Latest self help articles

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Overcome Needle Phobia

Published 10 March, 2010 | Overcoming Fears

David explained to me how he’d been traumatized at school when having inoculations. More recently, he’d tried to overcome his needle phobia by attempting to give blood. The terror had been so intense, he’d ripped out the needle and fainted.


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Why Hypnotherapy Works for Weight Loss

Published 8 March, 2010 | Weight Loss Help

Hypnotherapy isn’t a pill (even most pills don’t work instantly). It’s not just a case of telling someone to be a certain way and that’s it, now they’re sorted…forever. Obesity is a condition that can have many different contributing factors.


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Dealing with a Fear of Death

Published 5 March, 2010 | Overcoming Fears

Natural fear of death - such as any of us would experience if, say, confronted by an axe-wielding maniac or an aggressive illness - had for Gillian become an obsession, something that ate into, chewed up, and spat out her good times and kept her awake at nights.


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Do You Have an Inferiority Complex?

Published 2 March, 2010 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Most of us compare ourselves to others. Mass media beams in the finest looking, richest, and most talented people into our lives 24/7. This creates the illusion that we ‘know’ all these beautiful, clever, younger, athletic, rich, able people. Because we compare ourselves to people we know, this illusion of knowing air-brushed ‘have-it-alls’ can make us feel correspondingly worse about ourselves.


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Am I an Alcoholic?

Published 2 March, 2010 | Addiction Help

“Am I an alcoholic?” Lionel asked me with a tinge of desperation. I studied his face. Broken veins, dark under-eye circles, sunken cheeks. Lionel was thirty.


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Selected Self-Confidence Building Activities

Published 26 February, 2010 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Self-confidence isn’t just about what you think or imagine, although that makes a huge difference. It’s also about actions. The activities you do, how you act and stretch yourself, are a vital part of building your self-confidence.


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Are You a Coffee Addict?

Published 25 February, 2010 | Addiction Help

Geoff had come to see me for help with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Toward the end of the session, he casually mentioned: “Yeah, I love coffee; I drink twenty cups a day!”


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Dealing with Moody People

Published 22 February, 2010 | Dealing with Difficult People

Some people profess to being attracted to moody types (unpredictability can be interesting), but if you’re over thirty (chronologically or emotionally), then moodiness in others has probably lost its appeal.


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Increase Your Running Endurance

Published 22 February, 2010 | Exercise and Fitness

If you want to get the psychological edge (bearing in mind that the mind will always influence the body), then try these tips to up your running endurance to get fitter and/or to perform better in races and even smash records.


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How to Handle the Pain of Unrequited Love

Published 20 February, 2010 | Relationship Advice

The concept of unrequited love may sound out of date. But, as evidenced by the huge number of people searching the term online, human concerns haven’t really changed all that much since good old Will Shakespeare purportedly wrote: “Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.”


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How to Stop Lip Biting

Published 18 February, 2010 | Bad Habits

My teeth missed the hors d’oeuvre for which they’d been aiming and I bit painfully into my own lip. Ouch! You’d think that after a lifetime of eating practice, these kinds of nibbling errors would have been ironed out. I winced, pretending that nothing was awry as pain stabbed my lower lip like Norman Bates in a motel shower.


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Natural wart treatment: How hypnosis can help

Published 12 February, 2010 | Health Tips

It used to be believed that warts were caught from handling frogs or, more specifically, toads (warts are viral, but not toad-related). It was also believed that the local practitioner of magic could ‘charm them’ away.


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How to Go Back to Sleep

Published 12 February, 2010 | Sleep Problems

Deep sleep is something we all need for physical and mental health. Here I want to discuss specific ideas to help you drift back off to sleep after night time awakening.


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How to Stop Obsessive Cleaning

Published 8 February, 2010 | Obsessive / Compulsive?

A woman joked to me once that she wished her husband could develop an addictive fascination with tidying! Could I, she wondered, help implant a “mania for cleanliness” in her husband using the dark arts of hypnosis?


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How to Reduce High Blood Pressure Naturally

Published 3 February, 2010 | Health Tips

Elaine was well into her seventies when she came to see me, hoping that hypnosis could help her reduce her high blood pressure naturally and avoid the need for drugs.  I asked her about her lifestyle and found that she had done - and was doing - all the things you too should do to naturally lower blood pressure.


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Overcome Exam and Test Nerves

Published 29 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears

Once, a beautiful princess sat by an ornate pool in her palace grounds. As she peered down, admiring her beautiful reflection in the surface of the clear pool, her priceless crown suddenly slipped from her head and into the waters with a splash.


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Overcome Fear of the Dark

Published 27 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears

“It’s ‘nyctophobia’. I feel embarrassed to admit it! I’m twenty-eight. It’s normally kids that have it. I manage eight people at work. I shouldn’t have this phobia, but I have. Can you help me?”


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Do Your Relationships Damage Your Self-Esteem? (And what to do about it)

Published 26 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice

Your self-esteem shouldn’t be totally dependent on the person with whom you happen to be in a relationship. But the fact is, relationships do have a big impact on the way you feel. And that includes the way you feel about yourself.


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The Non-Smoker’s Edge: Quit Smoking with Hypnosis Review

Published 22 January, 2010 | Hypnosis Reviews

I have to confess right off to being a non-smoker. Personally, I never had the willpower to start smoking by working through the initial revulsion until it felt okay. But I’ve helped hundreds quit smoking over the years, so was intrigued to listen to The Non-Smoker’s Edge.


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Primal Blueprint Review

Published 20 January, 2010 | Hypnosis Reviews

You’ve heard it before - life comes without an instruction manual. You get cast out there, expected to fend for yourself, and no-one really knows how best to stay healthy and happy. Or do they?


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How to Watch Less TV

Published 19 January, 2010 | Addiction Help

You’ve maybe heard it said that as a person is drowning, their whole life plays before their eyes. But imagine if most of your memories are not yours at all but made up of thousands of hours of other people’s experiences. Many people’s future memories will be passively absorbed chunks of other people’s lives glimpsed from tens of thousands of hours glued to the television. Will you be one of those people?


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How to Drift Off to Sleep Effortlessly

Published 18 January, 2010 | Sleep Problems

What makes you happy? Riches? Beautiful clothes? Come on, we can do better than that. What about wonderful experiences? A glimpse of sunshine gently sliding though winter trees? A job well done? A skill mastered? Shared time with a friend or lover? Skipping through a meadow?


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In an Abusive Relationship? Help Yourself Today

Published 15 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice

There it was again: a fresh but already yellowing circle around her eye. I swear the month before she’d carried, for a while, the puffed signs of a swollen jaw; not long before that she’d been wearing dark glasses on an overcast morning. She worked in our local post office. She always looked diffident, unsure, depressed. I never felt able to ask her about herself; the context was all wrong somehow. But I guessed that whoever she was going back to, again and again, was the centre of her Universe - and not in a good way.


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Overcome Phobia of Being Alone

Published 13 January, 2010 | Overcoming Fears

Being alone can be a pleasure, a self-imposed state induced by social anxiety, or enough to cause a fear amounting to phobia (sometimes called monophobia) so bad that it drives people to do anything other than spend time alone. The person who is terrified of being alone feels fundamentally unsafe and unable to look after themselves. Other people are related to as surrogate parents rather than, say, romantic partners.


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5 Natural Impotence Remedies

Published 12 January, 2010 | Sexual Problems

What did I do to help Philip with impotence? Well, you can read about some of the approaches in my article “Male Sexual Enhancement Techniques” - such as how to maximize your psychological attitude to sex, as well as some exercises you can do to strengthen erections (here’s a hint: they don’t involve gym membership). But here are some other tips and techniques to help rectify the ‘collapse of stout party’ and get you relaxed and hard during lovemaking.


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Increase Emotional Intimacy in Relationships

Published 29 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice

Strange one, this: how can we live with someone, see them every day, sleep with them (Biblically and otherwise), share all kinds of experiences, but still not feel emotionally intimate with them? Candice was telling me the reasons why she felt she’d had to divorce her husband.


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Speak Clearly

Published 23 December, 2009 | Communication Skills

I was enjoying a self-righteously healthy salad in a café in town the other day, minding my own business, craning to hear other people’s conversation. Two young women with one guy were chatting:


“So, he’s like, you know, ‘No way!’ So, I goes, ‘Way!’ And he’s like, ‘What?’ So I goes, ‘What what?’ So he goes, ‘What you on about?’ So I’m like, ‘What are you like!’”

 


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Are You Scared of Driving?

Published 21 December, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

Some people should be scared of driving. I refer, of course, to the maniac driver. You cower in the passenger seat rapidly finding God (any god) to pray to furiously. Your foot involuntarily applies imaginary brakes and you energetically decline any future lift offers with the excuse that walking is good for your blood pressure (at least more so than being in a car with that maniac). But some perfectly capable drivers don’t drive due to fear. What can be done?


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How to Boost Self-Esteem

Published 18 December, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

If you have low self-esteem then you are better than you think you are. This is the definition of low self-esteem. When your self-esteem improves, it’s because your self-knowledge has improved; just as the ugly duckling in Hans Christian Anderson’s famous tale had to learn its true nature before it could become fulfilled.


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Overcome that Fear of Confrontation

Published 17 December, 2009 | Social Anxiety

She was intimidating - twenty years older than my 23 summers - but I had to confront her. I was her manager and her bullying of another female member of staff had to stop.


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Achieving Alcohol Withdrawal

Published 8 December, 2009 | Addiction Help

Alcohol withdrawal needs to be approached in just the right way and if you have been drinking profusely, then I urge you to seek medical assistance. The tips in this article can be used as an adjunct to supervised medical alcohol withdrawal.


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How to Cure Insomnia Naturally

Published 4 December, 2009 | Sleep Problems

“Sleep. That’s all I need, just some sleep. I’ve suffered insomnia for years and it’s got worse.” Natalie was in her fifties. She told me how she had driven around New Zealand recently and barely slept a wink the whole time. “I’ve always had trouble switching off, getting to sleep, and staying asleep. I was on sleeping pills but they didn’t help. I’ve tried hypnotherapy, exercising during the day, even faith healing! You’d think driving all day in New Zealand would have worn me out enough to sleep, but it didn’t.”


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Put the spark, fun and excitement back into your relationship

Published 2 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice

There they sat, both about fifty. I guessed they’d been together since Paleo times, but even so, I was struck by the sheer boredom emanating from each of them toward one another. They didn’t speak; not an angry silence, but a “What possibly else can there ever be to talk about? We’ve said it all.” Maybe I’d caught them on an off day, but I’d seen them having lunch in this pub before and it was always the same.


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How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think

Published 1 December, 2009 | Social Anxiety

I’ve met people who don’t care at all what others think. These may be lovely people in some ways, but they tend to do to social situations what, say, an unseasonable heat wave might do to the Winter Olympics. Still, in some ways you can envy them.


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How to Stop Compulsive Lying

Published 23 November, 2009 | Bad Habits

Turns out Claire had lied since she was little. Recently she’d lied at work, telling everyone she was terminally ill with cancer. She’d got a huge amount of sympathy and attention, not to mention extended time off. Now she’d been found out and fired.


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How to Stop Pulling Out Your Eyelashes

Published 19 November, 2009 | Bad Habits

I could understand Marilyn pulling out her own eyelashes, but even she sounded shocked with what she went on to tell me: “I’ve taken to obsessively tearing out my three-year-old daughter’s eyelashes and nibbling them! It’s sick, I know; but it’s become such a compulsion.”


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How to Control Your Emotions

Published 17 November, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Once there lived an old man who kept all different kinds of animals. But his grandson was particularly intrigued by two tigers that lived together in one cage. The tigers had different temperaments; one was calm and self-controlled whilst the other was unpredictable, aggressive, violent, and vicious.


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How to Keep a Cool Head

Published 16 November, 2009 | Stress Reduction

“They called me ‘Mr Cool’. I was the guy that diffused live bombs. I was totally calm, detached, and professional before, during, and after an operation. But all I can say is I’ve lost my cool.”


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Spotting Nervous Breakdown Symptoms

Published 13 November, 2009 | Stress Reduction

“She’s had a nervous breakdown!” Half whispers, hushed tones, fear; something strange, to my young mind, had happened to “the woman down the street at number 36.” I had no idea what a nervous breakdown was or what the symptoms were, but I sensed it was an awful, mysterious, terrifying thing.


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Overcome Noise Sensitivity

Published 12 November, 2009 | Health Tips

Noise sensitivity - technically known as misophonia - isn’t just a mild irritation or dislike of noises. For the sufferer, the noises become over-riding obsessions and can lead to depression, anxiety, and severe anger.


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Shopping Addiction – Help You Can Use Now

Published 11 November, 2009 | Addiction Help

Dan had a shopping addiction. I doubt whether he even used that £10,000 camera and, thankfully, I talked him into taking it back and getting a refund. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.


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Stop Pulling Your Hair Out

Published 4 November, 2009 | Bad Habits

5 tips to help you overcome trichotillomaniaShe was a glamorous woman, no doubt: a lovely complexion, beautiful teeth, and full luscious hair; only it wasn’t. Laura removed the wig shamefacedly to reveal shredded follicles and patches of bare raw scalp like a ravaged crop field. Her eyes welled up.


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How to Improve Blood Circulation

Published 30 October, 2009 | Health Tips

“I’ve been told I’ve got poor blood circulation and if I don’t do something about it, I could be dead before I’m fifty!” Brian was morbidly overweight, stank of cigarettes, and admitted to a “terrible temper” - all these things individually can contribute to high blood pressure.


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Male Sexual Enhancement Techniques

Published 28 October, 2009 | Sexual Problems

“I was the first woman George ever slept with. I’m far more sexually experienced than him, but it feels ridiculous telling him what to do. He’s got no idea! He’s clumsy, sometimes he can’t get it up at all, or he ejaculates in less time than it takes the kettle to boil!”


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How to Be More Attractive

Published 27 October, 2009 | Dating Advice

I had merely exclaimed to a pal (perhaps a tinge enviously) how women seemed to fall at his feet. How did it happen? I was still under the illusion that looks were all when it came to dating, but Matt didn’t have looks, he wasn’t tall or rugged, but he was funny, razor sharp, confident, knew how to talk, and he had his own unique style. In short, he had ‘something about him’ in bucket loads.


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Learn Self-Forgiveness and Release the Pressure

Published 26 October, 2009 | Stress Reduction

Joan had been a model wife since the “stabbing incident” and her husband loved and appreciated her despite the squabble twenty-eight years before that had ended up with him in hospital


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How to Increase Libido

Published 23 October, 2009 | Relationship Advice

The 78-year-old man looked at me and sighed, “I’d give anything to have an erection again!” I’ll speedily add that this was in a clinical setting, not a social one. He’d been depressed and had lost his libido in the bargain. Depression and, to some extent (though less than you might think), age certainly do have a dampening effect on sex drive.


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7 Savvy Study Techniques to Keep You Learning

Published 22 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity

“My problem has always been that I can’t study. By trying one study technique after another, I scrape by, but I never really get the grades I could be getting. But there’s no scraping by with these tests. I’ve got to knuckle down and study!”


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5 Nifty Tips to Stop Blushing

Published 21 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Robert had become stuck in a vicious cycle: he blushed when he was embarrassed, then became embarrassed because he was blushing! So he blushed some more. Recent research shows that the more we think we are blushing, the more we blush


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How to Stop Shy Bladder Syndrome

Published 20 October, 2009 | Health Tips

Okay, we’ve all been there (help me out here, fellas): you’re standing at the urinal; you want to go, but…you just can’t. Anxiety, embarrassment, self-consciousness, feeling pressured around others; whatever the cause, most of us have sometimes experienced shy or ‘bashful bladder’.


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Overcome Fear of Heights

Published 19 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

I’d never had a fear of heights until now, but as the crane took me higher, I noticed with increasing alarm the sounds from the ground far below now becoming muted; the crowd distant. Oh no! I began to breathe rapidly and sweat like a dressed up pig in a sauna whilst my thoughts raced away quicker than a missed train.


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How to Be a More Manly Man

Published 16 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity

We males have much higher levels of testosterone pumping around our systems, making us more naturally suited to risk taking, competitiveness, and physical activity. To deny masculine traits is to deny our birthright.


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Do You Wonder How to Be More Feminine?

Published 15 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Okay, right off, you might think: “Who the heck is he, a man, to tell me, a woman, how to be more feminine! How dare he? Humph!"

Well, I figured women write about men and masculinity, so I’m going to write about femininity.


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Fear of Abandonment

Published 14 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

“I used to have this recurring nightmare. I’d be standing on a rain swept street corner - utterly alone - totally abandoned, lost…I always wondered why I had that dream. Then one day, it happened for real. My ma walked out on all of us!”


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How to Build Self-Confidence

Published 13 October, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Self-confidence isn’t there just to make you feel good. We need self-confidence to drive our aspirations to make them real; it’s as much a vehicle as a destination in itself. What’s more, when you are self-confident others feel it and can’t help but respond.


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Relieve Tension in Your Mind and Body

Published 9 October, 2009 | Stress Reduction

Tension may be okay in the short-term, but long-term it’s a warning. Here are some ways for you to relieve tension to make sure you can become more productive, healthy, and satisfied with your life.


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Boost Your Self-Motivation Today

Published 8 October, 2009 | Personal Productivity

You are able to be incredibly self-motivated! It’s true. We all are, given the right context. If I park my car on your toe, your true motivation for action would manifest immediately - motivation for me to get my darn car off your foot! If you develop a terrible itch, the really intense kind on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the itchiest), how compelled are you to scratch it? Motivation in these contexts is easy to produce.


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How to Overcome Fear of Flying

Published 7 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

Some people think they have a fear of flying when what they really experience is claustrophobia; not liking to feel ‘shut in’. Here I want to focus on fear of flying proper.


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Best Man Speech Tips: Relax, Inspire, and Amuse

Published 6 October, 2009 | Communication Skills

He’d been so terrified of his best man’s speech he drunk half a bottle of whisky, tripped over the microphone, and belched casually at the audience before stumbling away. He’d made an impact all right, but not the one he (not to mention the bride and groom) had hoped for.


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How to Pass Your Driving Test

Published 5 October, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

I had expected to pass my driving test the first time, but as the little old lady dived out the way like a stunt extra from a Die Hard movie, doubt began to creep in. I swerved and she leapt, somersaulting down a grassy knoll (I exaggerate slightly).


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How to Stop Negative Thinking in 7 Simple Steps

Published 2 October, 2009 | Thinking Skills

As someone once said: “Life’s problems reveal who we really are!” and that’s true; negative thinkers can “yeah, but” when things are going great. On the other hand, the more resilient of positive thinkers can remain upbeat when times are tough.


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How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxiety

Published 1 October, 2009 | Sexual Problems

Worrying about outcome blocks performance. And sexual performance anxiety is no different. Sex needs to be relaxed, spontaneous, and fun; a chance to deepen intimacy and be absorbed only in the immediate… Instead, many men feel it is a test of their manhood. But ‘tests’ can be passed or failed - and that’s the problem.


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How to Improve Memory and Concentration

Published 30 September, 2009 | Memory and Learning

Concentration is vital if you want to achieve anything. How and on what you focus determines what kind of life you have. Any great piece of music, painting, tennis stroke, surgical procedure, book, hoop shot, building, movie, or computer programming can only come about through the transforming power of deep and prolonged concentration.


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7 Techniques for Overcoming Social Phobia

Published 29 September, 2009 | Social Anxiety

“I’m okay in a work context or when things are a bit more formal and organized, because I know what to talk about. But as soon as it’s kind of unregulated – you know, just mixing with other people – I go to pieces. It’s like I need a well-defined focus or I panic!”


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Stop Impulse Buying Ruining Your Financial Future

Published 28 September, 2009 | Obsessive / Compulsive?

“It’s as if I’m hypnotized, sucked into the moment. I just forget everything: the mortgage, my kids. All I see is what I want and it’s as if getting it will make me happy! And it does…for a few moments.”


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Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships

Published 25 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice

“If he’s quiet I actually start panicking! I’m thinking: What’s he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don’t know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do?”


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The 9 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Published 24 September, 2009 | Marriage Help

Some couples argue passionately but still have a happy marriage. Others argue less but when they do, the relationship is severely damaged. What’s the difference?


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Stop Arguing Your Relationships to Death

Published 23 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice

Sure, most of us argue sometimes and it would be a boring world if we all saw things in exactly the same way. But destructive arguing can destroy valuable relationships. The opposite of arguing isn’t agreement in all things, it’s knowing how to disagree and still maintain mutual respect and liking.


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Get Control of Your Own Alcohol Abuse

Published 22 September, 2009 | Addiction Help

Think of the words we use to describe taking alcohol: A quick ‘jar’, a ‘nip, bevy, wee dram’ – we have affectionate terms for drinks and that’s a problem. Seeing something as a supportive friend when it’s undermining your very existence makes it all the harder to quit. Of course no ‘friend’ should be a problem. A thief may seem charming, companionable, and cute – but they are still a thief.


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7 Self-Discipline Techniques

Published 21 September, 2009 | Personal Productivity

Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential. Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential.


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7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

Published 18 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice

Kevin admitted that when they went out in public, he would insist she sit toward a wall so that she couldn’t see (or be seen by) other potential attractive mates. If he caught her chatting or joking with male neighbours or colleagues, he would assume right off she was having an affair. She had stopped seeing a really good male friend she’d known since childhood and he’d “banned” her from chatting to a 70-year-old married man who lived next door. This was maddening.


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7 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Published 17 September, 2009 | Social Anxiety

Fear should keep us alert and safe - like the beam from a lighthouse warning ships of submerged dangers. But too much fear, like a super-beam of light blinding the ship’s captain, can cause the loss of the very thing we feared losing.


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How to Stop Teeth Grinding

Published 16 September, 2009 | Bad Habits

Teeth grinding used to really bug a pal of mine. He’d wake in the morning with an aching jaw, he’d catch himself grinding absentmindedly during the day, and pretty soon his teeth started to look like crumbling tombstones in a bad western movie.


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Inflate Your Dating Confidence

Published 15 September, 2009 | Dating Advice

Dave felt uncertain about his looks, he thought his conversation was boring and felt he might run out of things to say. He reminded himself that women find confident men attractive. Somehow this thought made him feel even worse. And he knew he was thinking too much. The trouble was he’d known (even through the alcoholic haze) that Sue was the kind of woman he could really get to like. He sat waiting…


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Overcome Obsessive Thoughts

Published 14 September, 2009 | Obsessive / Compulsive?

Obsessive thoughts breed compulsive actions. The mother who feels that unless she waves five times at her son as he goes to school something bad will happen to him, the anxious businessman who has to ‘avert disaster’ before boarding a plane by clearing his throat thirty times, or the young girl who can keep her parents safe by walking around her bed 50 times before sleeping. Obsessive thoughts often have this element of superstition about them.


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Overcome Masturbation Addiction

Published 11 September, 2009 | Addiction Help

“It feels compulsive now,” he told me. “It’s worse when I’m stressed and I’ve even started doing it in the restroom at work! It’s as if I can’t have an erotic thought or even a stressful situation without feeling I have to go masturbate!”


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Who Wouldn’t Want to Be More Charismatic?

Published 10 September, 2009 | Dating Advice

If you’re in the market to be more charismatic, here’s a riddle for you: What makes you attractive even if you’re ugly? What moves people to take notice even if you’re penniless? What invisible ‘magic’ can seduce, convince, inspire, and mesmerize others? You’re ahead of me - it’s charisma, of course. Like gravity, which cannot be seen but has powerful effects, we can’t ‘see’ charisma but we know when someone has it.


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Overcome Shyness in 5 Easy Steps

Published 8 September, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Her shyness was typical: Fear of meeting new people, lack of self-confidence, self-consciousness, and feeling by turns ‘invisible’ or all too visible. But she now reckons she has got rid of 95% of her shyness.

I’d like to share with you some of the tips and techniques I used to help her.


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How to Overcome Porn Addiction and Get Your Life Back

Published 7 September, 2009 | Addiction Help

Internet porn addiction, like online gambling, is easier to fall into, because what once involved going out and meeting others face-to-face can now be done easily and covertly at the click of a button. This availability makes it all the more potentially devastating. So why does porn addiction happen?


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Better language learning tips

Published 4 September, 2009 | Memory and Learning

It was a beautiful Spanish spring day. I sat in a café in a small southern village, the light lazily playing on my face as it filtered through intertwined branches above. The smell of fresh oranges wafted on the warming breeze and a church bell sounded from the other end of the valley. Then something amazing happened.


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7 Steps to Stop a Panic Attack

Published 3 September, 2009 | Overcoming Fears

“One moment I was driving along thinking about work. The next, I felt like I was going to die! I got really hot, started breathing hard, began to sweat, became tearful, and my pounding heart felt like it was going to burst!” She trembled as she spoke; even recalling it made her tearful.


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How to Stop Procrastinating

Published 2 September, 2009 | Personal Productivity

She had two weeks to complete her degree dissertation. The culmination of three years of study, the key to her chosen career - and was she getting down to it? No. As she told me bitterly of her endless procrastinating: “I’m a rabbit caught in headlamps!”


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5 Restful Ways to Fall Asleep Fast

Published 1 September, 2009 | Sleep Problems

We all know that caffeine and nicotine stimulate and should be avoided for at least three hours before bedtime, but there are other kinds of stimulants just as hazardous to a good night’s kip.


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Public Speaking Techniques Tested at the Front Line

Published 31 August, 2009 | Communication Skills

A great speech should feel like you and the audience are discovering things together. As if you are making connections there and then from a solid base of knowledge. It needs to feel spontaneous, not like a pre-recorded playback.


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Stop Migraine Headaches

Published 10 August, 2009 | Pain Relief

What was happening to me? One moment I was feeling fine among high school classmates gathered around the piano as another boy played; the next, I was nauseous, seeing flashing lights, and feeling like a number twelve boot had been solidly placed, at great speed, into the side of my head.


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5 Pain Management Guidelines

Published 4 August, 2009 | Pain Relief

The taxi driver loved to talk. On dropping me outside my hotel in Glasgow, he graciously opened the door for me. One second, comfort; the next, the sort of all-encompassing pain that, in my opinion, should not directly follow an exchange of cash. He’d slammed my hand in his door.


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How to Stop Biting Your Nails without Painting Them with Poison

Published 4 August, 2009 | Bad Habits

Uncontrolled nail biting - that horrible soreness and knowing it looks pretty awful - can be exasperating, but there are things you can do. First off, become aware of what triggers the nail biting. Is it boredom, stress, tiredness, anger, loneliness, hunger?


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How to Increase Your Motivation at Work

Published 4 August, 2009 | Work Skills

There were once three lazy sons. While their father worked hard on the farm, they lounged, squabbled, ate, and drank. Eventually the father died and left them a will. They were greedily delighted when they saw what it read…


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How to Stop Premature Ejaculation

Published 4 August, 2009 | Sexual Problems

Premature ejaculation plagues millions of men. It can leave both you and your partner dissatisfied, disappointed, embarrassed, and with feelings of guilt. But how does the pattern of premature ejaculation begin?


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7 Weight Loss Motivation Tips That Work

Published 28 July, 2009 | Weight Loss Help

She came to see me. Sheila was her name: “It’s always the same. I get motivated for a few days, lose weight, then something happens and I pile it all on again and more! I’m getting married in three months! You’d think that would be motivation enough but my weight’s been even more all over the place lately!”


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5 Sure-fire Ways to Overcome Fear and Anxiety Today

Published 28 July, 2009 | Social Anxiety

Nasrudin’s heart began to pound. His mouth became as dry as his palms became wet. He shook from head to toe and found himself breathing like an unfit man running to the finishing line of his first marathon.


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How to End a Relationship the Right Way

Published 28 July, 2009 | Relationship Advice

To end a relationship is a big decision, worsened by that heart-sinking feeling of knowing you have to tell them. The actual thought of breaking the news to your soon-to-be-ex can make you feel anxious, even terrified. Sometimes it seems easier to continue with what isn’t working than to ‘upset the applecart’. But if the relationship isn’t right for you, then, ultimately, it’s not right for them either, and the longer an unfulfilling relationship continues, the less chance we have of finding better, happier relationships.


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How to Think Big

Published 28 July, 2009 | Thinking Skills

“Why limit yourself?” The old man looked at me unwaveringly. He was a client I’d helped hypnotically control his blood pressure. He had shown a great deal of interest in my therapy business. “Think big, Mark! Why only see eight people a week when you can teach one hundred, a thousand others to do what you do who could, in turn, each see eight troubled souls a week? 8,000 people a week!”


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7 Energising Exercise Motivation Tips

Published 28 July, 2009 | Exercise and Fitness

The following are motivation tips that work for me (and for many of my clients who need to exercise). If you need exercise motivation, they’ll help you, too.


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Flirting Tips Made Simple

Published 28 July, 2009 | Dating Advice

She was out of – no, infinitely beyond – my league. In fact, my team should scrap thoughts of ever being in any league again. She radiated gorgeousness, a knowing blend of Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly (both of whom would have been dimmed by her radiance). Alabaster skin, curves like the Amazon, and a smile that lit the bar like a prison flashlight. But could it be true? She was smiling at me!


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How to Control Your Anger

Published 24 July, 2009 | Stress Reduction

It used to be thought that it was ’healthy‘ to express anger – to ’let it all out,’ so as to prevent the damage it would do you if you ’bottled it all up.’ But modern research into health and mortality has found that extreme anger is just as damaging to the heart and immune function if it is released as it is if you keep it in.


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7 Steps to Self-Belief

Published 24 July, 2009 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Self-belief is vital. How many things have you not done or tried because you lacked belief in yourself? If you sometimes have trouble believing in yourself then read, absorb, enjoy, and practice these self-belief tips.


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How to Deal with the Control Freak

Published 24 July, 2009 | Dealing with Difficult People

Is there a control freak in your life? Maybe you’re in an intimate relationship with a control freak or perhaps you work with one. Here are some ideas that helped me deal with a control freak.


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7 Easy Quit Smoking Tips

Published 24 July, 2009 | Addiction Help

I shocked Ted. How? I told him he most certainly should continue to smoke. Prepared for battle, this took him off guard. “What?” He looked confused.


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