Do you think you're driving your partner away but can't seem to stop?
Published 04 December, 2013 | Relationship Advice
As with any of life's difficulties, having a strategy to help you through heartbreak and come out stronger makes the difference between extended emotional agony and a swifter-than-you-could-have-believed recovery.
Published 08 September, 2011 | Relationship Advice
We're all interested in human personality and motivation. Personality tests, quizzes, and analysis are massively popular search terms. Sit down in any public space for a little while and eavesdrop on conversations people have about the people in their lives. We all love to talk personality types.
Published 27 May, 2011 | Relationship Advice
Many people want a main relationship in their life. But for some people, it's harder for new relationships to 'take', to grow and thrive.
Published 28 March, 2011 | Relationship Advice
'Fear of commitment' is a well-known phrase. We hear it in the media, as well as use it to describe ourselves or other people who seem chronically unable to decide whether to commit properly to a relationship. Fear of commitment might range from a little uncertainty about your relationship to an absolute terror of 'settling down'.
Published 08 December, 2010 | Relationship Advice
He wasn't just determined to get his ex-girlfriend back; he wanted to marry her. Trouble was, she was just about to marry another man - she was literally at the altar. But true love won out and he got her back anyway, just in the nick of time. Movies - don't you just love them? 'The Graduate' has got to be one of my all-time favourite films.
Published 04 August, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Divorce, whether it was something you wanted or not, can leave you feeling sad, even hopeless. Guilt, anger, resentment, bitterness, a sense of betrayal, feelings of hatred even, all cloud your brain as you try to continue life as 'normal'. But within every change lies opportunity.
Published 28 June, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Research shows that most of us are terrible at spotting a liar, because we have all been trained to look for body language signals that are not actually associated with lying. I want to encourage you to forget all the body language clichés and focus on signs of lying that will tell you the truth.
Published 06 April, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Sibling rivalry can be complex. You might love your sibling but resent them. What's more, the intensity of your resentment can leave you baffled: "I'm an adult now; why does it still hurt so much?!"
Published 20 February, 2010 | Relationship Advice
The concept of unrequited love may sound out of date. But, as evidenced by the huge number of people searching the term online, human concerns haven't really changed all that much since good old Will Shakespeare purportedly wrote: "Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares."
Published 26 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice
Your self-esteem shouldn't be totally dependent on the person with whom you happen to be in a relationship. But the fact is, relationships do have a big impact on the way you feel. And that includes the way you feel about yourself.
Published 15 January, 2010 | Relationship Advice
There it was again: a fresh but already yellowing circle around her eye. I swear the month before she'd carried, for a while, the puffed signs of a swollen jaw; not long before that she'd been wearing dark glasses on an overcast morning. She worked in our local post office. She always looked diffident, unsure, depressed. I never felt able to ask her about herself; the context was all wrong somehow. But I guessed that whoever she was going back to, again and again, was the centre of her Universe - and not in a good way.
Published 29 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Strange one, this: how can we live with someone, see them every day, sleep with them (Biblically and otherwise), share all kinds of experiences, but still not feel emotionally intimate with them? Candice was telling me the reasons why she felt she'd had to divorce her husband.
Published 02 December, 2009 | Relationship Advice
There they sat, both about fifty. I guessed they'd been together since Paleo times, but even so, I was struck by the sheer boredom emanating from each of them toward one another. They didn't speak; not an angry silence, but a "What possibly else can there ever be to talk about? We've said it all." Maybe I'd caught them on an off day, but I'd seen them having lunch in this pub before and it was always the same.
Published 23 October, 2009 | Relationship Advice
The 78-year-old man looked at me and sighed, "I'd give anything to have an erection again!" I'll speedily add that this was in a clinical setting, not a social one. He'd been depressed and had lost his libido in the bargain. Depression and, to some extent (though less than you might think), age certainly do have a dampening effect on sex drive.
Published 25 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
"If he's quiet I actually start panicking! I'm thinking: What's he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don't know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do?"
Published 23 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Sure, most of us argue sometimes and it would be a boring world if we all saw things in exactly the same way. But destructive arguing can destroy valuable relationships. The opposite of arguing isn't agreement in all things, it's knowing how to disagree and still maintain mutual respect and liking.
Published 18 September, 2009 | Relationship Advice
Kevin admitted that when they went out in public, he would insist she sit toward a wall so that she couldn't see (or be seen by) other potential attractive mates. If he caught her chatting or joking with male neighbours or colleagues, he would assume right off she was having an affair. She had stopped seeing a really good male friend she'd known since childhood and he'd "banned" her from chatting to a 70-year-old married man who lived next door. This was maddening.
Published 28 July, 2009 | Relationship Advice
To end a relationship is a big decision, worsened by that heart-sinking feeling of knowing you have to tell them. The actual thought of breaking the news to your soon-to-be-ex can make you feel anxious, even terrified. Sometimes it seems easier to continue with what isn't working than to 'upset the applecart'. But if the relationship isn't right for you, then, ultimately, it's not right for them either, and the longer an unfulfilling relationship continues, the less chance we have of finding better, happier relationships.