me, a woman, how to be more feminine! How dare he? Humph!"
Well, I figured women write about men and masculinity, so I’m going to write about femininity.
Fear of Abandonment
Published 14 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
“I used to have this recurring nightmare. I’d be standing on a rain swept street corner - utterly alone - totally abandoned, lost…I always wondered why I had that dream. Then one day, it happened for real. My ma walked out on all of us!”
How to Build Self-Confidence
Published 13 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Self-confidence isn’t there just to make you feel good. We need self-confidence to drive our aspirations to make them real; it’s as much a vehicle as a destination in itself. What’s more, when you are self-confident others feel it and can’t help but respond.
Relieve Tension in Your Mind and Body
Published 9 October, 2009 | Stress Reduction
Tension may be okay in the short-term, but long-term it’s a warning. Here are some ways for you to relieve tension to make sure you can become more productive, healthy, and satisfied with your life.
Boost Your Self-Motivation Today
Published 8 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity
You are able to be incredibly self-motivated! It’s true. We all are, given the right context. If I park my car on your toe, your true motivation for action would manifest immediately - motivation for me to get my darn car off your foot! If you develop a terrible itch, the really intense kind on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the itchiest), how compelled are you to scratch it? Motivation in these contexts is easy to produce.
How to Overcome Fear of Flying
Published 7 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
Some people think they have a fear of flying when what they really experience is claustrophobia; not liking to feel ‘shut in’. Here I want to focus on fear of flying proper.
Best Man Speech Tips: Relax, Inspire, and Amuse
Published 6 October, 2009 | Communication Skills
He’d been so terrified of his best man’s speech he drunk half a bottle of whisky, tripped over the microphone, and belched casually at the audience before stumbling away. He’d made an impact all right, but not the one he (not to mention the bride and groom) had hoped for.
How to Pass Your Driving Test
Published 5 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
I had expected to pass my driving test the first time, but as the little old lady dived out the way like a stunt extra from a Die Hard movie, doubt began to creep in. I swerved and she leapt, somersaulting down a grassy knoll (I exaggerate slightly).
How to Stop Negative Thinking in 7 Simple Steps
Published 2 October, 2009 | Thinking Skills
As someone once said: “Life’s problems reveal who we really are!” and that’s true; negative thinkers can “yeah, but” when things are going great. On the other hand, the more resilient of positive thinkers can remain upbeat when times are tough.
How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxiety
Published 1 October, 2009 | Sexual Problems
Worrying about outcome blocks performance. And sexual performance anxiety is no different. Sex needs to be relaxed, spontaneous, and fun; a chance to deepen intimacy and be absorbed only in the immediate… Instead, many men feel it is a test of their manhood. But ‘tests’ can be passed or failed - and that’s the problem.
How to Improve Memory and Concentration
Published 30 September, 2009 | Memory and Learning
Concentration is vital if you want to achieve anything. How and on what you focus determines what kind of life you have. Any great piece of music, painting, tennis stroke, surgical procedure, book, hoop shot, building, movie, or computer programming can only come about through the transforming power of deep and prolonged concentration.
7 Techniques for Overcoming Social Phobia
Published 29 September, 2009 | Social Anxiety
“I’m okay in a work context or when things are a bit more formal and organized, because I know what to talk about. But as soon as it’s kind of unregulated – you know, just mixing with other people – I go to pieces. It’s like I need a well-defined focus or I panic!”
Stop Impulse Buying Ruining Your Financial Future
Published 28 September, 2009 | Obsessive / Compulsive?
“It’s as if I’m hypnotized, sucked into the moment. I just forget everything: the mortgage, my kids. All I see is what I want and it’s as if getting it will make me happy! And it does…for a few moments.”
Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
Published 25 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
“If he’s quiet I actually start panicking! I’m thinking: What’s he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don’t know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do?”
The 9 Secrets of a Happy Marriage
Published 24 September, 2009 | Marriage Help
Some couples argue passionately but still have a happy marriage. Others argue less but when they do, the relationship is severely damaged. What’s the difference?
Stop Arguing Your Relationships to Death
Published 23 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Sure, most of us argue sometimes and it would be a boring world if we all saw things in exactly the same way. But destructive arguing can destroy valuable relationships. The opposite of arguing isn’t agreement in all things, it’s knowing how to disagree and still maintain mutual respect and liking.
Get Control of Your Own Alcohol Abuse
Published 22 September, 2009 | Addiction Help
Think of the words we use to describe taking alcohol: A quick ‘jar’, a ‘nip, bevy, wee dram’ – we have affectionate terms for drinks and that’s a problem. Seeing something as a supportive friend when it’s undermining your very existence makes it all the harder to quit. Of course no ‘friend’ should be a problem. A thief may seem charming, companionable, and cute – but they are still a thief.
7 Self-Discipline Techniques
Published 21 September, 2009 | Personal Productivity
Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential. Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential.
7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
Published 18 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Kevin admitted that when they went out in public, he would insist she sit toward a wall so that she couldn’t see (or be seen by) other potential attractive mates. If he caught her chatting or joking with male neighbours or colleagues, he would assume right off she was having an affair. She had stopped seeing a really good male friend she’d known since childhood and he’d “banned” her from chatting to a 70-year-old married man who lived next door. This was maddening.
7 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
Published 17 September, 2009 | Social Anxiety
Fear should keep us alert and safe - like the beam from a lighthouse warning ships of submerged dangers. But too much fear, like a super-beam of light blinding the ship’s captain, can cause the loss of the very thing we feared losing.
How to Stop Teeth Grinding
Published 16 September, 2009 | Bad Habits
Teeth grinding used to really bug a pal of mine. He’d wake in the morning with an aching jaw, he’d catch himself grinding absentmindedly during the day, and pretty soon his teeth started to look like crumbling tombstones in a bad western movie.
Inflate Your Dating Confidence
Published 15 September, 2009 | Dating Advice
Dave felt uncertain about his looks, he thought his conversation was boring and felt he might run out of things to say. He reminded himself that women find confident men attractive. Somehow this thought made him feel even worse. And he knew he was thinking too much. The trouble was he’d known (even through the alcoholic haze) that Sue was the kind of woman he could really get to like. He sat waiting…
Overcome Obsessive Thoughts
Published 14 September, 2009 | Obsessive / Compulsive?
Obsessive thoughts breed compulsive actions. The mother who feels that unless she waves five times at her son as he goes to school something bad will happen to him, the anxious businessman who has to ‘avert disaster’ before boarding a plane by clearing his throat thirty times, or the young girl who can keep her parents safe by walking around her bed 50 times before sleeping. Obsessive thoughts often have this element of superstition about them.
Overcome Masturbation Addiction
Published 11 September, 2009 | Addiction Help
“It feels compulsive now,” he told me. “It’s worse when I’m stressed and I’ve even started doing it in the restroom at work! It’s as if I can’t have an erotic thought or even a stressful situation without feeling I have to go masturbate!”
Who Wouldn’t Want to Be More Charismatic?
Published 10 September, 2009 | Dating Advice
If you’re in the market to be more charismatic, here’s a riddle for you: What makes you attractive even if you’re ugly? What moves people to take notice even if you’re penniless? What invisible ‘magic’ can seduce, convince, inspire, and mesmerize others? You’re ahead of me - it’s charisma, of course. Like gravity, which cannot be seen but has powerful effects, we can’t ‘see’ charisma but we know when someone has it.
Overcome Shyness in 5 Easy Steps
Published 8 September, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem
Her shyness was typical: Fear of meeting new people, lack of self-confidence, self-consciousness, and feeling by turns ‘invisible’ or all too visible. But she now reckons she has got rid of 95% of her shyness.
I’d like to share with you some of the tips and techniques I used to help her.
How to Overcome Porn Addiction and Get Your Life Back
Published 7 September, 2009 | Addiction Help
Internet porn addiction, like online gambling, is easier to fall into, because what once involved going out and meeting others face-to-face can now be done easily and covertly at the click of a button. This availability makes it all the more potentially devastating. So why does porn addiction happen?
Better language learning tips
Published 4 September, 2009 | Memory and Learning
It was a beautiful Spanish spring day. I sat in a café in a small southern village, the light lazily playing on my face as it filtered through intertwined branches above. The smell of fresh oranges wafted on the warming breeze and a church bell sounded from the other end of the valley. Then something amazing happened.
7 Steps to Stop a Panic Attack
Published 3 September, 2009 | Overcoming Fears
“One moment I was driving along thinking about work. The next, I felt like I was going to die! I got really hot, started breathing hard, began to sweat, became tearful, and my pounding heart felt like it was going to burst!” She trembled as she spoke; even recalling it made her tearful.
Get help unlike any other from Mark Tyrrell, therapist and co-founder of Uncommon Knowledge.
|
“